Hello friends! I live!
The blog is now two years old (celebratory post forthcoming). Looking back, I have strayed often from the declared theme of patient-physician relationship and communication. I have yet to figure out my optimum writing practice and discipline. And every day the thing I long for most is to write for fun! *sigh* Life.
If my world were a horse, happily trotting along a winding dirt trail in the Rockies, oblivious to my riding its back, then I would have fallen off multiple times from confusion, inexperience, fear, overreaction, awe, inattention, and impulse. Sometimes I roll a ways down the hill, too. The past two months or so have seen all of these and more. Thankfully, as dust-covered and disoriented as I stand at times, the horse always allows me to remount. At this point I’m about halfway back in the saddle again—one cheek on. The next few posts will document my return to two-buttock riding.
So much inner work done to date, and so much yet to do! And I am infinitely grateful for the dense, strong, and unfailing network of support that surrounds me. 2017 could be my most productive and effective year yet, and I need help organizing. So a couple weeks ago, I scheduled a session with my life coach of 12 years.
Her pre-call questions for me, and my spontaneous answers:
What do I want more of?
Connection, understanding, civil discourse.
To see people being kind to one another.
For people to truly listen to one another and try to understand each other’s points of view.
For us all to hold our shared humanity above all else, and see one another as fellow humans, all trying to make our way through an uncertain life.
Time outside, preferably in Colorado, in the mountains, but pretty much anywhere is good.
To write with purpose, discipline, and impact.
Integration—of everything I do, even the small things—for my Why to show up everywhere I go, with everybody I meet, most of all with my kids—to model the Why for them, in person and out loud.
To read primary literature, writings of the great thinkers and contemplatives, past and present.
Discernment—what is worth my time, contributes to my purpose, vs. what detracts from it?
Focus on what I’m for, rather than what I’m against.
Focus in general—to channel my energy to activities that align most with my central mission. See Distraction below.
What do I want less of?
Rage and seething.
Repression of rage and seething.
Time wasted for lack of discernment.
Distraction. I feel like Doug, the dog from the movie “Up”—Squirrel! It all matters, but I cannot do everything at the same time.
What thoughts are uppermost in my mind these days?
The daily shit show that is our government and how it vexes me (see above, rage and seething)—sooo many squirrels.
I need to do something useful, to help, to contribute.
We are all in this together, we have to get through it together.
This is a test. We can pass, and with flying colors, and only if we work together.
Every time I get angry, sarcastic, etc., I contribute to the negativity and morass. I need to be better.
Why have I so much trouble walking the talk? Why have I not achieved inner peace althef*ingready?
I present thusly to my trusted coach. The process always brings new insights, connections, and openings of mind and heart. I plan to emerge on the other side of 60 minutes with increased clarity, confidence, and drive. I’ll let you know! 😉
Oh yeah, and the Rules of Engagement also live, just taking an unplanned hiatus. More of those to come, also. Like I said, I’m only one cheek back on right now. 😉