Category Archives: communication

Love Notes for Empathy

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OK friends, I am positively obsessed with the Crowns trilogy by Nicola Tyche, oh my goodness. After binging the books, neglecting all others for two weeks, I started the whole series over almost immediately. I never do this! I found the paperback omnibus on Amazon today and purchased immediately; I’ll mark it up according to my audio bookmarks and hopefully document everything I admire about it here after this 30 day challenge ends. The wickedly twisted plot, heroic character development, and gorgeous prose–I’m easily affected by books, but this is truly beyond. This is the third set of Love Notes inspired by Crowns, and I won’t be surprised if it’s not the last.

What books have affected you deeply? Hmmm, maybe I’ll convene a book club around that question and others one day. That could be different and fun.

  1. When I feel your empathy, I trust you. I open to you. Thank you for this gift of human connection. Please keep offering this to us fellow humans.

2. To the judges therapists nurses law enforcement officers and all who experience the burden of vicarious trauma – may your empathy prevail over burnout.

3. Empathy requires openness and vulnerability – all human connection does. This means risk. May your bravery be rewarded so lavishly that it becomes your nature.

4. Hey friend – I know it can be hard, but let’s try our best to offer our empathy equally to all fellow humans, yes? It’s what we are called to, no?

5. When we come across someone from elsewhere, alone among us locals, may we imagine their feelings and engage with open kindness. It’s the good thing to do.

6. When I lashed out at you in anger and you turned to me in empathy and kindness, you changed me. I am still humbled and convicted from that moment. Thank you.

7. To my friends who bring stories to life – your own or others – thank you for fostering empathy and understandin(g) in us all.

8. Why is empathy so scary sometimes? Seeing ourselves in others, especially in their pain, is painful – thus scary. Let us call forth courage to face all our pain together.

9. “I’ve known this…” sadness grief loneliness anxiety May we all attend to this awareness and honor it.

10. Let us all attune and attend to the empathy of others, let the connection saturate us, so we may offer it widely, every day.

11. Empathy Kindness Compassion Generosity Connection — Regardless where we start, we can land on them all, and we’re all better for it.

12. Are your intentions malicious and hostile? No? then why might you automatically assume another’s are? Let us all practice more generously, please.

Oh I like this set, my friends. Definitely helps to have specific people in mind for each one.
Starting to consider what to do with these 360 love notes at the end of thirty days. Any ideas?

Love Notes for Listening 

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When was the last time you felt truly heard and understood? When not?
How well do we really listen to one another?
How much meaning and connection do we miss, without even knowing, and then wonder why our relationships are not better?
Oooo, this one could be fun. 

  1. May those close to you attune to you with such fine fidelity that they see and hear you with minimal effort on your part. And you them.

2. May we practice our excellent, present, empathic, and loving listening skills–especially when it’s the most difficult–that’s when we hone mastery!

3. [Written during in flight turbulence] What is your body trying to tell you? Do you hear its signals? What language does it speak? Are you fluent? May you and it connect often and well!

4. When we feel heard, we feel loved. May you feel these multiple times a day, and may you help others feel it, too. This is the best human reciprocity–it’s where love lives.

5. We know we are truly listening when we find ourselves getting more curious as the encounter continues. The potential for connection rises awesomely then!

6. [More turbulence] When you are blessed with someone who truly listens to you, who makes you feel heard, may you notice and appreciate and then emulate!

7. We spend so much of our lives speaking. May your speech land on ears open to your meaning, open to connection and understanding, so you may feel truly heard.

8. When you leave and encounter with me, may you feel seen, heard, understood, accepted, and loved. Then may you pay it forward. The world is just better this way, no?

9. “Listen! You smell something?” Haha! But seriously, our senses do overlap. When we get present, they integrate and synergize! So cool!

10. We are so imperfect, every one of us! But let this not keep us from striving daily to be our best! Practice your excellent listening — it’s worth the effort!

11. I feel so heard by you because you listen not just to my words but you sense context and know what my words me to me, and that is your focus. You are selfless here.

12. What makes you an awesome listener? When you turn on this superpower, how does it light up the world? May you have ample opportunities to shine!

Back in Chicago, friends. Refreshed, recharged, and inspired. More tomorrow! xo

Love notes for Solidarity

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“Quiet, piggy.”

It makes me seethe.

Friend pointed me to Andy Borowitz’s Facebook post (11/18/2025) where he shares the transcript of Katie Johnson’s (pseudonym) testimony for a lawsuit she brought against Donald Trump in 2016 for allegedly raping her when she was 13. This led me to Borowitz’s Substack post in which he interviews Kate Manne and discusses the allegations, the media’s tepid response, and the implications of both. Manne states, “Is this proof beyond a reasonable doubt? No. Is this something which we can be absolutely confident happened? I don’t think so. But those are legal standards, not moral ones, and they’re not epistemic ones either. Can we say, if we’re assessing the evidence soberly, that what she says is credible, and can I say I believe her? Absolutely.”

I shared Tanya Eby’s Facebook post (11/19/2025) with my own caption, “Fuck. Yes. I am Piggy. Hear me fucking ROAR” in response to her call, “For every woman out there, for anyone who has ever been abused, for every reporter who is trying to tell the truth, this is the time to embrace your own inner Miss Piggy and speak the truth out loud. Stay centered. Stay rooted. Ask the questions. Embrace your marvelous.”

Harry Shannon posted this on his Instagram page (11/19/2025): “Women reporters will ask Trump difficult questions and suffer his insults while the men in the room look like timid little puppies afraid to upset their master. Are there no men in Washington?” The last sentence landed sideways on me. I understand where it comes from, and it further reinforces our cultural gender dichotomy. Trump’s misogyny and our culture’s tolerance of it is intrinsic by now. And it’s up to all of us, not just men or women, to stand up to it. We are human, and none of us should tolerate for any of us to be treated this way, or for the ‘leader’ of the free world to set such a toxic example.

from Instagram

I could write a dozen Love Notes for Anger. Anger can be an appropriate and healthy response to violations of our core values. But it’s not the vibration I want to emit tonight. What we do with our rage is what matters. And right now the best thing I can think of is to express (and then act productively on) my solidarity with our shared humanity. Whenever I make statements like this I think of Donald Trump, and challenge myself to include him, the most despicable human I can think of right now, in my calls for compassion, kindness, empathy, generosity, etc. 99.5% of me has lost all hope for reconciling his character, and I also believe in miracles. So until we witness divine intervention or something akin, I choose to direct my time, energy, and resources toward the light, like that scene in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince when Dumbledore dies and folks at Hogwarts aim their lit wands to the sky to dissipate the Dark Lord’s black cloud.

We Are Piggy. We’ Got This:

  1. You are worthy of dignity and respect just by virtue of your existence. May I train the fortitude to remind those who deny you this.

2. The defender of humaneness in me calls to the defender of humaneness in you. May we march forward, protecting HUMANITY.

3. I see you. Your humanity is my humanity. May I never forget, and stand up for you when you need me.

4. The first challenger gets dismissed. May the rest of us step up, shoulder to shoulder, and brave the backlash–TOGETHER. Our strength is synergistic.

5. When we see someone’s humanity attacked, may we not only not participate, but may we find the courage to counter. Resist firmly and non-adversarially. We can do it.

6. My Why is connection. My Just Cause is healing relationships and maximizing the greater good through mutual respect. How can we work together this way?

7. Hurt people hurt people, as they say. Wow, LOTS of hurt people walking around now. May you heal your hurt and turn the tide around in your little corner. I hold you up.

8. May your inner Miss Piggy shine. Never let anyone diminish your awesomeness. Own your strength and toss that hair like a queen.

9. We may think love makes us weak and vulnerable. But what greater force is there to drive sacrifice and sustained advocacy? Stoke the love. Stand strong.

10. How do you need me to show up for you? May I do it bravely, lovingly, and with conviction.

11. I know I take my privilege for granted. Your struggles affect me, even if I don’t see it. May I work for your freedom from the worst of our culture.

12. When I witness abuse, may I be a brave upstander and may you join me, leading others to follow.

These turned out better than I anticipated. The call to unity is strong. Let us answer in kind.