Staying In the Game

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The Infinite Game, Simon Sinek

You guys, it’s possible I can jump farther than I am tall!

I’m only 5’2″, so it’s really not that far, but I’m excited! I can make it from one end of the turf to the other at Ethos, Coach Mason and I estimate 30 feet, in about 5 jumps. Next week I will find a tape measure–OH that will be fun! I’ll see how far I can actually jump, and then have something to maybe work on in the coming year!

This block we are training deadlift again, and next week I will try for 200# x 4 on the trap bar. Friend Jerry the musician/filmmaker/NGO fundraiser and all around lovely human has been my workout buddy these last two weeks and we plan to achieve this goal together!

One movement I may stop pushing for a while is the back squat. My knees tell me they don’t want to lift more than my body weight from a very low position, and I’m okay with that. Glad they’re voicing their opposition. I am confident my coaches and I can find a modification that allows me to continue progressing and also prevent injury.

Simon Sinek wrote in Start With Why, “When you compete against everyone else, no one wants to help you. But when you compete against yourself, everyone wants to help you.” YES! His book The Infinite Game came to mind today as I considered my broad jump–how much better could I still get at this age? How much longer can I keep jumping like this? In finite games the goal is to win and end the game. Infinite games by definition never end; there is no ‘winner’. I’ve written about the book before as its tenets apply to organizations and leadership. But the idea of ‘staying in the game of life’ hit me today. He briefly discusses health practices such as diet and exercise in both SWW and TIG, using them as examples of actions (leading indicators) that stem from a commitment (our [just] cause) and reliably move us toward our ultimate goals.

So what is the goal, the objective, in the game of life or any infinite game, he asks? It is to stay in the game and keep playing as long as possible. To me this means maintaining and optimizing self-efficacy, autonomy, and vitality. It means fueling, training, resting, connecting, and thriving in a way that is stable, strong, flexible, agile, and resilient for as long as we can, with a mindset of allostasis (see Brad Stulberg’s books Master of Change and The Way of Excellence below).

Sinek’s book doesn’t discuss The Infinite Game in terms of individual health or longevity, but I think the concept still applies. What do we need to stay healthy and thrive with age?

from Reading Graphics

Can we translate this mindset from business to health? My health is a just cause when it’s not only for my own sake. I will be the best mom, doctor, daughter, spouse, and friend if I am well, body, mind, and spirit. I do it to maximize my contribution in this lifetime. It doesn’t matter how far anyone else jumps, or how much anyone else lifts. That’s none of my business. I just want to show up and be my best self as often as possible. I need to recognize real limitations when they occur and pivot when necessary, navigating ever forward, open always to novel paths. And when my friends want to do the same, I’m right there on their sidelines, cheering loud and proud for them, just as they do for me.

I’m also reminded of Brad Stulberg’s excellent work, which he shares generously on Instagram:

Focus on effort and cultivate curiosity. Get good help when we need it. Adapt to changing conditions, strive healthily and reasonably. I confess I have not yet listened to The Way of Excellence, but I feel confident recommending it because I know Brad’s work and he engages his audience with grace, humility, and generosity. Maybe I will finally listen this month, in time to dedicate an entire post to it!

I just love when concepts from multiple sources intersect and integrate, inflluencing and validating my own lived experience, encouraging me to keep looking, thinking, wondering, asking, and sharing.

How are you competing with yourself, striving to make healthy progress in meaningful ways to you? What concepts, practices, and people hold you up along the way?
What infinite games do you play?

NaBloPoMo 2026: All Things Books

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National Blog Posting Month, Year Eleven, friends!
30 posts in 30 days, let’s go.

I thought intially I’d write one book review a day, as I have hundreds to choose from (see the Books post in December every year since 2019), and more each week! But why limit myself? Why not write whatever emerges that has anything to do with books, no obligations or pressure? It’s so much more fun to leave things open and possible, no?

Some topics may include:
-Books in any media
-Authors–impressions, presence, engagement, relationships
-Audiobook stuff (voice actors, audiobook community, storytelling platforms including audio erotica)… also impressions, presence, engagement, relationships, intersections
-Social media and online/virtual communities
-Social activism in the book world, eg Audio In Color
-Role of literature, reading, and books in history, culture, society, especially the ones that get banned; emergence/proliferation of queer lit, art, and media; intersection/relationship with politics, family dynamics, global economy, personal development
-AI perspectives–writing tool, human labor theft, generative slop, making us more efficient and dumber, no going back, potential to make us net better or worse
-Economics of publishing

How has consumption of books evolved in our lifetime? In what domains and contexts has that evolution occurred? What/how can we anticipate the future of writing and reading, and the function, value, and risks of words?

Last year I was immersed in jar smiles, twelve a day for thirty days. I managed to gift all but three sets all over the country, which was fun. They were spontaneous, honest, and fun, if not at all my best writing by a long shot! This year’s commitment feels a bit more daunting, especially since I plan to continue my six hours a week in the pottery studio, work is still busy, I’m still getting to Ethos three to five times a week (at least a three hour event front to back), I’m starting some amazing inner work with a new coach, and still writing love letters to patients each week! Teeheeheeeee, life is full… And it’s all good!

Body, mind, spirit, relationships, organizations, and society… Always thinking of the nestings and intersections, my friends. We each have a role to play in all the spaces we occupy. Books in all forms give us information, education, and perspective, if we are open to receiving.
I need to read more things I disagree with.

What do you need from your books?

Words and Actions

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“Please never doubt the light you bring to my life. I am a new garden and you
are the sun that gives me my reason for blooming.” –JPG
“Darling, there is no tomorrow without you. If I ever lost you,
I would live forever in all the days I had with you.” –JPG
“Oh how great is the depth of my wanting for you.” –JPG

What do the words in these images do for you, friends? What do they bring forth?

If you are not already acquainted, I highly recommend finding and following Josh Greene, @typewrittenlovenotes on Instagram and on his Substack. His writing is thoughtful and evocative, keenly astute to all things human. He engages his audience with the most admirable integration of openness, earnestness, and appropriate boundaries.

I read the three expressions of his post above and commented, “Wondering… what are the day to day actions that go along with these words? It’s lovely to imagine.” Two avenues of reflection emerged from the question:

How do I walk the talk?
If I tell you how much I love you, care about you, and value you, how do I show you in our everyday interactions? What does it mean to live these words? How do I treat you such that you believe me when I say them? It makes me wonder which people in my life feel a gap between what I profess and how I behave. How do I delude myself, believing my words and actions are fully aligned when they are not? What needs to happen for those who feel the gap to tell me so I may correct, either the words or the actions?
It’s so easy (for some of us) to say the flowery words. They make everybody feel good with instant gratification. When things are harmonious it’s easy to act lovingly. How do I show up when it’s hard? Do I live up to my own standards of integrity, compassion, and self-regulation? Perfection is not possible. But how much is good enough? How do I keep myself accountable?

What words/stories drive my actions off track?
I make generous assumptions about most people most of the time; I place myself pretty far on the right side of the curve compared to the general population here. And yet, there are those for whom I hold only sparse generosity. I justify my attitude and seek validation for it. Thankfully, I have dear friends who will provide that emotional validation, remind me of my own standards of conduct, and challenge me to reconcile my actions accordingly.
I come back to the words. How do I label these people and thus prime myself for disconnection rather than connection, the exact opposite of what I always say I want most in life and relationships? It’s an uncomfortable and humbling irony, and one that I am grateful occurs only occasionally. So I am determined to suck all possible learning from each occurrence, in hopes of prevention in future. Disconnect will always happen of course, but my high dream is to look back and see that I did my best to present my best self whenever possible. What do I need for that to happen more reliably?

These questions feel important, but not necessarily urgent. I’m reminded of Rilke’s admonishment to ‘live the questions‘, to simply be alive to them, let the answers reveal themselves over time. I have trained my observation and reflection muscles well; they are tone and strong. So I don’t fear the heavy self-awareness lifts when they cross my path. I can slow down, take a breath, and assess. I get to decide whether and how to approach, detour, confront, or take other action. I’ll know when I need to know, and I am well supported with excellent counsel.

So let’s live some good questions, shall we? The world needs us all to speak and act more thoughtfully and reflectively, and be much better self-regulated.