Love Notes for Honesty

Posted on November 28, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

This one will be a challenge, friends. How does one write love notes about honesty without sounding condescending? Most of these will be self-reflection, I think. So I invite my friends to join in exploration and aspiration. Let’s see what happens!

May we always be honest with ourselves first, even and especially when it’s hard. Then we can be honest with others when it matters.

2. Let us hold ourselves compassionately accountable for our biases, prejudices, assumptions, and stubborn narratives. May we own our shit for all our sakes.

3. Telling the truth can be scary and painful. But let us step up and do it anyway, kindly, directly, humanely. Our future selves will thank one another for our moral fortitude.

4. When I show up honest and open, especially facing your passive aggression, I aim to both honor my integrity and earn your respect. It’s all I can do.

5. May your most honest self always have a strong hand on the wheel of your moral car. May the signals and headlights shine bright so others see your integrity clearly.

6. May you experience many times over the benefits and rewards of honesty more than the risks and costs. The net positives outweigh the negatives if we stick with it!

7. I assume you are an honest person. I know it’s really hard to tell the truth in many situations. I respect you for standing in your honesty however possible. Thank you.

8. Ugh, my biases are strong and steer me to the far lanes of human traffic sometimes. How ’bout you? May we be both firmly and gently honest with ourselves.

9. Let us all always combine honesty with empathy, kindness, and compassion, and deliver our truths from love before anything else. Easier said than done; worth the effort.

10. Even when we are honest (which we too often are not), our truths are still only stories we choose to tell. Even we ourselves must take them with a grain of salt.

11. Yes, always be honest. And attend to context. Not every truth is appropriate for every moment. Choose wisely. Protect relationships with kindness and respect.

12. Thank you (for) being kind and discerning in your honesty. It means so much when you take others’ feelings into account when you offer your truths.

Huh. Are they love notes? Do you feel loved reading them? I hope so. 🙂

Love Notes for Patience

Posted on November 26, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

*deep breaths*

The post office lady. My patient. The airport traffic lady. Holiday highway drivers.
It’s been a day of tense interactions.
In real time, I think to myself, ‘Be kind. Be open, curious, empathetic, generous–walk the talk, omg.’
And then all I can muster is to not snark, snide, and agress back, to wave politely, say thank you, and move on. Couldn’t quite muster the more loving me.
Some days we are not our best selves. It’s okay. We’re doing our best.
We keep practicing patience with ourselves and others. We are enough.

Our world tells us to expect everything now. Our perspective narrows in ways that jeopardize connection and peace. Beware.

2. Something feels off here, and I cannot put my finger on it all the way. Some may say I overthink. I think I just need to understand. Gimme a minute, please.

3. Deep breaths, my love. You’re doing your best. So am I. May we approach each other gently.

4. Thank you so much for your patience with me. Sleep deprivation, menopause, stress, and the state of the world all erode my mind today. Thank you for not throwing me away.

5. Your patience is such a gift to me. Thank you for seeing my efforts to keep up and also do a good (great) job. Please know I do my best for you.

6. You know your truth… You may just not trust it all the way yet. It will become clear over time – let it rise and show itself to the whole of you.

7. Breathe in Hold Breathe out Hold Repeat. It’s okay to feel any emotion. And we can regulate while we wait it out.

8. Consistency over intensity. Small, sustainable change. The results will come. Stick with the program. It will take time. You’ got this.

9. Sometimes it’s most disappointing when we don’t live up to or own standards. We are all works in progress. Every ‘failure’ can help us grow. Keep going.

10. To those who show us patience and forbearance, thank you. May we pay it forward whenever possible. We can all help each other out this way.

11. When you feel harried and anxious, may an infinitely patient soul cross your path, touch your arm, look into your eyes, and share their calm. It will all get done. It’s okay.

12. Their emergency is not necessarily your emergency. There is often time to breathe and approach thoughtfully. Try not to rush, love.

Love Notes for Listening

Posted on November 24, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

When was the last time you felt truly heard and understood? When not?
How well do we really listen to one another?
How much meaning and connection do we miss, without even knowing, and then wonder why our relationships are not better?
Oooo, this one could be fun.

May those close to you attune to you with such fine fidelity that they see and hear you with minimal effort on your part. And you them.

2. May we practice our excellent, present, empathic, and loving listening skills–especially when it’s the most difficult–that’s when we hone mastery!

3. [Written during in flight turbulence] What is your body trying to tell you? Do you hear its signals? What language does it speak? Are you fluent? May you and it connect often and well!

4. When we feel heard, we feel loved. May you feel these multiple times a day, and may you help others feel it, too. This is the best human reciprocity–it’s where love lives.

5. We know we are truly listening when we find ourselves getting more curious as the encounter continues. The potential for connection rises awesomely then!

6. [More turbulence] When you are blessed with someone who truly listens to you, who makes you feel heard, may you notice and appreciate and then emulate!

7. We spend so much of our lives speaking. May your speech land on ears open to your meaning, open to connection and understanding, so you may feel truly heard.

8. When you leave and encounter with me, may you feel seen, heard, understood, accepted, and loved. Then may you pay it forward. The world is just better this way, no?

9. “Listen! You smell something?” Haha! But seriously, our senses do overlap. When we get present, they integrate and synergize! So cool!

10. We are so imperfect, every one of us! But let this not keep us from striving daily to be our best! Practice your excellent listening — it’s worth the effort!

11. I feel so heard by you because you listen not just to my words but you sense context and know what my words me to me, and that is your focus. You are selfless here.