Who doesn’t need a tiny love note once in a while?

The ‘jar of smiles’ idea came across my Instagram feed some months ago and, though it’s not new, this time it moved me instantly. I could buy a jar of notes online, or I could simply write my own! I have stacks of origami paper left over from past obsessions with the kids–perfect. And since I also save glass jars like a true hoarder, I was all set.

The first two jars went to friends going through hardships. I think of these amazing sisters often and try to text them in real time, and this is another way for them to feel loved by me, but at moments of their own choosing.

Daughter suggested I write a jar for my friends at Ethos, my beloved gym–brilliant! After moving to a beautiful new space 2.5 times bigger than the original and expanding team and services with ambition and gusto, I knew the transition–for all of us–would be a challenge. And it was daunting to consider writing enough smile notes for a whole community. When the gym re-opened last month, the elevated energy was palpable. Every fear or worry I had about the culture not translating was allayed immediately. People’s auras and vibrations pulsed with excitement, light, and possibility. I would not have imagined that the love shared among my gym friends could get better, and here we are–the commute can take up to twice as long now, and I drive it happily just to bask in the light and connection while I train my body. So of course I could pour all that love into a Jar of Smiles!

Turns out, well wishes are easy and fun to write. While listening one night to Beastly Beauty by Jennifer Donnelly (another book I highly recommend; check out my review on Goodreads), the inspiration flowed. Any word from any given passage that crossed my consciousness could evoke something positive. Most messages apply to myself also–reminders of how I want to approach any day or challenge. Music lyrics, books, conversations, memories, items on my desk–once I’m in the love note mindset, each smile message emerges spontaneously and practically writes itself, alternating between affirmations, admonishments for self-compassion and self-care, interesting questions, and cheerleading.

What I had not expected was how uplifted I would feel myself after writing them. Each note is an original thought, occurring to me in real time and sometimes morphing as it emerges, as I run out of space in a line or leave out a letter. But the sentiment and intention remain steadfast–to connect, even anonymously–because we are all human, we are all here doing our best, and our core needs for feeling seen, heard, understood, accepted, and loved are the same. It reminds me of when I write my patients’ action plans at the end of their full day physicals, after consulting with me, the dietician, and the exercise physiologist. The team and I have the luxury of long interviews, when we have time to ask deeper questions and really know people. Our annual health summary acknowledges people’s persistent self-care efforts and serves as pep talk for the year to come. I see you. This is what you mean to your colleagues and loved ones. This is what I wish for you.

My smile jar messages feel like little love darts–the Nerf suction cup kind–shot joyfully at my friends, aiming to bestow mini hickies of encouragement. Maybe a small note will lift someone and make them more likely to lift someone else, because we are always more likely to shine on others when we feel light ourselves. If the effect only lasts a moment, even one subsequent interaction, that’s enough! It’s like dropping grains of sand on a dune (an analogy my mentor taught me), one at a time. Most land uneventfully–the receipient gets a transient oxytocin hit that passes. Once in a while a few grains cause a small slide along the dune face–people start to hold doors for one another, let others into traffic, say hello and start friendly conversations in the check-out line. And over time, with enough grains steadily deposited, ridges and knolls change shape–we start assuming the best instead of the worst in each other, get curious before applying judgment, and seek connection more than division.

Love notes have the power to transform.

I have a 4-inch stack of 3-inch origami squares, a set of rainbow pens, and a box full of glass jars at the ready. I have a list of recipients and occasions, and of course a set of refill smiles for the jar at Ethos. I hope people keep plucking the little squares out regularly, and I hope they do get a good, real smile from each. They are written with love, and I smile myself, rereading as I fold them. It’s meditative and uplifting, and that is my wish for anyone who opens one.

Onward in love and light, my friends. Please share yours, no matter how small–love given away multiplies rather than diminishes–the world needs every grain and every message of love we can muster right now.