Tag Archives: Ethos Training Systems Chicago

What Holds You Up?

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Back wall at a nail spa around 1500 N.Milwaukee in Chicago–no idea the name of the place!

How are you, my friends?

So many people struggle today. Whether it’s financial, medical, emotional, relational, or existential, life is just hard right now. It’s palpable; wellness can feel fragile and tenuous. Uncertainty, risk, agitation, and isolation loom heavily on more people’s consciousness than I have ever noticed in the past.

Even in my own bubble of prosperity and privilege, lately I notice stark and reactive vacillations in mood and serenity with smaller and smaller adversities. I think often of Strauss and Howe’s The Fourth Turning, and wonder when this individualist, revolutionary, destructive unraveling/crisis turning will finally end and we can enter the high that follows. Will it be in my lifetime? What do I do in the interim?

Connect, that’s what.

Recently TM and I picked up our friendship again after about 18 years. Our kids were friends in preschool and then our lives diverged, though we stayed very loosely connected via Facebook. Recently they commented on my post and now we’ve had two very long and deep conversations in the past month. I live for these connections! Today they helped me name an idea I have grappled with as the tension/tandem between reform and revolution. I prefer the former in general, and increasingly realize the need for and utility of the latter. In the end we agreed that both serve a purpose, and we wish for humans to be more thoughtful about how we do both. We have so much more to catch up on and discuss–our next date may be to a ‘silent book club’ at a lesbian speakeasy, woohoooooo!!

So much to attend to, everything that demands our attention, much of which we cannot even influence, let alone control. So what’s left? Our relationships, of course. Everything related to my direct connections with other humans holds me up. Find my short but mighty list below. What’s yours?

Finding, protecting, and strengthening what holds us up is not just about our own health and well-being. It’s about what we do with that well-being, when we have the bandwidth and wherewithal. Societal unravelling and crisis are inevitable, perhaps, at least according to some. But if the cycle persists, then highs and awakenings also come around, and I am convinced that these are driven strongly by those who value, practice, and lead us all in connection, who maintain our bridges across difference and conflict, who can always see our shared humanity and work to preserve it in all ways great and small. I strive to be this force of nature in this lifetime, and I thank my lucky stars every day for others I know who do the same.

Sorenettes
After our lovely discussion on the Crowns Trilogy by Nichola Tyche, my friends agreed to listen to Sierra Simon’s Priest Collection next. We met this past week and delved right in: Faith, religion, rigid social norms and the harm they do, desire, pleasure, carnality and spirituality, community, integrity, parenting, daughtering, and the future we wish and leave for our kids. I had just published my post on Never After by Alexis Hall, and now we will discuss this love story at our next meeting. Donna nailed it when she described the value of these books: They make us both feel and think deeply. They teach us more about ourselves than we knew before consuming them. They help us explore our beliefs, attitudes, assumptions, and world views. And they give us a great excuse to gather and commune.

Ethos
I lifted 195# with the trap bar this week, friends, and it felt strong and solid. I am confident I will break 200# and then some this year–whenever we do a straight 20X0 tempo again. My pull ups continue to improve also, though I am still sore for a few days after each workout. If I can get myself to practice at least once a week, I could likely get to one, good, unassisted pull up by Christmas. It’s all up to me.
But I could never do it without my people. The energy at Ethos simply makes us all better. We cheer and high five each other to our stronger, faster, healthier selves.
After class I head to the Den to write. I have made five months of steady progress on Book, and the final project continues to emerge and form in good time. I am so excited–after eleven years of blogging, my writing may yet get published in print.

Kids Home
I have adult children now, omg.
I told Daughter about the Sorenettes’ conversation, we ended up recording her response and sharing with my friends, who then responded with yet more connection and wonder. I love having an anthropologist kid! Every day we bond over esoteric sociopolitical theory and observation, as well as cat and cooking videos.
Son travels these few weeks, then comes home for a summer internship. It will be the first time he’s lived at home for more than two weeks at a time since starting college in 2022. That’s a mindbender. I cannot wait and will strive to self-regulate, to not smother him. I look forward to finding something to do that we both enjoy and brings us together.

Friends Coming to Town
Two people dear to me arrive in Chicago this week, and I will spend quality time with each. I would not miss the opportunity to gather and soak up their presence, light, and love. How did I get this lucky, to know so many amazing humans in one lifetime? And to have the chance to stay connected despite distance, stress, and all the trevails of life in our chaotic world? It’s just too good, and communion with them–just the anticipation of it–holds me up high.

Paper Projects
My desktop stationery stash has grown continually since National Card and Letter Writing Month started April 1. Every personal envelope I mail or deliver is now lined with pretty paper–so fancy! And this weekend I was reminded of the puffy paper stars origami I learned from our babysitter years ago–how did I not think to pour some into every Jar of Smiles from the beginning? I wrote a new jar for one of my friends coming this week and scattered some stars inside. It’s fun and aesthetically pleasing.
I spent last weekend also creating three sizes of origami booklets, some that fit inside smile jars, others meant to stash in pockets or bookbags. Slightly longer messages of encouragement, or places for friends to place their own thoughts and reflections.
I’ll continue to compose little love notes, cards and letters, and all forms of personal, handwritten messages to as many people as possible, for as long as I am able. I may never use all of the cardstock, stationery, tape, and paraphernalia I have accumulated over a lifetime of paper fetish, but I will die trying. And if I can bring some love, joy, beauty, and connection along the way, all the better.

Lever Arms, Body Mass, Power, and Leadership

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First seen on a social media post by Simon Sinek; please let me know whom to credit!

What makes you an asset to the team? How do you know? How does your leader know?
Does your leader know?

Friend Mark came with me to Ethos last weekend for the last conditioning workout of the block. We pulled the skiers and rowers side by side for 200-300m or 90 seconds, whichever came first, among other movements. No matter how fast I pulled, he still finished at least twenty to thirty seconds before me. Pushing the 215# sleds down and back on the turf, you’d think his weighed almost nothing the way he zipped along, compared to my Sisyphian effort. But I didn’t feel too bad about myself. I’m 5’2″ and 145#; he’s got at least a foot and 60# on me, I’m sure. I marveled briefly at our juxtaposition and just reveled in the fun of having my friend with me in one of my favorite places.

Today, back on the skier and rower, I thought again about our physical differential while pulling, varying my method between leading with legs, back, and arms. I wondered if I’d be an asset or a liability on a rowing team? Is it generally advantageous for rowers to be tall, so they get more distance per pull from their longer lever arms and leg extensions? Could I ever find a rowing method that could compensate for my much shorter limbs? Does my lower body mass give the team any advantage, and if so would it make up for the limb length deficit? How could I maximize my power to contribute? What are the ideal physics of a heterogeneous crew habitus? How could this team win consistently?

It all got me thinking about leadership, naturally.

How do we all contribute from our strengths? How do our leaders identify our strengths and amplify them, then place us in positions of complement and synergy for the good of all?

This requires more attention, thought, intent, creativity, and work than most leaders consider to be their jobs, no? It requires relationship. I must know you to find your true strengths; I must know the whole team to see how we all fit together, where we grind and where we glide. When I do this, you are much more likely to feel seen and valued. I can enlist each person to identify not just their own strengths but one another’s. Proactively synergizing our respective gifts can bond the team in mutual respect and collaboration. My effort, then, is worth the rewards in loyalty and willingness to sacrifice, because we all feel in it together.

Leaders who are willing to do this cultivate cohesive teams who can withstand adversity with confidence and grit. We can call on one another’s superpowers with humility and collegiality, knowing we shine brightest when we all shine together, rather than always trying to outshine one another.

Honesty and transparency stand out as core values here. If I really wanted to row and understood why that would not serve my team, if I were told kindly how I could contribute meaningfully in other ways that also align with my strengths, I’d be much more willing to pivot and still participate fully. That would require my team leader to take time and energy to communicate clearly and completely. I think this is not too much to ask. We should expect it, train it, and hold leaders accountable for it with specific, relevant, and regular feedback.

If the default assumption is that everyone has a worthwhile contribution to make regardless of limb length, body mass or other attribute, and leaders actively help team members identify and amplify their strengths, then that contribution will manifest from each and all of us fully and for the greatest good.
What a wonderful exercise on possibility, no?

No Longer Stupid, Not Yet Infirm: Make Every Pull Count

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Reflections on turning 52, yay!

I’ gotta say, I kinda killed it at the gym yesterday. It’s because Jacob was coaching, and because it was the third week of the block and I had avoided death the prior two Saturdays–that does wonders for confidence! Band rotations, bike, rope waves (I hate ropes), butterfly sit ups, mountain climbers, rower and SkiErg–woohooooo!

Remember when I wrote about how much I love driving curvy roads in the mountains? It’s the challenge of hugging that perfect tangent, timing the brake and acceleration just right–such a thrill! I feel the same way about rowing and skiing at the gym. Every pull on the machine is a chance to train that movement just a little better. What proportion of rowing power comes from hip and knee extension versus lat pull? When during the stroke is best to extend the back, if at all? How much hinge and knee flexion is optimal on that ski? If I practice this well and I ever get on The Price Is Right, will I have an advantage spinning that big wheel? We train functional movements, after all!

It’s a practice in presence. When I focus on each pull of the rower or SkiErg, I’m almost one with the machine, flowing in real time, in fluid motion. It borders on meditative, honestly. Each pull, each session feels a little more fluid, a little more powerful, efficient, and rewarding. Where else can I apply this mindset? On the slackboard. For two months now I have set the goal of spending five minutes each work day balancing on a two inch wide nylon strap that spans the length of a skateboard-shaped wooden plank. I’m already good on both long and round boards and a Bosu, but this is a whole new challenge. The asymmetry between left and right, which I sense only somewhat doing single leg movements in the gym, amplifies exponentially on the slack line. But in fifteen minutes or less per week, in eight weeks, I have made noticeable improvements in both physical balance and mental focus.

What fantastic opportunities, these training modalities, to continue growing body, mind, and spirit at this age! My nest is about to empty. I have things yet to do and plenty of runway still to do them, if I attend to what matters:

5 Domains: Sleep, Exercise, Nutrition, Stress Management, and Relationships.
3 Fundamental Skills: Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation, and Effective Communication.
5 Attributes of physical, mental, emotional, and relational fitness: Stable, Strong, Flexible, Agile, and Resilient.

Life is crazy fun when we keep learning and growing, making new friends, finding love and connection around every corner.

Love multiplies when offered, received, reflected, and amplified. I experience it every day and never take it for granted. There are also areas where I could love better; every day is another chance to practice that, too.

Who knows how long we each have on this earth, really? Regardless, I still think of every life as having infinite possibilities–HA! I wrote that post on my birthday three years ago! We just never know what encounters will change our lives for the better, set us on a path of even deeper, brighter, tighter, and more inclusive love. Even through pain and struggle, there can always be light on the other side.

No longer stupid, yes… Maybe for a decade or so now?
Not yet infirm, RAH! Not for many more years, if I can help it!

Make every pull, every encounter, every relationship, every expression, every breath count, my friends!

Bring What Ya Got. Wow, I wrote that one over ten years ago. I got the advice in 1987, and it’s just as relevant for me at 52 as it was at 14, maybe even more so, as what I’ ‘got’ right now is definitely not what I had then! OH that makes me laugh in so many different ways, it’s just too good.

Daughter and I hit the road tomorrow, friends. I’ gotta pack! I have an idea what I may write here next week, and it could all change multiple times between now and then–life! Onward in love, light, peace, and snacks!