I count 47 posts on this blog when I search ‘mindfulness.’ I talk about it almost every day with patients. Of all self-care practices I have acquired over the years, I think this is the most useful. Funny how I did not list it in the stress management post this month? Maybe because I see mindfulness as a way of being more than something I do? It really does bring me peace, for which I am both grateful and proud, as I have trained long to gain its benefits.
If you’re not yet familiar, I recommend starting at www.mindful.org. From their site:
“What is mindfulness?
“Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.
“While mindfulness is something we all naturally possess, it’s more readily available to us when we practice on a daily basis.
“Whenever you bring awareness to what you’re directly experiencing via your senses, or to your state of mind via your thoughts and emotions, you’re being mindful. And there’s growing research showing that when you train your brain to be mindful, you’re actually remodeling the physical structure of your brain.”
Ok so, how do I already do mindfulness well?
–I have a strong informal practice. Often and at any given moment, I drop (or rise) easily into awareness of my environment, the people around me and their signals, and my own physical, mental, and emotional sensations. Even when it’s uncomfortable or painful, I can hold it loosely, with openness and curiosity. I wonder how many times a day I say or think, “Huh,” “What is up with that,” and “How fascinating”? This leads me often to novel questions, which I then express to others, engaging in unexpected ways, which is almost always more rewarding that I anticipate.
–My practice helps me be present to others as they need me. When I attend to what is, resisting the pull toward what I want or what I think should be, I can empathize, validate, and reflect with others, rather than go straight to problem solving, which is seldom what people want or need.
–Mindfulness makes me a more sensitive and agile speaker. As words and expressions form in my head and exit my mouth, I monitor their intent and impact in real time. I speak quickly and at times with sharpness and irreverence, but more often with kindness and passion, and rarely without thought to every word. Is that mindfulness or conscientiousness? Probably something mutually entwined?
–I lead by example. People say they feel peaceful around me, that I have a calming effect. I attribute this to my ability to be with whatever is, in the moment, without (or with minimal) judgment, together with others.
How could my mindfulness practice be better?
–I could establish a formal sitting practice. A daily session of breath and awareness, a mental discipline to quiet the monkey mind, to strengthen my parasympathetic nervous system, would likely make me healthier in all domains. I’m just not quite moved yet to commit. But maybe if it helps my writing…
–I could read more of the masters’ works: Jon Kabat-Zinn, Thich Naht Hanh, Sharon Salzberg, Pema Chodron. Then I’d be more knowledgeable, could maybe explain it better to people whom I think could benefit. ..and if it helps my writing…
–Overall I’m pretty satisfied with current state. I faced trials of the last several years with relative equanimity, and the challenges themselves strengthened my practice. I trust myself to know when I need to do more, because I’m mindful enough already to notice.
What’s already good about our collective mindfulness?
Awareness. John Kabat-Zinn developed Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) as a meditative therapy method for stress management in 1979. I learned nothing about it in medical school or residency. I’d say the first ten years of my career, mind-body medicine was still considered fringy; colleagues would stare blankly or even roll their eyes when I talked about it. Today mindfulness and other techniques of meditation and mind-body practices live in the mainstream, their benefits available to everybody, and fewer people feel self-conscious about participating.
Language. “Be with what is.” “Hold the space.” “Withhold judgment.” “Breathwork.” One could say that mindfulness lingo has infiltrated our general vernacular. Good. These concise phrases can moor us to a mindset of alert and relaxed presence, which makes us calmer, less impulsive, more attuned, and healthier. Words matter; the more we can use them for mutual de-escalation and connection, the better.
Connection. As mindfulness gains awareness and its expressions spread, fellow practitioners can connect more easily in any forum. They become magnets for yet others, and communities form around this attentive way of being which, nourished by strong ties, makes us better leaders by example wherever we go, to whomever we encounter. Jeez, I’m making it sound like a cult.
How could we do better together?
Teach Mindfulness In School. Mindfulness skills are life skills. Learning breath work, body awareness, and mental discipline in iterative, age appropriate ways prepares children and adolescents to tolerate and navigate an ever accelerating world of volatile change and chaos. It would be easy to incorporate skills practice into play, sports, and academics at all stages of brain and social development.
Incorporate Mindfulness Into Leadership Training. Thinking of leaders you admire, what qualities and behaviors make them great? Mine give me their full attention, make me feel seen, heard, and understood. They emote relatably, easily, and appropriately, and also carry themselves with steady, unflappable confidence. They name what is with clarity, desireable and/or not, and hold it peacefully while working consistently for change and improvement. They are honest. Thus they attract and inspire followers rather than coercing them. Healthy mindfulness skills and practice amplify and maximize relational leadership strengths by grounding leaders in self-awareness and self-regulation as foundation for outward action.
Just writing about mindfulness lowers my respiratory rate and helps me attune to myself and my surroundings better. I feel gratitude and peace, confident in my ability to face and manage whatever comes around the corner, satisfied that I have lived the present moment to its fullest. I have very little to regret if I can keep this up.
Healing Through Connection 