January 20, 2024 11:53 am
Posted on Facebook, in rapid response to my friend’s share of an Alzheimer’s Awareness Week message:
More and more of my patients seem to live in fear of dementia, and rightly so. I see it as my job to hold that fear, validate it, and also monitor for its immediate effects. Constant fear that looms over us like a black cloud is threat stress, and that has significant negative health consequences in itself, both immediate and long term.
How can we get to peace with our inevitable end, however it may occur? I was just thinking about it this morning, as I have written about it often the past 8+ years on the blog. Today I believe that if I were to die tomorrow, and I had five minutes at the end to relfect, I could be at peace. But who TF knows? I could be a thrashing rage case at the end of my life, depending on the circumstances. But I realized this morning that this may be an excellent example of a Useful Delusion. Because I feel, however irrationally, at peace with my own death today, I can live more peacefully now, freed from that particular fear. Maybe. That’s the story I tell.
Of note: None of us can actually control our future health and death. But we have so much agency to influence risk and likelihood. Thankfully, all of the behaviors that help prevent heart disease also lower the risk of everything else: cancer, diabetes, obesity, and dementia. None of us can be perfect in all of our health habits; some are easier than others for each of us. But if we focus more on goals and trade offs, acting intentionally and mindfully as much as possible, assessing and adjusting often, I think we will have less to regret at the the end, no matter what happens.
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Someone once said when you love someone with Dementia you lose them more and more everyday. When they are diagnosed, when they go through different stages, when they need treatment and when they die. This is called “Ambigua Loss.”
I wouldn’t wish Dementia on anyone. As the brain slowly dies, it changes physically and eventually forgets who their loved ones are. They can end up lying in bed not moving and not eating or drinking.
There will be people who will scroll by this post because Dementia has not touched them. They may not know what it’s like to have a loved one who battled or is fighting Dementia.
To Raise Awareness of this Cruel Disease, I’d like my Friends to Put this on their Page Today.
Hold Finger on Post to Copy and Paste to Your Timeline.
A Special Thank You to All Willing to Post This On their Timeline for Alzheimer’s Awareness Week 
Posted by Catherine Cheng, MD
Categories: Health, mindfulness, personal growth
Tags: alzheimers, alzheimers-disease, dementia, health, mental health, Useful Delusions Shankar Vedantam
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By Mick Canning on January 20, 2024 at 2:19 pm
Thank you for sharing, sir!! 🙏🏼🥹❤️
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By Catherine Cheng, MD on January 20, 2024 at 2:21 pm
Sir? Goodness me, Cathy!
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By Mick Canning on January 20, 2024 at 2:22 pm