Rest In Power, King

https://www.facebook.com/chadwickboseman/photos/a.10154144681649864/10157949281529864

My heart is so heavy this weekend, friends.  Maybe yours is, too.  Humanity lost such a bright star last night.  I post today to collect, for myself in one place, words and videos of and about Chadwick Boseman, so I may return here for inspiration and grace hereafter.  This is my tribute.

Read about his most visible and important body of work, in the space of only seven years.  I wish I had known him sooner.  But I’m sure many would agree, once we knew him, we were mesmerized.  Just seeing him, watching and hearing him speak, we felt an immediate kinship.  Superhero?  Yes, absolutely.  And also someone we could sit down with over a drink and really relate—easily.  At least that’s my fantasy. Through his work, he calls us to be better, to fulfill our potential.

Read about his family and early life experiences, his journey to and through acting, and how he approached his characters and life in general:

In a pop taxonomy of black male nobility, he is cut squarely from the mold of Barack Obama — generally cool-blooded, affable, devoted to unglamorous fundamentals — a figure whom he is doubtlessly on a shortlist to portray in an inevitable epic.

Boseman told me his method of humanizing superhumans begins with searching their pasts. He’s looking for gestational wounds, personal failures, private fears — fissures where the molten ore of experience might harden into steel.

Watch Black moviegoers, young and old, express what he means to them in his portrayal of Wakanda’s King T’Challa in Marvel’s Black Panther. This video made me cry. To see the deep and profound emotions of people who finally see themselves represented on the big screen—why have they had to wait so long? It reminds me of how I cried during Crazy Rich Asians, when I heard Yeh Lai Xiang, a song I grew up listening to, when I heard such familiar words spoken by the characters, when I watched and understood viscerally the meaning of the ma jiang scene. Watch also how Boseman emerges from behind the curtain to meet and embrace each of these fans—see his presence, his empathy, his respect, humility, grace, humor, and magnanimity.

Watch him speak on behalf of his colleagues on their challenges in their industry, and the meaning of their success for themselves and those who will come after them. Watch how he effortlessly inhabits confidence, strength, humility, authenticity, hope, and challenge. See how he graciously accepts accolades while simultaneously conveying a message that we have work yet to do (that’s how I hear it). To be “young, gifted, and Black,” indeed.

Finally, watch—don’t just listen or read, really watch—his 2018 commencement address at his alma mater, Howard University.  See his easy and relaxed, generous and relatable demeanor.  Hear his words—stories of challenge, integrity, perseverance, and generosity—both his and the students’.  Feel his hopes for and blessings on the graduates, and his admonishment to us all, to be better, to lead, to take the harder path, for the sake of those who come after us.  Some brief exerpts: 

But beyond the physical campus, the Hilltop represents the culmination of the intellectual and spiritual journey you have undergone while you were here. You have been climbing this academic slope for at least three or four years. For some of you, maybe even a little bit more. Throughout ancient times, institutions of learning have been built on top of hills to convey that great struggle is required to achieve degrees of enlightenment. Each of you had your own unique difficulties with the hill.

Most of you graduating here today struggled against one or more of the impediments or obstacles I’ve mentioned in order to reach this hill top. When completing a long climb, one first experiences dizziness, disorientation and shortness of breath due to the high altitude, but once you become accustomed to the climb, your mind opens up to the tranquility of the triumph.

As is often the case, those that follow most often enjoy the results of the progress you gained. You love the university enough to struggle with it. Now, I have to ask you that you have to continue to do that even now that you received your demands. Even if you are walking today, you have to continue to do that. Everything that you fought for was not for yourself. It was for those that come after. You could have been disgruntled and transferred, but you fought to be participants in making this institution the best that it can be.

Your freedom of speech was exercised in a way where you can contribute to this place. It also shows that you can contribute to the democracy. The administration and the campus police at the time when I was protesting were not nearly as open-minded as this current one. I know this was a difficult time, but because of both of you, I believe Howard is a few steps closer to the actualization of its potential, the potential that many of us have dreamed for it. Students, your protests are also promising because many of you will leave Howard and enter systems and institutions that have a history of discrimination and marginalization. The fact that you have struggled with this university that you love is a sign that you can use your education to improve the world that you are entering.

…execs of the show called me into their offices and told me how happy they were with my performance. They wanted me to be around for a long time. They said if there was anything that I needed, just let them know. That was my opening. I decided to ask them some simple questions about the background of my character, questions that I felt were pertinent to the plot. Question number one: Where is my father? The exec answered, “Well, he left when you were younger.” Of course. Okay. Okay. Question number two: In this script, it alluded to my mother not being equipped to operate as a good parent, so why exactly did my little brother and I have to go into foster care? Matter-of-factly, he said, “Well, of course she is on heroin”.

That could be real, I guess, but I didn’t want to assume that’s what it was. If we are around here assuming that the black characters in the show are criminals, on drugs and deadbeat parents, then that would probably be stereotypical, wouldn’t it? That word stereotypical lingered. …I was let go from that job on the next day.

…But am I actually black balled. We are hesitant about sending you out to some people right now because there is a stigma that you are difficult. As conflicted as I was before I lost the job, as adamant as I was about the need to speak truth to power, I found myself even more conflicted afterwards. I stand here today knowing that my Howard University education prepared me to play Jackie Robinson, James Brown, Thurgood Marshall and T’Challa.

Graduating class, hear me well on this day. This day, when you have reached the hill top and you are deciding on next jobs, next steps, careers, further education, you would rather find purpose than a job or career. Purpose crosses disciplines. Purpose is an essential element of you. It is the reason you are on the planet at this particular time in history. Your very existence is wrapped up in the things you are here to fulfill. Whatever you choose for a career path, remember, the struggles along the way are only meant to shape you for your purpose. When I dared to challenge the system that would relegate us to victims and stereotypes with no clear historical backgrounds, no hopes or talents, when I questioned that method of portrayal, a different path opened up for me, the path to my destiny.

Our time on this earth is truly short, my friends.  What are we doing with it? 

God bless you, Mr. Boseman, for your shining example.  You are a king of our hearts in so many ways.  Now you rest.  We carry on in your honor.

How to Do the Holidays Safely This Year

“Wear a condom!”

Asking loved ones not to be together for the holidays is like asking teens not to have sex.  People will do it no matter what we say, so we should help them do it as safely as possible.  Let’s talk about COVID condom-equivalents!  Below are my thoughts, here at the end of August, about how we can make holiday gatherings hotbeds for communion and connection, rather than infection and transmission. These are my own recommendations and do not represent the advice or policies of my employer:

Talk About It Now

If your family is anything like mine, people have varying degrees of comfort and anxiety about COVID, and these levels may themselves oscillate and evolve over time.  Before we even talk about gathering for the holidays, we need to know how people feel and what they think about it all, as much as possible.  Talk to your nuclear family.  How important is it for each of you to be with extended family?  What trade-offs are people willing and not willing to make in order to do so?  What are the deal breakers?  What are the must-haves?  Starting these conversations today gives everybody time to reconcile differing opinions and make the most accommodating and collaborative plans.

Contact your extended families.  What’s everybody thinking?   Who’s on the same page?  For those who are not, what will need to happen?  How can we all work it out so that these holidays bring joy and connection, however we can get it, rather than more separation and loneliness?

Isolate for 14 days in advance

The most effective method for preventing infection and transmission is isolation. The incubation period for SARS-CoV-2 is 2 to 14 days. If we have no contacts outside of our household in that time, the chances of us getting infected, and then passing the virus onto others, is very low. I know this is not possible for many, but if we really want to be together safely, this is what we should aim for. Everybody who will be together in the extended family needs to minimize contact with people who will not be with us, in order for us not to spread the virus rapidly between us.

Merge Bubbles SAFELY

Once we have decided to gather, we should follow precautions obsessively:

  1. DO NO PARTICIPATE IF WE HAVE SYMPTOMS.
  2. Check temperature daily; stay away/isolate if over 100.0 degrees Fahrenheit.
  3. Wash hands and sanitize surfaces like our lives depend on it—20 seconds with soap and water, or enough 60+% ethanol-based hand sanitizer to take many seconds to dry, no exceptions, early and often.
  4. DO NOT share anything: utensils, drinking vessels, implements, etc.  When it doubt, throw it out and get a new/clean one.
  5. Minimize close contact–consider masks if close contact is prolonged.
  6. Optimize ventilation.
  7. Spread out whenever possible.
  8. Mask up if it helps us feel safer—especially if anyone was not able to isolate.  Respect one another’s decisions on this—be kind and generous.  Nothing ruins a gathering, holiday or otherwise, faster than snide comments and passive-aggression.

Know the Risks

So many statistics abound, and depending on our particular perspective on the pandemic, we will focus on certain facts more than others.  The bottom line is this:  Populational statistics are not easily applied to individuals.  Nothing can predict your or your family’s outcome if exposed.  Some things to keep in mind:

  1. None of us, not even veteran infectious diseases and public health expert Dr. Anthony Fauci, have seen a disease with such a spectacularly wide spectrum of illness—from asymptomatic to rapid multisystem organ failure and death, and everything in between.
  2. Any person, regardless of demographic, could have any course.
  3. There is no way to predict what any given individual will have, and virtually no way to influence it, other than preventing infection in the first place.  Maybe you can increase your vitamin D level and decrease your risk (talk to your doctor about it).  But unless you’re in the hospital (which means you are very sick), where remdesivir and dexamethasone may shorten your hospital course, there is nothing you can take or do to make you better.  You could be ill for many weeks with symptoms that involve your lungs, gut, brain/nervous system, heart, and blood vessels.  And all you will be able to do is wait it out.
  4. If you get infected, even if you recover, we still don’t know whether and what long term effects the virus and the disease will have on your body and/or your immune system.  It’s simply too new.
  5. The local positivity rate where we are can help us assess the risk we pose to others.  Where are we and our relatives coming from, and what does the pandemic look like t/here?  Find out here

Stay vigilant

Let’s say Thanksgiving goes well and nobody gets (too) sick in the weeks following.  Are we getting together again in December or over the New Year?  If so, we will all need to follow the same preparations and precautions before and during all gatherings to make it into 2021 unscathed.  The good news is, if we have already merged bubbles and we all steer clear of contacts outside of this new cohort, we may continue to commune safely all through the season.

I may update this post as the holidays get closer. Maybe everything will get better and we will have much less to worry about… I seriously doubt it. The best thing that could happen is that we all draw closer, physically and/or otherwise, to take care of each other and appreciate all that we have; that we live more mindfully, kindly, and inclusively in all domains; that we pull together in every way and keep each other safe and healthy.

What will be your COVID condom-equivalents this holiday season?  How willing are you to wear them every time, no question, without fail, to protect yourself and your loved ones?

***

Coda:  On Testing

Below is a draft of information I have written for patients.  It reviews what constitutes an exposure, and guides decision making about testing.  Bottom line:  Negative testing does NOT guarantee the absence of infection or risk of transmission.  Know what the information means and how to use it before getting tested.  These are also my own recommendations and do not represent the advice or policies of my employer:

Definition and Degree of Exposure

Known exposure

–You spent more than 15 minutes within 6 feet of someone who was symptomatic with COVID-19 illness and/or tested positive ​within the two weeks prior or 48 hours after the time you were with them.

Possible exposure

–Same situation as above, but you and/or the other person were masked​.  ​Some would still consider this an exposure​, others would not.  If you were both masked for the entire encounter, the risk of transmission ​is significantly lower.

— You spent less than 15 minutes unmasked with someone who was symptomatic or tested positive within the two weeks prior to or 48 hours after the time you were with them.

–You attended a large gathering, flew on an airplane, rode a train, etc. where someone in the vicinity recently or subsequently tested positive. The risk in this situation is higher if anyone was unmasked and/or if it was indoors and/or in a small, poorly ventilated space. Avoid these activities if possible.

–Prolonged outdoor contact, unmasked, inconsistently distanced at 6 feet or more, eg outdoor dining.

Not an exposure

–Outdoors, consistently masked and/or distanced from other people at least 6 feet apart

Statistics of Infection

–Incubation period is 2-14 days

–Average time to symptom onset is 5 days

–By 10-11 days, 90% of infected people will have developed symptoms

–Viral load peaks 1-2 days before and after symptom onset—this is when the test is most likely to be accurate

Reasons for Testing

–Required for return to work/school, participation in structured activity, etc.

–Known exposure

–Symptoms:

  • fever
  • cough
  • any new shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
  • chills
  • shaking with chills
  • muscle pain or body aches
  • headache
  • sore throat
  • new loss of taste or smell
  • diarrhea
  • nausea or vomiting
  • congestion or runny nose
  • fatigue

–I do not recommend testing in the absence of symptoms, exposures, or a requirement. 

Timing of Testing

–After a known or possible exposure, the best thing to do is self-isolate ​for 14 days.

–If you develop symptoms, seek testing.

–If you do not develop symptoms, consider testing around day 5-10 and continue to isolate

–Check the turnaround time at your designated testing site.  Results can take anywhere from hours to weeks.  Note that if a result is reported many days after the test date, that result may not reflect real time infection status.  Thus testing may not be useful and 14 day self-isolation is the best course of action.

​-A negative test does NOT ‘clear’ you. Testing can be negative in up to 30% of people who have symptoms, and may be higher in those who are asymptomatic or early in infection. Therefore, you MUST continue to isolate for a full 14 days after a known exposure, even if you test negative. 

Share Your Platform

Hey friends!  I’ve recorded a screen video!  To many of you this may seem no big deal.  But it’s a huge milestone for Luddite me, and who knows when I ever would have tried it if not for Ozan Varol!  Readers of this blog know how much I admire Ozan, a rocket scientist, law professor, all-around benevolent contrarian, and generous sharer of his platform.  …And now you can get a tour of his Inner Circle site from yours truly!

I first found Ozan on my Facebook feed when he wrote about changing people’s minds. It resonated with me immediately. So of course I downloaded his free e-book, signed up for the Weekly Contrarian newsletter, and binge-listened to his Famous Failures podcast. Ozan pointed me to some of my favorite books of 2019, such as Insight by Tasha Eurich and Sex At Dawn by Chris Ryan and Cacilda Jetha.

Throughout 2019 Ozan grew and connected his community of readers.  Christina, Renu, Judith and I participated in the first ever Idea Lab (as they are now known), where three of us each shared a project and we all coached one another through ideas, process, and execution.  Ozan launched the Inner Circle maybe a year ago.  Here readers (I consider us all impending friends) connect around more ideas, projects, challenges, and common interests.  Ozan floats concepts for future blogs, shares resources that spark his curiosity, and generally stimulates thoughtful and wide-ranging collaboration from all over the world.  And oh, my gosh, the people I’m meeting!!

Dr. Karen Shue has recently joined and I really want know better this writer, neuropsychologist, and all around curious being who maintains three websites, see here, here, and here.

Tony Coretto, an apparent modern-day Renaissance man, writes about building the life you want, and he has built quite a life, from what I can tell.

What I appreciate the most about Ozan is how he leads by example.  He grounds his questions in curiosity and openness.  His comments encourage, and also challenge us to broaden our perspectives, as he broadens his own by inviting diverse viewpoints with respect and non-judgment.  There is no shortage of nonconforming views on any given community forum thread.  And yet I never feel animosity or confrontation, not even close.  Opinions are offered, not espoused.  IC folks come to learn, share, commune, and grow, because we see Ozan doing it right along with us.

When Ozan invited me to record the Inner Circle walkthrough video, I had no idea how to do it.  I asked my Facebook friends, and Don came through with Screencast-o-matic.  So user friendly, even I could figure it out in a morning!  It took only three tries, and voila, a viable, extemporaneous tour of a site I love!  And now I have a fun new skill—my horizon is widened and I seek new ventures in which to practice and grow.  Ozan gave such a kind shout out to me and this blog in the walkthrough invitation email.  And now I’m invited to host a community call around a topic of my choice.  Holy cow!  I am so humbled and grateful for it all.

***

I have a mentor at work, who supports me similarly.  So often he has introduced me to other organizational leaders, setting up calls and meetings to share ideas and initiatives.  His introduction affords me some instant ‘street cred’ with people who would not otherwise care to know me.  I don’t take this lightly, and I am beyond appreciative. 

How can I make the most of these most generous opportunities?  How can I be worthy of the possibilities?  It’s not that I feel unworthy; I understand that Ozan and my mentor see real potential in me and want to help me develop it.  I just don’t want to waste a shred of these openhanded gifts.  They lift me.  How can I pay it forward?

What do you do when someone elevates you like this?

***

In these intensely surreal and existentially trying times, people all around me express helplessness.  How can any of us, individually, exert any meaningful agency to change anything for the better when everything everywhere is so colossally out of control?

I believe we can always help.  Each of us occupies a sphere of influence; our attitudes and actions ripple out indirectly many layers beyond.  So, one way I can elevate more people is by sharing my own platform, small as it is (yet).  I used to feel sheepish when much of any post was someone else’s words.  Not so anymore.  When I find pieces that speak to me, that resonate and integrate with my core values and my cause, why not amplify widely? 

Maybe I have some valuable street cred to share, too.