The Value of Comradery

I’m having a party!

Well, not really.  I’m inviting colleagues to convene on video in the name of professional community and connection, so it’s almost a party.  It’s also my homework!

These six weeks I get to take Stanford’s inaugural online Physician Well-Being Director Course, along with over a hundred other physician leaders.  What a privilege and pleasure!  I’ve already learned so much, and we’re only one third of the way through.  I may have made a new friend—we bonded over our shared tendency to stress eat, and that we are both using the Noom app to overcome it.  It happened during a breakout session to sample a Comradery Group.

Turns out there is clear evidence that community building, done intentionally and purposefully, promotes clinicians’ overall well-being.  “Well, duh,” you might say (I have).  Why did this have to be studied formally?  But I get it now.  When there is objective evidence for direct benefit and a positive cascade (well physicians tend to have higher engagement, higher patient satisfaction, happier teams, and systems that thrive—relationally as well as financially), healthcare organizations are more likely to invest resources to execute the well-being programs shown to work. 

In a Comradery Group, the objective is more than just venting.  It’s about finding meaning, fostering growth, and supporting one another through empathy, querying, and sometimes even challenging—all in a psychologically safe environment.  Groups meet to discuss particular topics and are admonished to stay on task.  There is usually a facilitator.

I have always found communing with colleagues nourishing—particularly across specialties.  More and more, we toil in silos.  Advancing technology accelerates complexity of both diagnostics and therapeutics at breakneck speed in almost every field.  Everybody can barely keep up with their own work, let alone understand what’s happening in anyone else’s.  And with in-person conferences and other professional gatherings banned for the past year, our sense of community wanes further and faster.  Our disconnection propagates insidiously, and we will all pay in the end, physicians and patients alike.

So what better moment to tend and strengthen our connections?

I have a few colleagues from internal medicine, OB/gyne, ophthalmology, and orthopaedics ready to gather in meaning on Microsoft Teams.  Can’t wait can’t wait!  The first rule of Comradery Group is that what’s said here stays here; holding confidence is key to connection and trust.  We can set other rules at our (first) session.  The homework assignment is only to experience a group once, but my secret hope is that my colleagues will get enough from this meeting to consider doing it again (and again!). 

I’ve proposed some sample topics below.  I’d love to discuss any of them, and I’m sure my friends will suggest others.  Take a look—how could you adapt these questions to your own profession?  How are you and your colleagues at risk for burnout, and how do you imagine Comradery Groups could help?

Here’s something new for the blog:  If you answer one of the questions in the comments, I’ll share my own answer to the same in reply (or a separate post!).  Please also feel free to offer a different question, one that holds meaning and importance to you.

Times are hard and complicated.  We humans are social creatures.  The better we can maintain and strengthen our ties to one another, the less we will suffer—no—the more we will flourish

Onward, friends.  We are all we have.

  1. How has doctoring the past year through a global pandemic impacted your professional and personal outlooks?
  2. What lasting lessons from the past year do you want to keep front and center?
  3. What do you want most from your colleagues in other specialties?
  4. How would you change medical education?  Why?
  5. How have you seen medical culture evolve over your career, for better and/or worse?  How has this impacted your personal experience of your work?
  6. What concrete changes have you made to the way you do things, over the years and the past year?  What do you miss and not, about the way things used to be?
  7. What makes a hard day at work?  An easy day?  A good day?  A bad day?
  8. What is your preferred leadership style, as both a leader and one who is led?
  9. What is the value of DEI initiatives at work?  What are the barriers?  Pitfalls?
  10. What’s foremost on your mind right now for your own well-being?  How are you upholding it?

Pandemic Lesson #1: Flexibility

NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

What have you had to be flexible about this year?  What has this taught you?

It’s not that we cannot make plans anymore.  It’s that we must be willing and able to change them, quickly and effectively, if we want to actually get anything done.  Move all primary care and primary/secondary education online?  Done.  Stop flying?  Okay.  Come back to work and school?  Sure.  Wait no, outbreak, go home again, please?  Fine.  Postpone big vacation 3…6 months… indefinitely…  *sigh*…we can deal.

Many of my patients are actually thriving in the new work from home normal.  Without the constant travel, jetlag, business dinners (the quadruple threat to acid reflux:  late, fatty, large, and full of alcohol), and long commutes, they sleep more and better, spend more time with family, exercise more, and eat healthier.  If all goes well, my executive health job may be obsolete in the next decade, hallelujah! 

Not everybody’s doing well, of course.  60% of the workforce still shows up in person; risk, stress, and burnout are very real, and escalating.  The people who are well are those with choice.  They are the privileged ones.

Most of us still don’t know how the new work life balance will look in the coming years, but we hope to retain and expand the flexibility that has given us some sense of agency and control.  Check out this episode of Hidden Brain to hear a Stanford work from home researcher on implications of this augmented world for all of us. 

What flexibility do you wish for in 2021?

Agency and control in the midst of a global pandemic—how ironic!  Pandemic lesson #2 may be Paradox and Polarities… The last 2020 NaBlo…  Wait for it…

Love Letters for My Soul

Taking a break from COVID, racism, equity and other heavy things this week, my friends.  It’s too much, what with RBG’s recurrent metastatic cancer and John Lewis’s death.  I’ve been glued to my phone and computers all week, reading, digesting, observing, integrating, posting, connecting and conversing.  I had at least three important ideas for the blog, and they all need to marinate longer.

But I still had to write!  I owe letters to three friends, and they can wait.  What needed doing tonight were five love letters to strangers. 

Sometime this spring, while sheltering at home, I discovered More Love Letters.  Their mission is simple:

Deliver hand written letters to people who could use some extra love via snail mail.

People submit nominations for letter recipients, and every month the MLL team selects five to post.  Each recipient’s nominator writes a heartfelt request, and supplies an address.  Letters are requested to be postmarked by the last day of the month (but I bet they’d take some tardy ones, because they are sent with love?).  Tonight I wrote my second ever set of love letters, on washi tape stationery, of course.  I may have more cards and tape than I will use in my lifetime, so I’m more than happy to share!  Maybe next month I will include a blank card and envelope as a gift for the recipient to pass along—I’ll even put a stamp on it!

In this time of tumult and conflict, of heaviness and stress, reaching out to offer some light to others heals me.  They will not know who I am (well, unless they happen to read this post, I guess), and I will not get a card back in reply.  I get to write some encouraging words that might brighten someone’s day.  But I do it for myself as much as for them.

Maybe you could use a mutual pick-me-up, too?  Each one took less than five minutes.  The words came easily, organically, and happily.  “Holding you in light,” “Sending love and support,” “Wishing you everything you need in this crazy time.” Easy peasy, written sincerely–it feels so good.  You don’t have to write to all five nominees—do what moves you.  Maybe you’ll be inspired to also drop a note to your best friend, your colleague who’s challenged, or someone who recently crossed your mind, who’d probably love to know you were thinking of them.

Now is exactly the time to connect, don’t you think?

Oh and I have no financial or other interests in this organization. I just love that they encourage connection and snail mail, two of my favorite things.