Monthly Archives: November 2020

Moving Through Distress

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

Sometimes the storm you’ve seen coming all along still sneaks up on you. 

COVID essentially obliterated 2020.  My colleagues and I saw the signs in the spring.  We knew all summer that things would get worse again when folks started gathering indoors.  But I did not anticipate a surge until after Thanksgiving.  Wow.  I stand a little agape, but I shouldn’t.

Four years ago I knew it could go either way… in my rational brain.  But my limbic brain would not believe it.  So I was despondent.  I’ve done so much work since then, channeling rage and outrage into nascent activism.  I have hewn closer to my core values, strived hard to be my best self, walking the talk, as if that would make any outcome tonight easier to take.  All year we have known it would be a toss-up again.  And here I am, suffering something akin to PTSD.

My usual workouts and mind-body practices would not cut it.  This day I needed rhythm, music, and another kind of movement.  Some folks at work joined me on a video dance-along to the Kongos—thank you Kathy Varol!  I listened to my Spotify playlist instead of books or podcasts, and walked in time.  Daughter and I played piano for the first time in months—Pachelbel’s Canon and Clementi’s famous Sonatina.  Nice to know that muscle memory can persist 30+ years.

All of my coping skills are called forth now and for the foreseeable future.  At least I’m better today at hearing how my soul asks to be soothed.  That’s a win.

What We Need

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NaBloPoMo 2020 — Today’s Lesson

It’s Election Day Eve.  Big day tomorrow.  What do you need? 

A few of us asked each other this question today.  I need to stay connected to my tribe and get good sleep.  Another needs to form a tribe, learn to reach out and connect on her own terms.  Others need safety.  Crystal ball, genie, group hug (but COVID GRRRRR), a certain election outcome…  I suggested maybe we need an hourly, one song, Zoom dance-along throughout the day.  The playlist is growing.

After multiple queries it becomes clear, as it always does, that more than anything, we need each other.  My Facebook friend, a Trump supporter, told me how a colleague came to work crying the day after in 2016.  He hugged her.  No matter what I think of his politics I need for him and me to stay friends, to commit to not abandoning each other as fellow humans and fellow Americans.  I’m not sure if that’s what he needs… I should ask.

We all need, once again as always, to feel seen, heard, understood, accepted, and loved.  And we need to help others feel it, too.  This does not mean we are not held responsible for our words and actions, and the harm we cause with both.  Compassion and empathy are not exclusive of accountability and reform. 

We need vulnerability and courage.  We need to come alongside rather than come at.  We need to monitor and manage our own assumptions, to hold a mirror to ourselves and own our contributions to current state.  We need calm, discipline, breath, and self-control.

We need to heal.

We need grace—to give and to receive.

The Value of Brevity

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Lesson for the Day

November is National Blog Posting Month!  This will be my sixth consecutive attempt—30 posts in 30 days.  Every year I think I lack the bandwidth, and I try anyway.  This year feels even more impossible, so I’m even more determined.  To practice dynamic life balance, so I can do the things I need as well as those I want, I commit to an additional challenge:  60 minutes and 300 words or less per day.  One hour for me; one minute for you.

This month I will apprehend a key learning each day and write about it.  I expect certain lessons will recur, and I look forward to seeing what patterns and themes emerge, especially as we navigate the election, the pandemic, the holidays, winter, and darkness (the last perhaps on multiple levels).

When you are challenged to distill, and then perhaps amplify, a central tenet or message, how do you do it?  I rail against soundbites most of the time, and sometimes they also have value.  Well-crafted statements—slogans, I guess—can inspire, move, and change our world.  What single statements best express your experience of our current challenges?  I’ll take my stab below.  Share yours in the comments, as well as your favorite mantras/sayings.

I will park my butt to meet you here every night this month.

Election:  Leadership is about character.

Pandemic:  On the long, hard road ahead, we must all care for each other as much as ourselves.

Holidays: Take the aberration in stride and get creative about connecting—we can do this.

Winter:  Cold and dark make us treasure warmth and light; let the annual appreciation practice commence.

Darkness:  There is always light somewhere; seek it earnestly, inside and out.