Category Archives: communication

Education

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What are you actively learning these days? How do you look back on/see your formal and informal educations? What do you now most wish you knew at some past seminal time?

What do you study? What do you teach? In which domains do you do both, and what is the balance?

Who teaches you? What do you appreciate about them?

How do I do education well already?
–I suck up learning from almost all possible sources. Lately I revel in what I learn from my kids–pop culture, history omg (their formal humanities education is so much broader and and deeper than mine was), fashion, sailing, ballet, music, relationships. I am a student of life; my major is relationships. My cumulative GPA is strong.
–I study teaching, of trainees, patients, kids, audiences, etc. I make an effort to understand learner’s points of reference, readiness, and goals. I try to meet them there, and help them get where they want to go. I can modify my posture, language, and directiveness or collaborativeness based on needs and dynamics.
–I am open to what I don’t know I don’t know. I am extremely teachable.

How could I do it better?
–I realized years ago that it’s not the remedial student who bothers me. It’s the disengaged one. If a learner is earnestly trying, I will go out of my way to help–stay late, think of different methods, stick with them. But if they don’t want to be there, then I don’t want them there, either. The change in me is dramatic, and it doesn’t serve anyone. So these days, my goal is to be honest about my attitude, call out honesty from learners, and make agreements on how we will hold ourselves and one another accountable for a more optimal relationship. Come to think of it, I could apply this to any relationship, yes?
–I could be more critical, especially of things I read online. If I trust you, I will believe what you tell me, especially if I see you as an authority figure. Thankfully I am often surrounded by realists, cynics, and skeptics, who lead me by their critical example.

How does society to education well already?

Identification and accommodation. Much more now than when I grew up, formal education entities recognize and accommodate the diversity of learning styles and needs. Processes and systems are now in place for nonconventional instruction, schedules, etc.

How could we do better?

Value education of all kinds. I always loved the show Dirty Jobs, hosted by Mike Rowe. It taught us about jobs that keep our world functioning, that we never knew about, and that do not involve four year degrees. No matter how much we evolve toward a knowledge and gig economy, we will always need people to grow and process our food, maintain our machines, build our spaces, etc. As AI and machines integrate into all of our systems, formal and continuing education will need to innovate and keep up, and much of it will still not require university credentials.

Remove financial barriers. For the work that does require collegiate creds, and for the sake of liberal arts learning itself, we have to stop putting people into lifelong debt to pursue scholarly goals. It may not be my place to opine on specifics, and I still have the right to call out the irrational and unjustifiable cost of higher education.

Life skills. Reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic are fundamental skills, yes. So are kindness, curiosity, manners, and effective communication. These days it seems at all levels of education, people need to re/learn how to simply be with other people without getting into fights. Maybe we should make All I Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten required reading every year through post graduate training?

My point in this post, I realize here at the end, is about intellectual humility:
“People who are intellectually humble know that their beliefs, opinions, and viewpoints are fallible because they realize that the evidence on which their beliefs are based could be limited or flawed or that they may not have the expertise or ability to understand and evaluate the evidence. Intellectual humility involves understanding that we can’t fully trust our beliefs and opinions because we might be relying on faulty or incomplete information or are incapable of understanding the details.” For a more academic explanation, see this article from Nature, which I reference here for my own benefit:
“Research on intellectual humility offers an intriguing avenue to safeguard against human errors and biases. Although it cannot eliminate them entirely, recognizing the limitations of knowledge might help to buffer people from some of their more authoritarian, dogmatic, and biased proclivities.”

The more broadly and humbly we approach education of all kinds, both formal and informal, the better we can all learn how to think, which is exponentially more valuable than learning what to think, since information and knowledge now accelerates and changes many times over in a human lifetime. An attitude of lifelong learning and growth prepares us all to be more flexible, agile, and adaptive to the uncertain and volatile world we have created for ourselves.

Learn how best to learn, keep learning and applying, and be better for it all.

Flexibility

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Speaking of… I write this from the emergency department, where Daughter is now observed for an anphylactic allergic food reaction (she’s okay now). *sigh* We do what we’ gotta do–will be here at least another 4 hours.

How do I already do flexibility well?
–I have an agile mind. It freezes occasionally, but most of the time I can assess a fluid situation and work out effective solutions on the fly. Every day in executive health is different and unique, with schedule disruptions from new symptoms, exam findings, test results, and events in other departments. The team, physicians and staff alike, move like gears shifting and sliding amongst one another, keeping the machine running as smoothly as possible.
–I have a low threshold to question and challenge ‘how we have always done’ something, especially when it’s no longer relevant or useful. This includes assessing my default assumptions, especially negative ones, about people. I don’t always do this readily, but more often now than before.
–I can change personal plans without much distress, as long as circumstances allow. I am seldom married to any given itinerary; my greatest sadness is when long awaited meetings with loved ones fall through.

How could I do better?
–I know there are situations where I am rigid, attached to my default assumptions, and not aware. Even when I am aware, I still resist flexing. I’m human. *sigh* So: more mindfulness… Polarity management… Perspective taking… Hmmm… I’m really glad I’ve written these posts this month–they will be a helpful handbook of skills and reminders going forward.
–Sometimes I may be too flexible, which can lead to indecisiveness and meandering. Wide collaboration and flat leadership hierarchy style have pitfalls. I think this is a minor weakness, though. I can sense pretty well when I need to decide something; and since most decisions are two-way doors, my openness to flexibility is still rewarded.

How are we already collectively flexible?

Freedom of expression; innovation. Conflicting opinions notwithstanding, American culture is pretty tolerant of widely varying manifestations of individual and group identity. We are relatively open, I think, to new ideas and creativity. We may not be the most flexible or open, but I think the number of innovations in many domains that originate in the US is a testament to our ability to flex…in technical and commercial areas more than social, in my non-evidence-based observation.

How could we do flexibility better together?

Cull bureaucracy. This feels like chasing a better balance between centralized and decentralized government/management, affording better local responses to acutely changing circumstances and needs. How would this work? Off the top of my head:
–Crystal clear vision, mission, values, goals common to and bought in by all locales
–Concrete, relevant, direct, attributable, and achievable metrics–adjusted to local specifics and still clearly aligned with global mission/goals
–Effective accountability and regular assessment, feedback and remediation as needed
–Balanced interdependence between nodes of the system; stakes for each unit in each other unit’s success

Promote experimentation, pilots, start ups. We facilitate flexibility when creativity and innovation is low risk and low cost. Manage sunk cost biases, apply iterative learning, practice seeing more doors that swing two ways. Collaborate and integrate between disciplines.

Stop punishing the masses for transgressions of the few. Regulation is complex. At least in medicine, the vast majority of practitioners make an honest living, making occasional accounting mistakes. My impression is that sporadic examples of fraud, admitedly severe, incite layers of global stricture on billing and verification, strangling all of us with at least as much time spent on paperwork as on face to face patient care, fueling burnout and alienating patients from their care providers. David French has written that it is not the severity of punishment that deters crime; it is the assuredness of it. I will park illegally if I think I won’t get caught, even if the ticket is $100. But if I know I’ll be charged $20 every time I do it, I won’t. So, maximize accountability and optimize systems for members to self-regulate effectively.

I hope you all had a Thanksgiving that fulfilled at least some hopes of communion, connection, and joy. Living with high risk medical conditions, when sudden and severe episodes trigger acute, indiscriminate, and impactful changes in plans, makes us even more flexible than we may already be. It’s useful, if painful, training. I am always grateful to walk out intact on the other side.

Judgment

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How do you feel about judgment? When/what are you most likely to judge quickly and negatively? Do you notice when this happens? Is it okay? How does it affect your mood, conversations, and relationships? How does your judgment help you and those you love? When does the judgment of others hurt you? How do you think we could all do it better?

How do I do judgment well already?
–I make evaluative judgments a lot less often now than in the past. For instance when I dislike an outfit, I say it’s not for me rather than call it outright ugly. I keep my individual, subjective opinions as such, rather than declaring them mindlessly as universal objective truths.
–Similarly about people, I identify behaviors and actions separately from people themselves. A kind person can do unkind things; an honest person may sometimes tell a lie. When I witness one unkind or untrue thing, that does not necessarily define the person’s whole character. At my best, observing a nonvirtuous action by someone I know to be virtuous prompts me to check in with them and see if they are okay.
–I can withhold judgment a long time; I tolerate uncertainty and stay open for any interaction or relationship to evolve toward connection, even if it starts out far from it. I attend conscientiously to my lack of complete information to minimize misjudging, which too often leads to hurting people and damaging relationships.

How could I do better?
–Once I make a negative evaluative judgment about a person, group, or institution, I let that bias lead thereafter. In many cases I can keep the door to changing my mind open at least a crack, but I know which doors are shut and locked today. I could open my mind to the possibility that people and organizations can change; I could unlock those doors.
–I can mitigate my meta-judgment. I value open-mindedness and curiosity and loathe narrow-mindedness and knee-jerk early closure. Thus, I judge others’ (and my own) judgment acutely and strongly in the negative. Funny how this makes me exactly what I hate. Working on it–with mindfulness, self-compassion, forgiveness, accountability, and perspective taking… This is my work.

How does society do judgment well today?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy. More and more, DBT integrates into mainstream talk therapy, and some places are even incorporating DBT skills into school curriculum. DBT teaches us to distinguish between evaluative and discriminating judgments:
–Evaluative: “stating something as a whole and objectively. It is taking the facts of a situation and adding personal preferences, values, and opinions to make it an objective truth. This type of judgment is ineffective because others may view the same situation differently, whether it is marginally different or completely different.”
–Discriminating: “reflect personal preferences and subjective opinions. They are considered judgments that are effective in terms of not projecting one’s perception as a complete conclusion.”
The more this distinction enters general consciousness and awareness, the less our differences and disagreements may escalate into outright opposition and hatred.

How can we all do better?

Stop reinforcing click-bait, incendiary soundbites, oversimplification, and overgeneralization. Before forming and rendering an opinion on anything:
–Ask whether an opinion or position is even necessary–is it worth the time, energy, and resources?
–Vet the information: How reliable is the source? What is their motivation?
–Look for contrary examples of an initial judgment; evaluate honestly the merits of both/all sides of a debate
–Commit to disengaging from information sources–including people–that/who incite, amplify, and perpetuate hair-trigger judgment

BREATHE. Take time. Most things are not an emergency, and additional information is readily available. This is the harder, longer, more complicated path, this slowing and elevation of judgment. And certainly some situations require immediate decision and action. But knee-jerk is too often our collective default judgment setting, and we need better balance.

Make more generous assumptions, at least initially. I would rather regret being too kind than not kind enough. The proverb that people rise or descend to our expectations of them is at least partially true. Since we all make evaluative judgments anyway, why not show up to people in a way that invites–calls–their best selves forth? We can sense one another’s judgments, verbalized and overtly expressed or not. Body language and tone of voice reveal us. So let us be less judgmental, so that we can seem so, also. It’s the honest thing to do.

I really enjoyed thinking about this topic tonight. It reminds me how easily we can fall into oversimplified, dichotomous thinking (and judgment, HA!) about judgment–that it’s all bad and we should eliminate it altogether, or that it’s always necessary in all situations lest we don’t know what we think about anything. Maybe we can think of judgment as a tool, a skill–something we can exercise mindfully to help us make sense and meaning, both individually and collectively. At its best, judgment provides clarity, direction, and connection. At its worst, it polarizes, instigates, and leads to violence. We can each and all do our part to bend the long, human, moral arc toward the former.