Affective Polarization

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

How fun when learning occurs in clusters.  I linked to a recent Hidden Brain podast on my November 4 post.  It was the first time I had heard the term ‘affective polarization.’  Basically it means that we define and dislike people by only knowing their political party affiliation.  Today I listened to a series of theological essays addressing the same issue, from a Christian perspective.  I can’t wait to learn more.

Increasingly, we judge and relate to one another based on this one factor, which may or may not be important to how we define ourselves.  Apparently it’s a pretty new phenomenon, and escalating fast (surprise). 

The podcast discusses how we feel as and about people who are deeply involved in politics or not, and how that affects our attitudes and decisions about which relationships to enter, whom to hire, where to live, etc.  The essays explain further that it has to do with in- and out-group (tribal) identity, self-esteem, and meaning.  In 21st Century American culture, our politics identify us more than they used to—it has replaced religion in this way, perhaps.  But, he posits, while we have cultivated religious attitudes and practices “from dogmatism and fundamentalism toward a faith that is more tolerant, inclusive, peaceable and generous,” not so for politics.  Partisans on both sides are basically fundamentalists, and that carries important implications for violence— the new holy wars.

This may all seem rather alarmist.  But I bet anyone who hears the podcast or reads the articles will recognize and relate to much of their content.  The best outcome from consumption of these pieces will be a little more awareness, and a desire to monitor and modify how we relate, for the better.  Let’s get to it, shall we?

For Real — Go High

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

Four years ago I started experiencing contempt from some people.  “Trumped That Bitch” and other pejoratives reverberated.  Daughter asked earnestly if we, natural born citizens, would be deported.  Random people asked me if I speak English, and people who look like me all across the country were yelled at, by total strangers, to go back to China.  We have been verbally and physically assaulted with escalating frequency since then.

Today, my phone vibrated with celebratory text threads.  Friend Unicorn labelled the experience a collective catharsis.  That made me consider… “I hope we can be less vindictive than the other side was last time,” I replied.  Friend Pegasus wrote back, “I believe we will be because the person leading will promote it.”  Exactly.  Leaders set the example.  Character really matters.  My friends and I feel soothed already, like we can finally take a breath and a pee break, refreshed for the next leg on the race toward progress.  Kamala Harris’s and Joe Biden’s speeches tonight further lifted our hopes and enthusiasm for healing and reconciliation.

I thought of my conservative friends throughout the day and evening, wondering how they’re doing.  I checked in with a few.  Some expressed disappointment and grief.  I can relate.  I also remember worrying about and praying for the Obamas’ safety immediately after the Grant Park celebration in 2008, and still do today.  Flashes of fear for Biden’s and especially Harris’s safety flared tonight. 

74 days until transfer of power.  Will it be peaceful?  I believe we each have more agency over this than we think.  Ignore agitators—give them no platform.  Amplify and uplift the peacemakers.  We’ve got serious work to do, together.  Stay focused; allow no distractions.  Go High—really—for all our sakes.

Postmortem as Prenatal

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NaBloPoMo 2020 — Today’s Lesson

Feedback and root cause analysis:  If you’re like most people I know, you love neither.  I relish the former; my friend revels in the latter.  We make a great team!  We conducted a series of both recently, and yet another complementary relational phenomenon occurred to me:  These are not concluding activities; they are initiating.

Many of us procrastinate and dread feedback—both the giving and the getting.  On the other side of dread and gnashing of teeth, we sigh with relief when it’s ‘over.’  For more complex issues, just one session may not suffice—we must dig deeper—ask more questions, really dissect out the nerves, vessels, and tumors.  A good postmortem requires patience, curiosity, and a nimble beginner’s mind.  We never know what will emerge, and we follow clues with a balance of enthusiasm and realism.

So many times in the past week someone has told me, “This is very good information,” when I have either given or described feedback I received.  Very good indeed, and sometimes painful and humbling.  I did not sigh with relief and closure.  I inhaled deeply and prepared to contemplate longer—to gestate.  The figurative autopsies I assisted in this week served as developmental studies of our paths to current state. They shed light on the potential anatomy of better processes, understanding, and collaboration.

We dread the hard conversations.  We think if we can just get through them, we can be free and slink away.  But the joyfully ironic truth is, hard conversations are exciting and inviting beginnings.  If we both steel and soften ourselves to pass through these jagged archways, myriad new possibilities beckon.  We get to be the architects, together, of a much healthier new future.