How do you lead?

I like to ask a question at the start of a post because it feels like an invitation… Like I’m starting a conversation. Because the purpose of this blog is not just to express my own thoughts and ideas, but to connect with others who are willing and excited to engage with them and me. I just never know when, where or who the next great connection will be, and it’s one of the best uncertainties in life.

As I prepared for my second self-efficacy session at Ethos today, all I wanted to do was explore questions. I know my own approach to leadership, how I have evolved in my own practice of it, etc. And I am happy to ‘impart’ any of that to anyone who asks, but these self-efficacy sessions are meant to stimulate attendees’ own explorations and assessments. I am simply the facilitator. So I came with more queries than teachings. Looking back, I wish I had invited more questions as well. Learning for next time!

The group was small, five of us who know each other already, three who attended my first session in March. No dry erase writing this time, just slow, thoughtful reflection and sharing. I know now that regardless of audience size or composition, I can show up loving and present, and navigate any dynamic with a strong rudder of openness and connection. And I’m rewarded so generously every time.

Words that recurred today included energy, empathy, together, expectation, growth, awareness, humility, discomfort, vulnerability, and love, among others. I will continue to reflect on my friends’ insights and expressions, and learn from them. Please find below the questions I prepared, as well as a few that emerged in conversation. We did end up discussing most of them, without feeling rushed or forced. It all flowed in easy, loving exchange. We led ourselves and one another in exactly the way I had hoped we would, and I am nothing but grateful.

I hope you experience excellent leadership in your life, dear reader–both of you and by you. And if you are unclear or unsure how to lead well or better, may opportunities for clarity and confidence meet you soon on your journey.

Oh, and in case you have not already considered:
Assuming you are a leader in any given space, regardless of title or status, how does this affect/change how you show up, to yourself and to others?
If you knew you could lead from any chair in the orchestra of your family, your work organization, and humanity, how would you play?

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Ethos: Own Your Leadership
June 22, 2025

Curious – philosophical – concrete –> Apply

Why here today? Curious about…?
What is leadership?
How do we know we’re being led?
How do we know we’re leading?

What is your first act of leadership in memory (mine was in preschool)?
–What was the outcome/consequence?
–What did it teach you?

What is your leadership style and (how) does it change with context?
–How has it evolved over time (drift)?
–Any seminal experiences that shifted it?

How do we feel when led well?
How do you want those you lead to feel–about themselves, the work, and you?
–How does this inform how you show up?
–How do you think/assume/// they want to feel?

What feedback have you gotten about your leadership?
What feedback have you given about others’?
What are the compontents of effective feedback, both giving and receiving?