“… casting ourselves into the catastrophic imagined future… not living in the now…”

Kasey’s insight from yesterday, recalled piecemeal here, sticks with me today: Such a wise observation and reminder of human nature. We survive as a species because we are wired to see threat and react instinctively. That instinct is the sympathetic ‘fight or flight’ response: elevated heart rate, elevated blood pressure, dilated pupils, elevated blood sugar. Physiologically it’s meant to last seconds to minutes–escape, conquer, or die. In the world humans have built for ourselves today, we may live in this short-term-designed survival response for decades. So it becomes necessary for modern H. sapiens to develop voluntary physiologic regulatory mechanisms to not just survive, but thrive, even and especially in times of great threat, real or perceived.

Long time readers of this blog may recall that I took about six months off in 2021. My last post before that period was Strategies to Get Through–the reminder to myself for how I’d survive whatever was to come. And I had to do more than survive, because others depended on me to function at my best. It was my first blog description of what many now know as my mantra, ODOMOBaaT: One Day, One Moment, One Breath at a Time.

I forgot to mention last night that my day started off so well because I messaged with the lovely Troy. He asked me how I was.

Me: I’m ok. Trying to figure out the way I want to be and what I want to do…
Troy: What if there is no figuring out? You already know. (He goes on to describe his breath work practice that keeps him grounded in himself)
[Presence. Patience.]
Me: Yes you are right, of course. I’ve been being and doing exactly what I’m meant to—I know it. I just feel more urgency and threat now. Thank you for helping me recognize it better. I have been breathing. Did I ever show you my ring that says ‘one breath’? I got it made (during that time in 2021)…
[How am I so lucky to know so many amazing people?]

Right now, one week out from the election, it’s too much to ask people to put down or let go their grief and despair. We all need time. I continue to marvel at the utterly unanticipated reaction I’ve had in the last 7 days, ‘barely a breath’ since the election, as Donna so eloquently reminded me. So I hold patience for myself and all of us, to process, to be. And so many of us have stressors much more salient and immediate than the election! We will all find our way, all in our own time. We must be gentle and patient with ourselves and one another. This is especially true for the less distressed of us to hold for the most distraught. We all know in our thinking minds that it will not feel like this forever. But we cannot make anyone’s feeling mind not feel. All we can do is be with, hold with, and shepard through. If we live long enough, we will all take turns holding and being held.

So tonight I breathe with one of the grounding questions from the Strategies post:

Are We Okay Right Now?
Previously, in life-threatening situations when I was stunned and dumbfounded and also knew I had to hold it together for others, this was the question that got me unstuck.  Obviously we are not totally ‘okay’ if it’s a crisis.  But when I compare current state, right this minute, to worst case scenario (which could happen, hence the crisis) and we are not there yet, then I can take a breath, regain my wits, and take the next necessary step.

Whatever catastrophe(s) any of us imagines for our future, we are not there yet.

I Hold Patience for Us tonight to pull ourselves out of catastrophization–eventually, eventually, eventually.
I breathe deeply, slowly. I attune to the supple yet strong elasticity of chest and abdomen, the profound adaptiveness of the body, and how it reflects the same qualities of the mind. We are stable, strong, flexible, agile, and resilient. We are human.

One breath at a time, friends.