Words and Actions

Posted on October 25, 2026 by Catherine Cheng, MD

“Please never doubt the light you bring to my life. I am a new garden and you
are the sun that gives me my reason for blooming.” –JPG

“Darling, there is no tomorrow without you. If I ever lost you,
I would live forever in all the days I had with you.” –JPG

“Oh how great is the depth of my wanting for you.” –JPG

What do the words in these images do for you, friends? What do they bring forth?

If you are not already acquainted, I highly recommend finding and following Josh Greene, @typewrittenlovenotes on Instagram and on his Substack. His writing is thoughtful and evocative, keenly astute to all things human. He engages his audience with the most admirable integration of openness, earnestness, and appropriate boundaries.

I read the three expressions of his post above and commented, “Wondering… what are the day to day actions that go along with these words? It’s lovely to imagine.” Two avenues of reflection emerged from the question:

How do I walk the talk?
If I tell you how much I love you, care about you, and value you, how do I show you in our everyday interactions? What does it mean to live these words? How do I treat you such that you believe me when I say them? It makes me wonder which people in my life feel a gap between what I profess and how I behave. How do I delude myself, believing my words and actions are fully aligned when they are not? What needs to happen for those who feel the gap to tell me so I may correct, either the words or the actions?
It’s so easy (for some of us) to say the flowery words. They make everybody feel good with instant gratification. When things are harmonious it’s easy to act lovingly. How do I show up when it’s hard? Do I live up to my own standards of integrity, compassion, and self-regulation? Perfection is not possible. But how much is good enough? How do I keep myself accountable?

What words/stories drive my actions off track?
I make generous assumptions about most people most of the time; I place myself pretty far on the right side of the curve compared to the general population here. And yet, there are those for whom I hold only sparse generosity. I justify my attitude and seek validation for it. Thankfully, I have dear friends who will provide that emotional validation, remind me of my own standards of conduct, and challenge me to reconcile my actions accordingly.
I come back to the words. How do I label these people and thus prime myself for disconnection rather than connection, the exact opposite of what I always say I want most in life and relationships? It’s an uncomfortable and humbling irony, and one that I am grateful occurs only occasionally. So I am determined to suck all possible learning from each occurrence, in hopes of prevention in future. Disconnect will always happen of course, but my high dream is to look back and see that I did my best to present my best self whenever possible. What do I need for that to happen more reliably?

These questions feel important, but not necessarily urgent. I’m reminded of Rilke’s admonishment to ‘live the questions‘, to simply be alive to them, let the answers reveal themselves over time. I have trained my observation and reflection muscles well; they are tone and strong. So I don’t fear the heavy self-awareness lifts when they cross my path. I can slow down, take a breath, and assess. I get to decide whether and how to approach, detour, confront, or take other action. I’ll know when I need to know, and I am well supported with excellent counsel.

So let’s live some good questions, shall we? The world needs us all to speak and act more thoughtfully and reflectively, and be much better self-regulated.

Clearing Space

Posted on October 18, 2026 by Catherine Cheng, MD

I require a good hard shove to declutter these days, my friends! Always something else to do—I am a master procrastinator.

I wonder what I was doing before with the six hours a week I now spend in the pottery studio? Maybe cooking, possibly cleaning, or just keeping up with life—emails, etc? It was definitely not keeping my house from getting overrun by *stuff*.

The last month or so found my mind laden by time management and tasks, namely packing the house for new carpet, then traveling abroad, to the point where this past week I was finally taken down by some ambient virus, opportunistic little bugger. But as I climb out from illness a new energy emerges, one that breathes easier now that the carpet is installed and I can move back into my spaces with intention and organization.

It’s too embarrassing to show the before photos; suffice it to say my house has been *dense* for many years. I took a carload of stuff to Goodwill a few weeks ago, and there is at least another half load accumulating. I think my nervous system has relaxed significantly since getting my closets out of the bathtub and books back on the shelf today. The latter now bears a cohesive organization for the first time in years. *sigh*

The first thing that called to move back, however, was my stationery. In excavating my prior spaces I discovered packets of it squirreled away everywhere, and I took the time to box it up together so I’d know exactly where to find it all. I felt positively giddy to unpack it onto that empty shelf right next to the desk that had been too buried to use. Then I moved all of my washi tape boxes on top, and my craft drawers back in place, and voilà, now all I want to do is sit and write snail mail.

It will be some weeks before the whole place is back to full operational status. I’m confident I can get there steadily, and the journey will be at least as rewarding as the outcome. Come to think of it, I’ve been clearing space and opening more than just floors and closets lately. Money, emotions, and relationships are all getting a good evaluation and adjustment, all in refreshing and reinforcing ways. Pottery has reignited some creativity as well as stimulated openness to trying new things in a safe and familiar setting.

We live in our stagnation because it’s the status quo, no? It’s organic and insidious, just happens. I could have continued living in that state indefinitely, I think. And it has certainly cost me to disrupt and reorganize it. But it’s already worth the time, attention, and energy (physical, emotional, and relational) spent. The challenge now will be to establish and maintain a new, more mindful and intentional environment that reflects how I want to show up to myself and my life.

Clearing space. Opening. Reorganizing. Oh, this could be good and big.

Celebrate One Another’s Gifts

Posted on October 11, 2026 by Catherine Cheng, MD

Friends, I have jetlag so I will be brief:

“I think we could all encourage one another to acknowledge and articulate our gifts more. That could make the world better.”
I wrote this to JP Greene, @typewrittenlovenotes, in response to his story reel describing his gift of acute and specific memory.

I traveled to Portugal this past week to attend the wedding of two of my favorite young people. What a gift and privilege, and a memory I will treasure lifelong. Not only did I get to spend enough quality time with both bride and groom, but I got to meet their and their parents’ dear and loving friends, and came home having made a bunch of new friends myself.

The event included multiple opportunities to reminisce and reflect on the newlyweds’ roots, personalities, and relationships. The ceremony and vows represented them both so earnestly and exquisitely. Their honest and authentic natures clearly present to us all right up front and consistently, as every description of them from the best mates to parents were exactly the people we all know and love, all why every one of us was willing to fly over an ocean to celebrate their marriage.

How often do you hear from others about your gifts?
How often do you exercise them in both confidence and humility?

How often do you express your appreciation of others’ gifts to them?
How often do you notice yet stay silent?

When we reflect others’ gifts and impact back to them, specifically and in real time, we reinforce what we love most about them. We validate and strengthen their self-awareness and self-worth. When we notice someone making a positive difference in the world, acknowledging it amplifies the effect and helps us all absorb and integrate that energy better. I believe we are more likely ourselves to act in kind thereafter–it’s a win-win.

This week, I challenge us to practice.

Articulate our admiration with assertive positivity. To be clear, we must be genuine and honest–actively responsive in and to our observations. It need not be effusive, per se, just earnest and direct. If it feels uncomfortable, may we muster the boldness to overcome the discomfort (maybe explore it?) and connect despite it. Sincere compliments make us generous on the receiving end; they can someone’s day, which brightens our own day. I think we consistently underestimate the vast and beneficial ripple effects of a few kind and encouraging words.

May we make one another feel seen and appreciated, my friends. May we openheartedly point out others’ gifts to them, and help them self-acknowledge. Far from stoking egoism and arrogance, I think we will simply call forth our best selves for one another and for the world. Imagine what a better society we could build this way?