Category Archives: relationship

Roots

Posted on by
Reply
Paraphrase: “No matter how big the world gets; (we) still want/need to return home”

NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

I love my Chinese and Asian heritage.

Do you have Netflix?  What did you get it for?  Daughter wanted it for “Avatar: The Last Air Bender” after we watched the first season on Amazon Prime.  Son wanted it just to have more access to movies.  I resisted.  I finally got it to watch “The Social Dilemma,” as if I could not be an informed citizen without it.  Now we (benefit) from everything on the site. *sigh*

I got into Avatar, not against my will, but not on purpose.  And I’m happy about it.  The voices are all American, but the animation and ethos are Asian.  I’m told the ‘bending’ styles of the four elemental tribes (earth, water, air, fire) are each inspired by a different form of martial art.  The movements of the characters reminded me of old kung fu movies from childhood.  The philosophical expressions also rang familiar.  It was all rather comforting, I bonded with Daughter, and I was sad when it ended.

Then we watched “A Silent Voice”.  I learned that in Asian films dubbed into English, the spoken and subtitled words are different.  Interesting.  Both kids already knew.

Now we’re into “It’s OK to Not Be OK”, which is Korean.  We read the subtitles.  I love seeing people who look like me, even though I don’t understand their language.  There’s only one season.  We will watch a classical Chinese drama next, “Eternal Love”.  That will surely take me back to “Chu Liu Xiang”, my favorite kung fu soap opera ever, whose lead actor at one time (think Dr. Who) shared my last name, 鄭.

Joy Luck Club, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Crazy Rich Asians… How joyous to rediscover some roots, and share them with the kids, too.

Focus, Balance, and Power

Posted on by
Reply

NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

Trying a new format below—a little stream of consciousness inner learning this Thanksgiving… Grateful for much, including small epiphanal gifts of the unfocused mindstate. Hope you all connected well today.

The Discovery

While doing TRX burpees today, I learned again how purposeful visual focus maintains balance.

In the shower, I appreciated how simply closing my eyes seals them against the sting of soap—amazing!

All hail the random genius of evolution:  Every function selected for its highest purpose… but is this really true?

Eyes open or closed, what is the difference?

Sensory integration holds us up

To balance well on one leg:  Plant whole foot on terra firma.  Sense the connections: toes–midfoot–heel–calf–knee–quad/ham–hip flexor/glute–paraspinals/abs–parascapulars–trapezius–neck—head–crown skyward:  One solid chain of simultaneous proprioception.  How strong and stable, as if elongating one’s own core could pull earth to sun.

But with eyes closed, instability immediately ensues. 

I’m forced to lean heavily on internal body cues, but I’m not well-enough attuned.

…What else do we take for granted?

…What calls us to attend now, before we lose our balance when stakes are high?

Presence

What all is happening here, now? 

Do I really see, am I truly present?

Be here.  Finish this task.

Have patience.

Maintain focus.

Practice determined, mindful, inner balance by closing the eyes sometimes.

Sharpen the other senses.

Training activates strength.

Strength, especially the inner kind, affords power—not power over, rather loving power, the ability to effect positive change.

Focus upholds balance.  Balance, properly trained, yields power.

I’ll keep meditating on this.

What do you think?

At My Best

Posted on by
Reply

NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

Tonight’s lesson emerges from my Engaging with Difference class.  It’s a classic “Duh-HA!” (Duh + ah-HA!, thank you Tony & Diane!) epiphany, arising from a novel (to me) and profound mindfulness practice that I plan to adopt permanently.

Duh-HA!  At my best, I am relentlessly curious and ask excellent, open and honest questions.  When I’m hijacked or triggered, I speak in unqualified declarations and generalizations, which I hate. 

What is the worst version of yourself, is it what you loathe most in others?

The practice is Critical Moment Dialogue (CMD), developed by the Personal Leadership folks.  In a nutshell, when I feel “something’s up,” ie I notice some kind of internal hijack occurring in real time, I can choose to react as usual, or do a CMD and find a better way through. 

I reflected on a recent, disconcerting conversation with a colleague.  One of the six elements of CMD practice is attending to physical sensation.  The Duh-HA occurred when I recalled my desire to raise an eyebrow, cock my head, and curl my lip, which manifested as left temporalis muscle tightening.  The CMD exercise helped me understand my subjective experience in that moment:  I felt a disconnect.  My counterpart and I were enacting our usual misunderstanding pattern.  I usually blame him for being vague and self-absorbed, but now I realize that we probably grasp divergent meanings for the words we choose.  Just this one insight, in the instant I apprehended it, reoriented my entire attitude toward him and our future conversations. 

The next time we meet, I can breathe slower and more deeply, and slacken my jaw.  Evoking my commitment to curiosity, I can remember to ask more clarifying questions before making false assumptions and jumping to antagonistic judgments.

Seriously, DUH.  HA!