Love Notes for Love

Bee Butt Friend. I have decided this will be a distinction of love that I confer on anyone who manifests the ethos. And I will continue to strive to do so myself! πŸ˜€

The past week has seen me full on binge the Crowns series by Nicola Tyche. US Review of Books apparently calls it, “The political intrigue of Outlander or Game of Thrones with the magic and thrills of A Court of Thorns and Roses.” I’ve texted Friend Phara (who recommended it to me) multiple times a day (sometimes an hour) since starting the first book 8 days ago. Book Two began three days ago and I’m 88% through. I will hold off on Book Three until after the busy upcoming weekend, if I can manage it. Then we will FaceTime to gush about it together, and I will use that and all of my texts as notes for a future blog post/review of this epic, sweeping story.

And because I cannot help myself, and I will positively burst if I don’t output something about it now, tonight’s daily dozen will all be inspired by these extraordinary books. Oh and I highly recommend the audiobooks–Shane does not narrate them, but Katherine Kennard, Connor Brannigan, and Zach Hoffman do a phenomenal job!

My favorite books of 2024 and 2025 so far were Beastly Beauty and Never the Roses, respectively. This series further clarifies what I love most about romantasy, and also likely historical romance. More on that later.

Meanwhile: LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

  1. OMGosh love makes (us) do CRAZY things! And life would not be nearly as colorful, joyous, meaningful, or deep if it were any other way.

2. However you need to feel loved today, may the people around you deliver in spades. May you feel seen, heard, understood, accepted and FULLY LOVED exactly how you are.

3. When we find ourselves challenged and/or even threatened by others’ words, actions, or ideas, may we 1) find safety, 2) breathe deeply and slowly, 3) withhold judgement, and 4) stand in love first.

4. Is there an experience with more capacity, more depth, more simplicity and complexity than love? I cannot think of any.

5. Rupture. Repair. Repeat. Love mends tears and cracks so the seams are where the art of life (is) strongest. Love on, my friends.

6. Loving is risky, no? “No risk, no reward,” as they say… And loving is its own reward, in a way, also no? Being loved in return is, of course, ideal, but just giving is fulfilling in itself.

7. Phenomenally, our hearts and minds can always accommodate MORE LOVE. It is an infinite resource and its well has no bottom. SMH Cosmic.

8. When you feel overcome with love, what music fills you? I bet it’s crescendo without being loud, sonorous and light yet deep and resonant. ANTHEM-y.

9. It is both vulnerable and brave, I think, to see, acknowledge, and express when someone else in pain needs us, and to go to them in tenderness. These are the moments of true connection. So precious.

10. You know that feeling of total, saturated overwhelm by love? OMG I wish you this ALL THE time! What other energy could possibly be more nourishing?

11. May you(r) love lead you always, ahead of fear, shame, convention, expectations, contempt, anger, indifference, and apathy. Cultivate this as DEFAULT.

12. Love is amazing — It fills and lifts whatever container holds it — However it is required, it shows up and meets the need. It is reliable, versatile, elastic, and renewable. Wow.

Hmmm. Some of these are good, but there is still so much more to capture about Love, isn’t there? I mean DUH. Like twelve little off the cuff notes could cover it. HA! How fun.

Books For Road Tripping and Empty Nesting

  1. Coming Up Short, Robert Reich
  2. Honor, Kristen Proby
  3. [Never the Roses, Jennifer K Lambert]
  4. Who Is Mr. Satoshi?, Jonathan Lee
  5. Why We Love, Helen Fisher
  6. Polysecure, Jessica Fern
  7. What a Duke Dares, Anna Campbell
  8. (The Well at the World’s End, AJ Mackinnon)
  9. How to Change, Katy Milkman

These are the books I have consumed in the past two weeks. (This one is ongoing) and [this was a repeat listen]. As usual, bold indicates favorites.

I’m still processing this new empty nest experience; suffice it to say for now, it’s a mild emotional roller coaster with a net very positive effect on mood and well-being. Kids are both well and communicating enough (they are merciful on their anxious mom), which is all I need to feel liberated and joyous. I can now find my way in this new life phase of long, loose, still secure tethers. So exciting!

Wanna know about the books? They have all been worthy companions on the road, in the hotels, and in my now very quiet house.

Coming up Short, Robert Reich
Mei and I saved this for the two day road trip to New York, and we loved it. We have both admired both Robert Reich and his son Sam, CEO of Dropout TV, which Mei introduced me to a few years ago. The elder Reich’s memoir is funny, heartfelt, honest, vulnerable, and instructive. To hear inside stories from various arms of government in every administration since Ford, from the perspective of one who has always championed causes and positions to protect people against bullies, inspires and agitates. Highly recommend.

Honor, Kristen Proby
Fun, small town romance with Florence Nightengale x bodyguard vibes–sexy. Listened to this one in preparation to meet Kristen as well as narrators Shane East and Andi Arndt at an upcoming event in Proby’s home state of Montana. I’ll be back in the Rockies this autumn, my friends–life is good.

Never the Roses, Jennifer K Lambert
This may be my favorite book of the year so far; I almost wrote a whole post about it. This is Lambert’s debut novel and narrators Shane East and Chloe Campbell take it and run. The rivals to lovers, slow burn, low spice romantasy captured my attention with intellectual intrigue and exquisite literary writing style, as well as clever humor and characters whose vulnerability and power juxtapose in the most delicious ways. Both sides of my brain would have lit up on fMRI while listening, I’m sure. Hero and heroine’s mutual respect, ethics, self-restraint and finally abiding love and loyalty just wring me for everything I love about romance. GAH!

Who Is Mr. Satoshi?, Jonathan Lee
Narrated by Steve West, a novel about a son’s journey of self- and family discovery after his mother’s death. The characters are lovable in their quirky ways, and I learned things I never knew about Western occupation of Japan after the Second World War. Not a romance, but I consider it a love story. In the end, it’s our relationships that save us. No question.

Why We Love, Helen Fisher
Love is a drive, not an emotion! This revelation and the science behind it continues to fascinate me, and I admire teachers like Fisher and Esther Perel who explain it all so well! Romantic love, lust, and attachment: The book describes these three aspects of human love relationships in a way that makes sense, but doesn’t diminish the mystery and awe of the lived experience. May Fisher’s memory be a blessing on all of us who wish to understand ourselves and one another better!

Polysecure, Jessica Fern
I listened to this one at 1.75x after the library notified me that it was due in three days and I had not started! Highly recommend. Fern explains social, emotional, psychological, and operational foundations of polyamory and other forms of consensual nonmonogamy. Much of the book delves deeply into attachment theory, and I learned how much more complex it is than my prior, superficial understanding. This book helped reassure me, possibly more than any other objective source, that I have probably been a good enough mom.

What a Duke Dares, Anna Campbell
From 2014, narrated solo by Steve West. I forewent writing and sleep for this story, which is my highest sign of audiobook engagement. Something about strong willed and irreverent heroines maneuvering rigid, patriarchal social norms, their heroes finding ‘safe’ ways to defy the same toxic societal constraints to discover and express their own emotional vulnerability, the pairs overcoming it all to finally secure their mutual love despite all the forces that oppose it, and in every instance with the help of loyal family or friends, just makes me melt. And Campbell’s writing style, like Lambert’s, elevates the intellect! Highly recommend.

How to Change, Katy Milkman
It’s not just about habit change, my friends. It’s about systems. Our brains, our environments, our behavior patterns are all overlapping and nested systems with mechanics, levers, frictions, triggers, and keys. A competitive tennis player, engineer, and now professor of behavioral economics at Penn, Milkman expertly explains how these systems work and how we can work with rather than against them to make change both easier and sustainable. I don’t see it as just a self-help book, though. The attitudes and skills she describes apply to leadership. Of course they do. Because nobody lives or operates in a vacuum. We all lead one another by example. For those familiar with concepts from Nudge by Thaler and Sunstein and Mindset by Carol Dweck, this audiobook can easily be absorbed at 1.5x speed.

Up next: Moral Ambition by Rutger Bregman and A Scoundrel by Moonlight by Anna Campbell. The list of pending books grows by the day, and I maintain both hope and conviction to plow, absorb, and integrate my way through it with tenacity and enthusiasm!

Hope you all had a great weekend, friends. Onward through the chaos in courage and connection!! [fist bump and praying hands emojis]