How are you, my friends?

So many people struggle today. Whether it’s financial, medical, emotional, relational, or existential, life is just hard right now. It’s palpable; wellness can feel fragile and tenuous. Uncertainty, risk, agitation, and isolation loom heavily on more people’s consciousness than I have ever noticed in the past.

Even in my own bubble of prosperity and privilege, lately I notice stark and reactive vacillations in mood and serenity with smaller and smaller adversities. I think often of Strauss and Howe’s The Fourth Turning, and wonder when this individualist, revolutionary, destructive unraveling/crisis turning will finally end and we can enter the high that follows. Will it be in my lifetime? What do I do in the interim?

Connect, that’s what.

Recently TM and I picked up our friendship again after about 18 years. Our kids were friends in preschool and then our lives diverged, though we stayed very loosely connected via Facebook. Recently they commented on my post and now we’ve had two very long and deep conversations in the past month. I live for these connections! Today they helped me name an idea I have grappled with as the tension/tandem between reform and revolution. I prefer the former in general, and increasingly realize the need for and utility of the latter. In the end we agreed that both serve a purpose, and we wish for humans to be more thoughtful about how we do both. We have so much more to catch up on and discuss–our next date may be to a ‘silent book club’ at a lesbian speakeasy, woohoooooo!!

So much to attend to, everything that demands our attention, much of which we cannot even influence, let alone control. So what’s left? Our relationships, of course. Everything related to my direct connections with other humans holds me up. Find my short but mighty list below. What’s yours?

Finding, protecting, and strengthening what holds us up is not just about our own health and well-being. It’s about what we do with that well-being, when we have the bandwidth and wherewithal. Societal unravelling and crisis are inevitable, perhaps, at least according to some. But if the cycle persists, then highs and awakenings also come around, and I am convinced that these are driven strongly by those who value, practice, and lead us all in connection, who maintain our bridges across difference and conflict, who can always see our shared humanity and work to preserve it in all ways great and small. I strive to be this force of nature in this lifetime, and I thank my lucky stars every day for others I know who do the same.

Sorenettes
After our lovely discussion on the Crowns Trilogy by Nichola Tyche, my friends agreed to listen to Sierra Simon’s Priest Collection next. We met this past week and delved right in: Faith, religion, rigid social norms and the harm they do, desire, pleasure, carnality and spirituality, community, integrity, parenting, daughtering, and the future we wish and leave for our kids. I had just published my post on Never After by Alexis Hall, and now we will discuss this love story at our next meeting. Donna nailed it when she described the value of these books: They make us both feel and think deeply. They teach us more about ourselves than we knew before consuming them. They help us explore our beliefs, attitudes, assumptions, and world views. And they give us a great excuse to gather and commune.

Ethos
I lifted 195# with the trap bar this week, friends, and it felt strong and solid. I am confident I will break 200# and then some this year–whenever we do a straight 20X0 tempo again. My pull ups continue to improve also, though I am still sore for a few days after each workout. If I can get myself to practice at least once a week, I could likely get to one, good, unassisted pull up by Christmas. It’s all up to me.
But I could never do it without my people. The energy at Ethos simply makes us all better. We cheer and high five each other to our stronger, faster, healthier selves.
After class I head to the Den to write. I have made five months of steady progress on Book, and the final project continues to emerge and form in good time. I am so excited–after eleven years of blogging, my writing may yet get published in print.

Kids Home
I have adult children now, omg.
I told Daughter about the Sorenettes’ conversation, we ended up recording her response and sharing with my friends, who then responded with yet more connection and wonder. I love having an anthropologist kid! Every day we bond over esoteric sociopolitical theory and observation, as well as cat and cooking videos.
Son travels these few weeks, then comes home for a summer internship. It will be the first time he’s lived at home for more than two weeks at a time since starting college in 2022. That’s a mindbender. I cannot wait and will strive to self-regulate, to not smother him. I look forward to finding something to do that we both enjoy and brings us together.

Friends Coming to Town
Two people dear to me arrive in Chicago this week, and I will spend quality time with each. I would not miss the opportunity to gather and soak up their presence, light, and love. How did I get this lucky, to know so many amazing humans in one lifetime? And to have the chance to stay connected despite distance, stress, and all the trevails of life in our chaotic world? It’s just too good, and communion with them–just the anticipation of it–holds me up high.

Paper Projects
My desktop stationery stash has grown continually since National Card and Letter Writing Month started April 1. Every personal envelope I mail or deliver is now lined with pretty paper–so fancy! And this weekend I was reminded of the puffy paper stars origami I learned from our babysitter years ago–how did I not think to pour some into every Jar of Smiles from the beginning? I wrote a new jar for one of my friends coming this week and scattered some stars inside. It’s fun and aesthetically pleasing.
I spent last weekend also creating three sizes of origami booklets, some that fit inside smile jars, others meant to stash in pockets or bookbags. Slightly longer messages of encouragement, or places for friends to place their own thoughts and reflections.
I’ll continue to compose little love notes, cards and letters, and all forms of personal, handwritten messages to as many people as possible, for as long as I am able. I may never use all of the cardstock, stationery, tape, and paraphernalia I have accumulated over a lifetime of paper fetish, but I will die trying. And if I can bring some love, joy, beauty, and connection along the way, all the better.