“I don’t want to hold you back.”
“I don’t want to leave you behind.”
“I want you to go faster.”
“I don’t want to miss on life.”

The Mallon Writers have convened regularly for about five months now. Joan and I were the only ones on screen last night, but we held Sara, Gabbs, JD, Suzi, and others in our hearts and minds. Joan provided visual prompts and shared with the group via email afterward, so whoever had time to participate could send their responses. Sara chose this image, and opened her free write with the lines above. She hooked me immediately!

The polarity/paradox exploration of these expressions really speaks to me—that tension and dynamic (im)balance between divergent interests, goals, and desires… They do often feel opposed–dichotomous–until we get our heads (and hearts) around to reconciliation, peace, and action in accordance with it all in movement and (r)evolution— our values, goals, and relationships.

The MW group meets on the first and third Friday of the month. It’s a freeing, connecting, creative session that always nourishes my being in multiple ways. I know in my thinking mind the utility and benefit of free writes with prompts. It has taken me this long to feel it, though–to consider allowing myself to play, in service of the work of Book. And I have also long understood (cognitively) the utility and benefits of play!

Duh-HA! and *sigh* [sheepish smirk-smile, shaking my head and chuckling lightly]

I catch on fast–when I think. I can also stall, when the feels haven’t quite moved enough… My hare of a left frontal cortex runs back and forth, urging me on for behavior change, goading and prodding, while my amygdala/brainstem tortoise plods along steadily at its own slow, stubborn pace. When these apparently contrary aspects of myself finally meet and journey together a while, the synergy ignites like the tiniest burst of rocket fuel. We lift off a bit, make a popcorn hop forward in understanding, inspiration, integration, and productivity, landing softly to resume the usual pattern again until next time.

Now that I think about it, patience with the process serves me well here. The wisdom of middle age teaches me how all things happen in their own time, that rushing is often futile, and that savoring the journey with all of my senses is what gives life meaning. I can aspire and strive powerfully, perhaps even more so, when I really revel in the process, YES!

How fascinating, as I chose to write about patience last night, prompted (with a vibrating sense of urgency–I just love these little ironies!) by the image below.

When/where/how in your own life lives this tension of fast and slow? How does if feel for you, mind, body, and spirit? I’m thinking (and feeling) I can practice slowing down, taking a few deep breaths, and being in and with the awareness a little longer, the next time a mini epiphany hits me. I can quickly acknowledge and capture it, then bow slowly and deeply to honor it. Whenever I do this, I inevitably feel lighter in my body, brighter in my being, and more confident in my doing.

All of this from a 10 minute free write with friends. Awesome.