Staying In the Game

Posted on November 1, 2026 by Catherine Cheng, MD

You guys, it’s possible I can jump farther than I am tall!

I’m only 5’2″, so it’s really not that far, but I’m excited! I can make it from one end of the turf to the other at Ethos, Coach Mason and I estimate 30 feet, in about 5 jumps. Next week I will find a tape measure–OH that will be fun! I’ll see how far I can actually jump, and then have something to maybe work on in the coming year!

This block we are training deadlift again, and next week I will try for 200# x 4 on the trap bar. Friend Jerry the musician/filmmaker/NGO fundraiser and all around lovely human has been my workout buddy these last two weeks and we plan to achieve this goal together!

One movement I may stop pushing for a while is the back squat. My knees tell me they don’t want to lift more than my body weight from a very low position, and I’m okay with that. Glad they’re voicing their opposition. I am confident my coaches and I can find a modification that allows me to continue progressing and also prevent injury.

Simon Sinek wrote in Start With Why, “When you compete against everyone else, no one wants to help you. But when you compete against yourself, everyone wants to help you.” YES! His book The Infinite Game came to mind today as I considered my broad jump–how much better could I still get at this age? How much longer can I keep jumping like this? In finite games the goal is to win and end the game. Infinite games by definition never end; there is no ‘winner’. I’ve written about the book before as its tenets apply to organizations and leadership. But the idea of ‘staying in the game of life’ hit me today. He briefly discusses health practices such as diet and exercise in both SWW and TIG, using them as examples of actions (leading indicators) that stem from a commitment (our [just] cause) and reliably move us toward our ultimate goals.

So what is the goal, the objective, in the game of life or any infinite game, he asks? It is to stay in the game and keep playing as long as possible. To me this means maintaining and optimizing self-efficacy, autonomy, and vitality. It means fueling, training, resting, connecting, and thriving in a way that is stable, strong, flexible, agile, and resilient for as long as we can, with a mindset of allostasis (see Brad Stulberg’s books Master of Change and The Way of Excellence below).

Sinek’s book doesn’t discuss The Infinite Game in terms of individual health or longevity, but I think the concept still applies. What do we need to stay healthy and thrive with age?

Can we translate this mindset from business to health? My health is a just cause when it’s not only for my own sake. I will be the best mom, doctor, daughter, spouse, and friend if I am well, body, mind, and spirit. I do it to maximize my contribution in this lifetime. It doesn’t matter how far anyone else jumps, or how much anyone else lifts. That’s none of my business. I just want to show up and be my best self as often as possible. I need to recognize real limitations when they occur and pivot when necessary, navigating ever forward, open always to novel paths. And when my friends want to do the same, I’m right there on their sidelines, cheering loud and proud for them, just as they do for me.

I’m also reminded of Brad Stulberg’s excellent work, which he shares generously on Instagram:

Focus on effort and cultivate curiosity. Get good help when we need it. Adapt to changing conditions, strive healthily and reasonably. I confess I have not yet listened to The Way of Excellence, but I feel confident recommending it because I know Brad’s work and he engages his audience with grace, humility, and generosity. Maybe I will finally listen this month, in time to dedicate an entire post to it!

I just love when concepts from multiple sources intersect and integrate, inflluencing and validating my own lived experience, encouraging me to keep looking, thinking, wondering, asking, and sharing.

How are you competing with yourself, striving to make healthy progress in meaningful ways to you? What concepts, practices, and people hold you up along the way?
What infinite games do you play?

Whatcha Doin’ Lately?

Posted on June 21, 2026 by Catherine Cheng, MD

Summer officially began today, around 4am Eastern Time. It’s Father’s Day.
The days get shorter in the Northern Hemisphere starting now and for the next six months.
Nature’s cycles march onward.
Have I appreciated and reveled in this season so far? I think yes. How ’bout you?

No burning questions or popping epiphanies tonight, friends. Just a wonderful sense of gratitude and contentment at life. Looking, listening, and feeling around me, it’s no wonder.

The family is well overall. No acute or severe health crises, relationships are stable–what more do we need, really? Surviving major challenges and threats in both of these realms makes one appreciate when things are quiet, stable, and well.

Daughter is home, which means I’m spending more time in the ‘woods’ by the house. That means more photos for the blog, more bug bites, and learning about thrips–tiny, kiwi hair-sized bugs that live on the mulberries that grow in the neighborhood.

I posted about it on Insta the other day. 🙂

Daughter and I are also taking a pottery class together–tomorrow will be the third of five classes. I shake my head at the contrast: I last touched clay 26 years ago, before I had kids, over half my life ago. I can’t remember how long I did it, but I was there at all hours of the day and night and produced over 400 pieces. I have about four pots to show for it so far this time, and it’s been harder than I anticipated to recall the skills. Maybe I’ll just have to keep going! We still use many of the bowls I made back in 2000; hoping I can add some nice ones to the collection in 2026.

I’m very proud of the progress I’m making in the gym. 285# barbell hip thrust, 195# trap bar dead lift, and 145# barbell back squat, each for at least four reps, are my favorite accomplishments so far this year. I’m still working toward that one, good, unassisted pull up by Christmas–we shall see! And if not by Christmas or not ever, it’s okay! I can still continue to show up and practice. I finally felt worthy of adding another sticker to my water bottle:

Water bottle sticker: “Shhh… I’m doing math” next to a pile of barbell weight plates

Book writing enters the sixth month of consistent work, wow. What a labor of love, oh my gosh. It’s very much tied to my time at Ethos; my mind is clear and my mood elevated after a challenging workout surrounded by friends. The co-working space is open, bright, and also full of people I love. It’s the perfect setting to do my best reflecting and writing, and insights occur to me on each page that I don’t think would emerge any other way. I wonder if this is why I feel less driven to journal, although jar smile and snail mail writing continue at a regular, rewarding, and joyous pace. There is just something about writing that frees my soul… I wish for everybody to find something in life that feels this great!

What’s got your attention this season, friends? How does the chaos and uncertainty in our world affect you? I reflect on my privilege a lot lately, but don’t feel moved to write deeply about it here… yet. Our perspectives determine our perceptions, which influence or determine our beliefs, and thus our actions and thus our relationships, and thus our lives. So if we wish to live magnanimously, empathetically, generously, informedly, and understandingly, we must broaden our perspectives. Easier said than done, and almost always better with kind and direct guidance from others. Maybe more on this another day.

Life feels smooth and calm at the moment. I know it will not always be this way. So I pay attention and store up the positive energy. When harder times hit later, I will look back and know that I knew it and appreciated it when things were good, and that will hold me up until things are good again. Peace, friends. It’s what I wish for us all.

What Holds You Up?

Posted on May 31, 2026 by Catherine Cheng, MD

Back wall at a nail spa around 1500 N.Milwaukee in Chicago–no idea the name of the place!

How are you, my friends?

So many people struggle today. Whether it’s financial, medical, emotional, relational, or existential, life is just hard right now. It’s palpable; wellness can feel fragile and tenuous. Uncertainty, risk, agitation, and isolation loom heavily on more people’s consciousness than I have ever noticed in the past.

Even in my own bubble of prosperity and privilege, lately I notice stark and reactive vacillations in mood and serenity with smaller and smaller adversities. I think often of Strauss and Howe’s The Fourth Turning, and wonder when this individualist, revolutionary, destructive unraveling/crisis turning will finally end and we can enter the high that follows. Will it be in my lifetime? What do I do in the interim?

Connect, that’s what.

Recently TM and I picked up our friendship again after about 18 years. Our kids were friends in preschool and then our lives diverged, though we stayed very loosely connected via Facebook. Recently they commented on my post and now we’ve had two very long and deep conversations in the past month. I live for these connections! Today they helped me name an idea I have grappled with as the tension/tandem between reform and revolution. I prefer the former in general, and increasingly realize the need for and utility of the latter. In the end we agreed that both serve a purpose, and we wish for humans to be more thoughtful about how we do both. We have so much more to catch up on and discuss–our next date may be to a ‘silent book club’ at a lesbian speakeasy, woohoooooo!!

So much to attend to, everything that demands our attention, much of which we cannot even influence, let alone control. So what’s left? Our relationships, of course. Everything related to my direct connections with other humans holds me up. Find my short but mighty list below. What’s yours?

Finding, protecting, and strengthening what holds us up is not just about our own health and well-being. It’s about what we do with that well-being, when we have the bandwidth and wherewithal. Societal unravelling and crisis are inevitable, perhaps, at least according to some. But if the cycle persists, then highs and awakenings also come around, and I am convinced that these are driven strongly by those who value, practice, and lead us all in connection, who maintain our bridges across difference and conflict, who can always see our shared humanity and work to preserve it in all ways great and small. I strive to be this force of nature in this lifetime, and I thank my lucky stars every day for others I know who do the same.

Sorenettes
After our lovely discussion on the Crowns Trilogy by Nichola Tyche, my friends agreed to listen to Sierra Simon’s Priest Collection next. We met this past week and delved right in: Faith, religion, rigid social norms and the harm they do, desire, pleasure, carnality and spirituality, community, integrity, parenting, daughtering, and the future we wish and leave for our kids. I had just published my post on Never After by Alexis Hall, and now we will discuss this love story at our next meeting. Donna nailed it when she described the value of these books: They make us both feel and think deeply. They teach us more about ourselves than we knew before consuming them. They help us explore our beliefs, attitudes, assumptions, and world views. And they give us a great excuse to gather and commune.

Ethos
I lifted 195# with the trap bar this week, friends, and it felt strong and solid. I am confident I will break 200# and then some this year–whenever we do a straight 20X0 tempo again. My pull ups continue to improve also, though I am still sore for a few days after each workout. If I can get myself to practice at least once a week, I could likely get to one, good, unassisted pull up by Christmas. It’s all up to me.
But I could never do it without my people. The energy at Ethos simply makes us all better. We cheer and high five each other to our stronger, faster, healthier selves.
After class I head to the Den to write. I have made five months of steady progress on Book, and the final project continues to emerge and form in good time. I am so excited–after eleven years of blogging, my writing may yet get published in print.

Kids Home
I have adult children now, omg.
I told Daughter about the Sorenettes’ conversation, we ended up recording her response and sharing with my friends, who then responded with yet more connection and wonder. I love having an anthropologist kid! Every day we bond over esoteric sociopolitical theory and observation, as well as cat and cooking videos.
Son travels these few weeks, then comes home for a summer internship. It will be the first time he’s lived at home for more than two weeks at a time since starting college in 2022. That’s a mindbender. I cannot wait and will strive to self-regulate, to not smother him. I look forward to finding something to do that we both enjoy and brings us together.

Friends Coming to Town
Two people dear to me arrive in Chicago this week, and I will spend quality time with each. I would not miss the opportunity to gather and soak up their presence, light, and love. How did I get this lucky, to know so many amazing humans in one lifetime? And to have the chance to stay connected despite distance, stress, and all the trevails of life in our chaotic world? It’s just too good, and communion with them–just the anticipation of it–holds me up high.

Paper Projects
My desktop stationery stash has grown continually since National Card and Letter Writing Month started April 1. Every personal envelope I mail or deliver is now lined with pretty paper–so fancy! And this weekend I was reminded of the puffy paper stars origami I learned from our babysitter years ago–how did I not think to pour some into every Jar of Smiles from the beginning? I wrote a new jar for one of my friends coming this week and scattered some stars inside. It’s fun and aesthetically pleasing.
I spent last weekend also creating three sizes of origami booklets, some that fit inside smile jars, others meant to stash in pockets or bookbags. Slightly longer messages of encouragement, or places for friends to place their own thoughts and reflections.
I’ll continue to compose little love notes, cards and letters, and all forms of personal, handwritten messages to as many people as possible, for as long as I am able. I may never use all of the cardstock, stationery, tape, and paraphernalia I have accumulated over a lifetime of paper fetish, but I will die trying. And if I can bring some love, joy, beauty, and connection along the way, all the better.