How fascinating.

How are we feeling today? Am I the only one who finds it hard to describe? That’s disconcerting, as I can usually find the exact words I want to express anything. I realized by this evening that it’s not just emotions I feel; it’s not just physical sensations. It’s energies, not just one but multiple. So let’s see if I can articulate any of it well enough that anyone can relate? Here we go:

Existential
Deep, at one’s core, relating to one’s existence altogether. Donald Trump’s rhetoric is one of dehumanization. He compares people who oppose him to animals, refers to humans as objects, receptacles for bullets and things to grab. He incites deep seated fears and resentment within and among myriad groups, which has erupted in sudden and severe violence enough times to make us all fear for our very lives. It’s fight or flight–survival threat alertness energy. It’s his energy–agitated and tense–that resonates with and amplifies the like in us all and divides us with the unmitigated force of the Colorado River if someone bombed the Hoover Dam. I wonder how high his supporters’ stress hormones were before he won, as he convinced so many that their lives as they know them would end lest he rise to power? I know mine is markedly higher now afterward. This is sympathetic stress in action–in both advocates and the resistance, for existentially divergent and convergent reasons–fear of one another.

Lymphatic
‘Pale, flabby, sluggish.’ Extruded fluid from body tissues collects in the lymphatic system and returns to circulation at the heart. But it does not flow in a steady, pulsatile rhythm like blood in vessels. It meanders, passing through various filters (lymph nodes, spleen) where the complex work of the immune system defends us against pathogens. It’s like a vast network of languid rivers and tributaries, dense with waters that can both sustain and harm us. I feel this energy today–slow, almost listless, though purposeful. It feels like a compensatory response to the agitation of existential threat, a forced slowing to maintain function and not run around chasing my tail in futile worry and catastrophization. It feels like a conserving energy, feeding a reserve for future deployment. I have wanted to defy it these few days, to rev and run. Now I think I will listen and heed.

Fierce
Oooh, but there is a rumble. That clarity and conviction I mentioned at the beginning of yesterday’s post smolders and growls in the deep of my soul. Very early yesterday I thought with Bring It energy, “Well SHIT, now I really have to walk this talk of connection across division and relational leadership.” Tonight, while that commitment strengthens, another familiar and recently dormant energy arises–that of advocacy. Solidarity, shoulder to shoulder, rising, force of nature, powerful energy. And let me be clear: It is power to, not power over. It is non-adversarial change agency energy, though its vector opposes another. Think matriarchal elephant moving felled tree trunk for the herd to pass, not charging bull rhino.

OH I’m so glad I embarked on this verbal exploration tonight! So tell me, does it speak to you? I’m curious how it lands on those who voted for him.

There is much to consider in the coming days, months, and years… generations. How will we harness, expend, and renew the energies that sustain us and our just causes? How will we conserve our energies for full mission propulsion, rather than wasting any on unnecessary and counterproductive friction? How can we marry humility, generosity, and kindness with fierceness, conviction, and intensity? This middle space of integration–the liminal margin where infinite possibility lives–this is where I intend to root down.

I Hold the Energies for Us that help us engage in accordance with our values, our strengths, our gifts, and our aspirations.

I Hold the Energies for Us that resist mutual alienation and destruction.

I Hold the Energies for Us that allow our best inner natures to emerge and shine, for the benefit and advancement of all.

That’s enough for now, my friends. May you know your own energies and how they serve you, tonight and going forward. See you here tomorrow.