Which fifteen years of your life are particularly meaningful, memorable, or important to you?

I have practiced medicine for 26 years now, 15 of them at my current place (nice mug, isn’t it?). A handful of patients have been with me since I started here. I met them in their 50s, and now they are all Medicare age. We’ve been through some stuff together. In that same time, I have aged from 36 to 51. Reflecting on last night’s post, it occurred to me to compare my fifteen years to each of theirs, a juxtaposition of life stages in real time. Then I thought about my kids’ fifteen years: 6 to 21, and 2 to 17. Even the few years separating their ages feels like a significant delta, which surprised me and also not.

It’s a reflection on change, growth, evolution, and relationship.

I wrote last week that I feel more connected to people now than ever; this week I am positively swimming in oxytocin. The three friends who met one another last week on Zoom and I are still reflecting on our gathering and I, for one, marvel with glee at the connections we made so easily and deeply. I have delivered more jar smiles to friends, sparking conversations and smiles for them and me both. When I think of my longest known patients and how well we know each other, how easily we navigate new issues and shared decision making, I feel loyal, peaceful, protective, and grateful.

The past fifteen years have been dense and intense, full of everything. Lots of disruption (including but not limited to politics and pandemic), and also steadfast stability and anchored strength. I think my most important learnings are not taking anything or anyone for granted and the value and benefits of mindfulness. Self-compassion, non-judgment, and deep, unwavering curiosity also emerge as foundation practices; they move me closer to that inner peace that I want to live and die with. Fifteen years’ perspective sharply clarifies a particular segment of my journey in mind, body, spirit, relationships, and world view.

Looking ahead feels no less profound. Between now and 66, barring any traumas or crises, I wish for us all continued growth, evolution, and connection. Changes in our social fabric feel accelerated and chaotic, uncertain and even threatening. I still submit that we always get to choose our response: mindset, energy expenditure, agency application. We can make the most of whatever time we are given; we create our own experiences to a large degree. Our subjective sense of control (mostly an illusion) and agency (too often underestimated) matter moment to moment and thus year to year, decade to decade.
A5R: Attune, Attend, Assess, Adjust, Adapt, Repeat. Forgive my redundance–it just keeps coming up. So I’ll let it. It’s integrating. Nice. I think that’s how it should be.