Love Notes for Patience

Posted on November 26, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

*deep breaths*

The post office lady. My patient. The airport traffic lady. Holiday highway drivers.
It’s been a day of tense interactions.
In real time, I think to myself, ‘Be kind. Be open, curious, empathetic, generous–walk the talk, omg.’
And then all I can muster is to not snark, snide, and agress back, to wave politely, say thank you, and move on. Couldn’t quite muster the more loving me.
Some days we are not our best selves. It’s okay. We’re doing our best.
We keep practicing patience with ourselves and others. We are enough.

Our world tells us to expect everything now. Our perspective narrows in ways that jeopardize connection and peace. Beware.

2. Something feels off here, and I cannot put my finger on it all the way. Some may say I overthink. I think I just need to understand. Gimme a minute, please.

3. Deep breaths, my love. You’re doing your best. So am I. May we approach each other gently.

4. Thank you so much for your patience with me. Sleep deprivation, menopause, stress, and the state of the world all erode my mind today. Thank you for not throwing me away.

5. Your patience is such a gift to me. Thank you for seeing my efforts to keep up and also do a good (great) job. Please know I do my best for you.

6. You know your truth… You may just not trust it all the way yet. It will become clear over time – let it rise and show itself to the whole of you.

7. Breathe in Hold Breathe out Hold Repeat. It’s okay to feel any emotion. And we can regulate while we wait it out.

8. Consistency over intensity. Small, sustainable change. The results will come. Stick with the program. It will take time. You’ got this.

9. Sometimes it’s most disappointing when we don’t live up to or own standards. We are all works in progress. Every ‘failure’ can help us grow. Keep going.

10. To those who show us patience and forbearance, thank you. May we pay it forward whenever possible. We can all help each other out this way.

11. When you feel harried and anxious, may an infinitely patient soul cross your path, touch your arm, look into your eyes, and share their calm. It will all get done. It’s okay.

12. Their emergency is not necessarily your emergency. There is often time to breathe and approach thoughtfully. Try not to rush, love.

Love Notes for Empathy

Posted on November 25, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

OK friends, I am positively obsessed with the Crowns trilogy by Nicola Tyche, oh my goodness. After binging the books, neglecting all others for two weeks, I started the whole series over almost immediately. I never do this! I found the paperback omnibus on Amazon today and purchased immediately; I’ll mark it up according to my audio bookmarks and hopefully document everything I admire about it here after this 30 day challenge ends. The wickedly twisted plot, heroic character development, and gorgeous prose–I’m easily affected by books, but this is truly beyond. This is the third set of Love Notes inspired by Crowns, and I won’t be surprised if it’s not the last.

What books have affected you deeply? Hmmm, maybe I’ll convene a book club around that question and others one day. That could be different and fun.

When I feel your empathy, I trust you. I open to you. Thank you for this gift of human connection. Please keep offering this to us fellow humans.

2. To the judges therapists nurses law enforcement officers and all who experience the burden of vicarious trauma – may your empathy prevail over burnout.

3. Empathy requires openness and vulnerability – all human connection does. This means risk. May your bravery be rewarded so lavishly that it becomes your nature.

4. Hey friend – I know it can be hard, but let’s try our best to offer our empathy equally to all fellow humans, yes? It’s what we are called to, no?

5. When we come across someone from elsewhere, alone among us locals, may we imagine their feelings and engage with open kindness. It’s the good thing to do.

6. When I lashed out at you in anger and you turned to me in empathy and kindness, you changed me. I am still humbled and convicted from that moment. Thank you.

7. To my friends who bring stories to life – your own or others – thank you for fostering empathy and understandin(g) in us all.

8. Why is empathy so scary sometimes? Seeing ourselves in others, especially in their pain, is painful – thus scary. Let us call forth courage to face all our pain together.

9. “I’ve known this…” sadness grief loneliness anxiety May we all attend to this awareness and honor it.

10. Let us all attune and attend to the empathy of others, let the connection saturate us, so we may offer it widely, every day.

11. Empathy Kindness Compassion Generosity Connection — Regardless where we start, we can land on them all, and we’re all better for it.

12. Are your intentions malicious and hostile? No? then why might you automatically assume another’s are? Let us all practice more generously, please.

Oh I like this set, my friends. Definitely helps to have specific people in mind for each one.
Starting to consider what to do with these 360 love notes at the end of thirty days. Any ideas?

Love Notes for Listening

Posted on November 24, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

When was the last time you felt truly heard and understood? When not?
How well do we really listen to one another?
How much meaning and connection do we miss, without even knowing, and then wonder why our relationships are not better?
Oooo, this one could be fun.

May those close to you attune to you with such fine fidelity that they see and hear you with minimal effort on your part. And you them.

2. May we practice our excellent, present, empathic, and loving listening skills–especially when it’s the most difficult–that’s when we hone mastery!

3. [Written during in flight turbulence] What is your body trying to tell you? Do you hear its signals? What language does it speak? Are you fluent? May you and it connect often and well!

4. When we feel heard, we feel loved. May you feel these multiple times a day, and may you help others feel it, too. This is the best human reciprocity–it’s where love lives.

5. We know we are truly listening when we find ourselves getting more curious as the encounter continues. The potential for connection rises awesomely then!

6. [More turbulence] When you are blessed with someone who truly listens to you, who makes you feel heard, may you notice and appreciate and then emulate!

7. We spend so much of our lives speaking. May your speech land on ears open to your meaning, open to connection and understanding, so you may feel truly heard.

8. When you leave and encounter with me, may you feel seen, heard, understood, accepted, and loved. Then may you pay it forward. The world is just better this way, no?

9. “Listen! You smell something?” Haha! But seriously, our senses do overlap. When we get present, they integrate and synergize! So cool!

10. We are so imperfect, every one of us! But let this not keep us from striving daily to be our best! Practice your excellent listening — it’s worth the effort!

11. I feel so heard by you because you listen not just to my words but you sense context and know what my words me to me, and that is your focus. You are selfless here.