AIYAAAAAH IT’S JUST TOOOOO GOOOOOOD!!!

Friends, please meet my new beach volleyball teammates! We are the Ethos team at North Avenue Beach on Wednesday evenings, woohooooooo!! I have played since 7th grade, and never on sand until this summer. And I can’t think of another group I would feel safer and have more fun doing it with. How many times have I mentioned Ethos and how I love the team there? Well it keeps getting better, I just cannot say (or write) enough!

In the last four months I have increased weight from 50# to 105# on barbell back squats, 12.5# to 20# on dumbbell bench press at any angle, 35# to 70# on landmine squats, and all kinds of other personal strength and endurance records. In that time I also hit some speed bumps and potholes: left sciatic impingement (April-May), left medial meniscus aggravation (May to last week), left shoulder instability (ongoing and improving), and right brachioradialis spasm (July to present, also improving). Bottom lines: 1) I never would have tried loading weight like this on my own at home, thus my strength and form stagnated. 2) Had I injured myself working out at home, I would not have known how to modify anything to continue moving and progressing safely. But with the support and encouragement of the coaches and community at Ethos, strength, form, confidence, motivation, and joy and connection have all improved exponentially.

“There can be a fine line between rehab and performance,” Jacob told me. EUREKA! Lighten up on weight this week, focus on range of motion, Ryan advised. They taught me hip, knee, neck, and wrist CARs. Listen to my body. Take care of it with good sleep and nutrition. Be patient. No judgment. Keep coming to class, spirit buoyed by friends. Coaches continue to monitor and correct. And voila: healing and progress, competence and confidence, HALLELUJAH!

I have never, in my entire life, loved going to the gym like I do now, and it’s all because of the people. So when I heard about the beach volleyball group, it was a no brainer to join. My world expands newly after 38 years of indoor play, adjusting to various outdoor conditions (twilight/night, wet/dry and deep/shallow sand, and wind, OMG!). Lessons in team communication emerge in yet another domain. And between gym and beach, uplifting new friendships bloom. I mean does it get any better than this?? I feel positively giddy from it all!

How do your communites support, even carry you? As I thought more this weekend about belonging, connection, and mutual, synergistic uplift, meaningful examples appeared everywhere.

New Friend described his spiritual community to me and I could feel, from his facial expressions, voice, and posture, the deep stability and peace he gets from that connection. The Sheil Catholic Center has been that for me since college, not because of religion per se, but again because of the people. Shared spiritual belief and core values play a primary role in Friend’s and my belonging in these groups, and deep connection can occur around anything: Meditation, yoga, sports, volunteering, book club, work…

How many different communities include you, make you better, and benefit reciprocally from your unique presence and participation?

OMG Romance! WHODATHUNK? 11 months in and still binging strong, my friends. Since I posted initially last November, my consumption has expanded from steamy cis-het-binary-monogamous rom-coms to novels that include male-male, dark, fantasy, paranormal, mafia, dominant-submissive, and polyamorous themes! My vicarious sex and relationship education continues with momentum and ardent support–you guessed it–from the romance community! I would never have found any of these stories and experiences if not for the Shaneiaks Facebook group and guidance from the indefatiguable Suzi over at Royal Reads Services, group admin and expert in all things romance publishing. I have always been open and comfortable talking to my patients and kids about sex, and today I’m even more confident and bold. Ask me anything, tell me anything, and I will engage with a whole new level of openness now. By the way, if you also seek to broaden your horizons in this domain, I highly recommend Boyslut by Zachary Zane.

How do your communities support others?

Once again, the romance community inspires me. When author Lili Valente‘s house was destroyed by recent floods in the Northeast, her fans came together to support her through direct book purchases on her website. This week author Lucy Eden has organized RomanceforMaui, an upcoming auction to raise money for those affected by the most devastating wildfires in the United States in 100 years. Check out the auction items–consider bidding for yourself, your romance fan friends, and for the people on Maui. Finally, see how romance narrators, authors, and audiobook producers come together to support their BIPOC colleagues by providing grants and services to bring their work forth through Audio in Color. Simply amazing.

I am such a better version of myself because I belong to these tribes, wow, how humbling and exciting.

It occurs to me that membership in some communities can actually transform us into worse versions of ourselves… *sigh*… More on that in later post, perhaps…

Relationships. They can kill us or save us, and so much more. Our communities of deep and meaningful belonging can enrich, expand, educate, and empower us, often to heights we could never have imagined. How can we build and grow more of these connections, strengthen them for the good of all? I have some ideas…