One Cheek in the Saddle

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Hello friends!  I live!

The blog is now two years old (celebratory post forthcoming).  Looking back, I have strayed often from the declared theme of patient-physician relationship and communication.  I have yet to figure out my optimum writing practice and discipline.  And every day the thing I long for most is to write for fun!  *sigh* Life.

If my world were a horse, happily trotting along a winding dirt trail in the Rockies, oblivious to my riding its back, then I would have fallen off multiple times from confusion, inexperience, fear, overreaction, awe, inattention, and impulse.  Sometimes I roll a ways down the hill, too.  The past two months or so have seen all of these and more.  Thankfully, as dust-covered and disoriented as I stand at times, the horse always allows me to remount.  At this point I’m about halfway back in the saddle again—one cheek on.  The next few posts will document my return to two-buttock riding.

***

So much inner work done to date, and so much yet to do!  And I am infinitely grateful for the dense, strong, and unfailing network of support that surrounds me.  2017 could be my most productive and effective year yet, and I need help organizing.  So a couple weeks ago, I scheduled a session with my life coach of 12 years.

Her pre-call questions for me, and my spontaneous answers:

What do I want more of?

Connection, understanding, civil discourse.

To see people being kind to one another.

For people to truly listen to one another and try to understand each other’s points of view.

For us all to hold our shared humanity above all else, and see one another as fellow humans, all trying to make our way through an uncertain life.

Inner Peace.

Time outside, preferably in Colorado, in the mountains, but pretty much anywhere is good.

To write with purpose, discipline, and impact.

Integration—of everything I do, even the small things—for my Why to show up everywhere I go, with everybody I meet, most of all with my kids—to model the Why for them, in person and out loud.

To read primary literature, writings of the great thinkers and contemplatives, past and present.

Discernment—what is worth my time, contributes to my purpose, vs. what detracts from it?

Focus on what I’m for, rather than what I’m against.

Focus in general—to channel my energy to activities that align most with my central mission.  See Distraction below.

 

What do I want less of?

Rage and seething.

Repression of rage and seething.

Time wasted for lack of discernment.

Distraction.  I feel like Doug, the dog from the movie “Up”—Squirrel!  It all matters, but I cannot do everything at the same time.

 

What thoughts are uppermost in my mind these days?

The daily shit show that is our government and how it vexes me (see above, rage and seething)—sooo many squirrels.

I need to do something useful, to help, to contribute.

We are all in this together, we have to get through it together.

This is a test.  We can pass, and with flying colors, and only if we work together.

Every time I get angry, sarcastic, etc., I contribute to the negativity and morass.  I need to be better.

Why have I so much trouble walking the talk?  Why have I not achieved inner peace althef*ingready?

 

I present thusly to my trusted coach. The process always brings new insights, connections, and openings of mind and heart.  I plan to emerge on the other side of 60 minutes with increased clarity, confidence, and drive.  I’ll let you know! 😉

Oh yeah, and the Rules of Engagement also live, just taking an unplanned hiatus.  More of those to come, also.  Like I said, I’m only one cheek back on right now. 😉

 

 

8 thoughts on “One Cheek in the Saddle

  1. Welcome back to blogging /writing! I love how engaged you have been in promoting positive political discourse and action. But sometimes you have to take two steps back. I think it might help to find the “why” the “inner peace” and help with feeling connected. And decrease a lot of what u want less off. When more solid there, it might be easier to to enter the challenging world of promoting communication between the divided. Regardless, look forward to hearing from you more.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So good to read your thoughts again, Cathy! Thanks for sharing with us your coaching questions and your wise and candid answers. Your solid intentions and belief in ultimate goodness shine through the disillusionment. Though the present circumstances make it challenging to find and sustain inner peace, I must believe that people like you who engage thoughtfully and hold to their values—even as they see those values trampled by others—will ultimately effect the change they are looking for. Looking forward to hearing your stories of getting back on the horse, one cheek at a time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Donna!
      You always know just what to write to make me feel good about myself and my writing. 🙂 I am so grateful for that, and for you. The questions my coach asked me during the session were even more illuminating–I’m dying to share–more soon! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hmmm, I like it! Yes, the horse certainly knows, or at least it’s guided by forces not of its own making. Either way, I have very little control over what it does, though I can learn ways to influence it ever so slightly… 😉 And yes falling off, looking and feeling around, thinking, “How fascinating, look what just happened!” Then, without judgment or resentment, figuring out the way back on, and continuing to enjoy the view and the journey, while learning now to steer the horse when it lets me. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Catherine! So nice to see you back. We are all working on things these days, sometimes very similar things. It’s good to find the connections in the blogging community–the shared feelings, good or bad, and it’s encouraging to know that our values and concerns are shared by others. Your writing always resonates with me Catherine. I hope you are soon back in the saddle, firmly, on both cheeks!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Ilona! Thanks so much for your kind words, and yes, it is very encouraging to feel part of such a supportive tribe here in the blogosphere. 🙂 I know there are also people here who don’t necessarily share all of my views and opinions, and my hope is that if/when I do engage them, it can be in the spirit of shared humanity, common goals, and a mutual love of writing. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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