March 16, 2025 11:47 pm
I feel unwell.
–You’re fine.
No really, I’m not myself.
–You’re fine.
But my life is being disrupted by how I feel: Unwell. Not myself!
–But the tests are all normal. I can’t figure it out. Therefore you must be fine.
Why won’t you listen to me? It feels like you don’t care.
–[It’s not that I don’t care.]
–[My training has not taught me now to cope with things I cannot solve.]
–[The system rewards me for more encounters, more tests, and not necessarily more thought, presence, patience, empathy, compassion, or humility.]
–[The culture of my profession resists uncertainty, vulnerability, and holistic complexity.]
[Maybe I really am fine; am I just imagining the unwell?]
–[I wish I had time to sit with folks… to find and ask better questions, to observe, to really listen… to show the care that I felt called to give back when I started…]
I feel unwell.
–Please, tell me more…
–Hmmm. That’s interesting–some things fit together, others don’t.
–Here’s what I’m thinking; let’s do this; talk soon.
I’m still unwell. And here’s what’s happening now.
–Huh. Fascinating. Tests all look normal. Something doesn’t fit.
–Tell me more, again?
–This is not like you. We have not seen this before for you. I actually don’t see this in general. Huh. Then again, some of this fits exactly with how I know you.
–Okay next steps; talk soon.
Gaaah, still unwell! What is going on?
–I’m so sorry. Let’s review again, please?
–[What am I missing, not seeing? Do I need to get closer up or further back?]
–OK time to get help. [Who has a different perspective and can really broaden mine here?]
–You’re not fine.
–But how are you still okay? Let’s maintain that, and still work on the unwell.
–I’m here. With you. I’m not going anywhere. And we will keep getting other help.
–We will get through it.
–Together.
Posted by Catherine Cheng, MD
Categories: communication, culture, Health, medicine, mindfulness, physician, relationship
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By The Mindful Migraine Blog on March 17, 2025 at 12:56 am