Category Archives: culture

Rest In Power, King

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https://www.facebook.com/chadwickboseman/photos/a.10154144681649864/10157949281529864

My heart is so heavy this weekend, friends.  Maybe yours is, too.  Humanity lost such a bright star last night.  I post today to collect, for myself in one place, words and videos of and about Chadwick Boseman, so I may return here for inspiration and grace hereafter.  This is my tribute.

Read about his most visible and important body of work, in the space of only seven years.  I wish I had known him sooner.  But I’m sure many would agree, once we knew him, we were mesmerized.  Just seeing him, watching and hearing him speak, we felt an immediate kinship.  Superhero?  Yes, absolutely.  And also someone we could sit down with over a drink and really relate—easily.  At least that’s my fantasy. Through his work, he calls us to be better, to fulfill our potential.

Read about his family and early life experiences, his journey to and through acting, and how he approached his characters and life in general:

In a pop taxonomy of black male nobility, he is cut squarely from the mold of Barack Obama — generally cool-blooded, affable, devoted to unglamorous fundamentals — a figure whom he is doubtlessly on a shortlist to portray in an inevitable epic.

Boseman told me his method of humanizing superhumans begins with searching their pasts. He’s looking for gestational wounds, personal failures, private fears — fissures where the molten ore of experience might harden into steel.

Watch Black moviegoers, young and old, express what he means to them in his portrayal of Wakanda’s King T’Challa in Marvel’s Black Panther. This video made me cry. To see the deep and profound emotions of people who finally see themselves represented on the big screen—why have they had to wait so long? It reminds me of how I cried during Crazy Rich Asians, when I heard Yeh Lai Xiang, a song I grew up listening to, when I heard such familiar words spoken by the characters, when I watched and understood viscerally the meaning of the ma jiang scene. Watch also how Boseman emerges from behind the curtain to meet and embrace each of these fans—see his presence, his empathy, his respect, humility, grace, humor, and magnanimity.

Watch him speak on behalf of his colleagues on their challenges in their industry, and the meaning of their success for themselves and those who will come after them. Watch how he effortlessly inhabits confidence, strength, humility, authenticity, hope, and challenge. See how he graciously accepts accolades while simultaneously conveying a message that we have work yet to do (that’s how I hear it). To be “young, gifted, and Black,” indeed.

Finally, watch—don’t just listen or read, really watch—his 2018 commencement address at his alma mater, Howard University.  See his easy and relaxed, generous and relatable demeanor.  Hear his words—stories of challenge, integrity, perseverance, and generosity—both his and the students’.  Feel his hopes for and blessings on the graduates, and his admonishment to us all, to be better, to lead, to take the harder path, for the sake of those who come after us.  Some brief exerpts: 

But beyond the physical campus, the Hilltop represents the culmination of the intellectual and spiritual journey you have undergone while you were here. You have been climbing this academic slope for at least three or four years. For some of you, maybe even a little bit more. Throughout ancient times, institutions of learning have been built on top of hills to convey that great struggle is required to achieve degrees of enlightenment. Each of you had your own unique difficulties with the hill.

Most of you graduating here today struggled against one or more of the impediments or obstacles I’ve mentioned in order to reach this hill top. When completing a long climb, one first experiences dizziness, disorientation and shortness of breath due to the high altitude, but once you become accustomed to the climb, your mind opens up to the tranquility of the triumph.

As is often the case, those that follow most often enjoy the results of the progress you gained. You love the university enough to struggle with it. Now, I have to ask you that you have to continue to do that even now that you received your demands. Even if you are walking today, you have to continue to do that. Everything that you fought for was not for yourself. It was for those that come after. You could have been disgruntled and transferred, but you fought to be participants in making this institution the best that it can be.

Your freedom of speech was exercised in a way where you can contribute to this place. It also shows that you can contribute to the democracy. The administration and the campus police at the time when I was protesting were not nearly as open-minded as this current one. I know this was a difficult time, but because of both of you, I believe Howard is a few steps closer to the actualization of its potential, the potential that many of us have dreamed for it. Students, your protests are also promising because many of you will leave Howard and enter systems and institutions that have a history of discrimination and marginalization. The fact that you have struggled with this university that you love is a sign that you can use your education to improve the world that you are entering.

…execs of the show called me into their offices and told me how happy they were with my performance. They wanted me to be around for a long time. They said if there was anything that I needed, just let them know. That was my opening. I decided to ask them some simple questions about the background of my character, questions that I felt were pertinent to the plot. Question number one: Where is my father? The exec answered, “Well, he left when you were younger.” Of course. Okay. Okay. Question number two: In this script, it alluded to my mother not being equipped to operate as a good parent, so why exactly did my little brother and I have to go into foster care? Matter-of-factly, he said, “Well, of course she is on heroin”.

That could be real, I guess, but I didn’t want to assume that’s what it was. If we are around here assuming that the black characters in the show are criminals, on drugs and deadbeat parents, then that would probably be stereotypical, wouldn’t it? That word stereotypical lingered. …I was let go from that job on the next day.

…But am I actually black balled. We are hesitant about sending you out to some people right now because there is a stigma that you are difficult. As conflicted as I was before I lost the job, as adamant as I was about the need to speak truth to power, I found myself even more conflicted afterwards. I stand here today knowing that my Howard University education prepared me to play Jackie Robinson, James Brown, Thurgood Marshall and T’Challa.

Graduating class, hear me well on this day. This day, when you have reached the hill top and you are deciding on next jobs, next steps, careers, further education, you would rather find purpose than a job or career. Purpose crosses disciplines. Purpose is an essential element of you. It is the reason you are on the planet at this particular time in history. Your very existence is wrapped up in the things you are here to fulfill. Whatever you choose for a career path, remember, the struggles along the way are only meant to shape you for your purpose. When I dared to challenge the system that would relegate us to victims and stereotypes with no clear historical backgrounds, no hopes or talents, when I questioned that method of portrayal, a different path opened up for me, the path to my destiny.

Our time on this earth is truly short, my friends.  What are we doing with it? 

God bless you, Mr. Boseman, for your shining example.  You are a king of our hearts in so many ways.  Now you rest.  We carry on in your honor.

Share Your Platform

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Hey friends!  I’ve recorded a screen video!  To many of you this may seem no big deal.  But it’s a huge milestone for Luddite me, and who knows when I ever would have tried it if not for Ozan Varol!  Readers of this blog know how much I admire Ozan, a rocket scientist, law professor, all-around benevolent contrarian, and generous sharer of his platform.  …And now you can get a tour of his Inner Circle site from yours truly!

I first found Ozan on my Facebook feed when he wrote about changing people’s minds. It resonated with me immediately. So of course I downloaded his free e-book, signed up for the Weekly Contrarian newsletter, and binge-listened to his Famous Failures podcast. Ozan pointed me to some of my favorite books of 2019, such as Insight by Tasha Eurich and Sex At Dawn by Chris Ryan and Cacilda Jetha.

Throughout 2019 Ozan grew and connected his community of readers.  Christina, Renu, Judith and I participated in the first ever Idea Lab (as they are now known), where three of us each shared a project and we all coached one another through ideas, process, and execution.  Ozan launched the Inner Circle maybe a year ago.  Here readers (I consider us all impending friends) connect around more ideas, projects, challenges, and common interests.  Ozan floats concepts for future blogs, shares resources that spark his curiosity, and generally stimulates thoughtful and wide-ranging collaboration from all over the world.  And oh, my gosh, the people I’m meeting!!

Dr. Karen Shue has recently joined and I really want know better this writer, neuropsychologist, and all around curious being who maintains three websites, see here, here, and here.

Tony Coretto, an apparent modern-day Renaissance man, writes about building the life you want, and he has built quite a life, from what I can tell.

What I appreciate the most about Ozan is how he leads by example.  He grounds his questions in curiosity and openness.  His comments encourage, and also challenge us to broaden our perspectives, as he broadens his own by inviting diverse viewpoints with respect and non-judgment.  There is no shortage of nonconforming views on any given community forum thread.  And yet I never feel animosity or confrontation, not even close.  Opinions are offered, not espoused.  IC folks come to learn, share, commune, and grow, because we see Ozan doing it right along with us.

When Ozan invited me to record the Inner Circle walkthrough video, I had no idea how to do it.  I asked my Facebook friends, and Don came through with Screencast-o-matic.  So user friendly, even I could figure it out in a morning!  It took only three tries, and voila, a viable, extemporaneous tour of a site I love!  And now I have a fun new skill—my horizon is widened and I seek new ventures in which to practice and grow.  Ozan gave such a kind shout out to me and this blog in the walkthrough invitation email.  And now I’m invited to host a community call around a topic of my choice.  Holy cow!  I am so humbled and grateful for it all.

***

I have a mentor at work, who supports me similarly.  So often he has introduced me to other organizational leaders, setting up calls and meetings to share ideas and initiatives.  His introduction affords me some instant ‘street cred’ with people who would not otherwise care to know me.  I don’t take this lightly, and I am beyond appreciative. 

How can I make the most of these most generous opportunities?  How can I be worthy of the possibilities?  It’s not that I feel unworthy; I understand that Ozan and my mentor see real potential in me and want to help me develop it.  I just don’t want to waste a shred of these openhanded gifts.  They lift me.  How can I pay it forward?

What do you do when someone elevates you like this?

***

In these intensely surreal and existentially trying times, people all around me express helplessness.  How can any of us, individually, exert any meaningful agency to change anything for the better when everything everywhere is so colossally out of control?

I believe we can always help.  Each of us occupies a sphere of influence; our attitudes and actions ripple out indirectly many layers beyond.  So, one way I can elevate more people is by sharing my own platform, small as it is (yet).  I used to feel sheepish when much of any post was someone else’s words.  Not so anymore.  When I find pieces that speak to me, that resonate and integrate with my core values and my cause, why not amplify widely? 

Maybe I have some valuable street cred to share, too.

Why Identity Matters

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“You have a Chinese face,” my mom said to me.  I was ten years old, maybe twelve.  I can’t remember how it came up.  But the message was twofold and clear:  1. What makes you different from almost everybody around you is visible.  You cannot hide it, you cannot escape it.  2. People will judge you for it, so like it or not, to them, you represent us—your family, your ethnicity, all people who look like you.

That was it—straightforward truth, unvarnished.  And I understood immediately.  There was a gravity, an importance to her expression.  It was not meant to apply pressure or expectation; Ma was simply teaching me about reality so I would be prepared to meet it when I left home, whether it was at the mall or farther out in the world.  And I felt equipped to meet the challenge.  We lived in an affluent suburb.  My parents are both educated professionals.  They are still leaders in the Chinese community, heading initiatives to liaise with “Americans” in business, government, and news media.  Growing up I was known as the ‘smart’ kid—I fit the Asian nerd stereotype.  And people were impressed that I was also bilingual, could paint classical Chinese art and perform classical Chinese dance, and also play volleyball and win at statewide speech tournaments.  I thought I represented well.

I brought my Chinese-American identity with me to college, where I estimate about 20% of my fellow undergrads were Asian.  In medical school, residency, and now in practice, there are still proportionally more Asians than in the general population—we are an overrepresented minority group among physicians.  But we are still a minority, occupying proportionally few seats in medical and academic leadership. 

Once again I find myself in this strange, middle, white-adjacent space, considering how I can and should use my unique identity for the greater good.  How does an anti-racist message land differently/better/worse when I express it?  How do my white colleagues hear me differently/better/worse from/than my Black and other underrepresented minority colleagues?  Do I have a bridge role to play here?  Or should I keep my head down and my mouth shut (this is unlikely)?

Someone told me recently that our racial (and other) identities do not matter at work.  We should just think of ourselves as doctors, teachers, engineers, CEOs.  I respectfully and vehemently disagree.  If I were ‘just a doctor’ I would not be the only one fluent enough in Mandarin to care for non-English speaking Chinese patients without a translator.  If my Black colleagues were ‘just doctors,’ they would not inspire young Black kids to become doctors themselves.  If women physicians and surgeons were ‘just doctors,’ there would not be so many women physician groups all over social media, where countless of us seek reassurance that we are not insane, weak, and otherwise broken for all of the horrible, unbelievable-yet-totally-believable discriminatory experiences we endure at work in 2020.  And so many of us would not have our own stories of women in medicine who went in front and inspired us, encouraged us, and gave us the wherewithal to follow. 

Medical culture slowly evolves to see and treat patients as whole people, not just sets of diagnoses.  When will we come around to seeing ourselves and our colleagues also as whole people, interconnected, inseparable, and in need of full integration, inside and out?

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The two articles below describe well how our ‘identity blind,’ assimilation-centered work cultures harm our Black colleagues, especially now.  Please take a few minutes to read each, and really try to put yourself in the writers’ shoes.  For us, taking this perspective is a choice; not so for them.

Maintaining Professionalism In The Age of Black Death Is… A Lot  by Shenequa Golding

I just witnessed the lynching of a black man, but don’t worry Ted, I’ll have those deliverables to you end of day.

…If I am to perform my duties for 40 hours a week, it’s asinine to assume that the life I live outside of those 40 hours won’t rear its head. Whether I’m a sleep deprived single mother of two or a struggling college student who really needs this internship to graduate, the belief that only the part of me that fattens your bottom line is allowed in the workplace, is stifling.

This is magnified for young black professionals who are recruited for their culture, but told, in so many words, that their blackness and the struggles that come with it are to be left at the door.

 …Forgive us if our work isn’t up to par, we just saw a lynching. Pardon us if we’re quiet in the Zoom meetings, we’re wondering if we’ll be the next hashtag. Spare some grace if we’re not at the company happy hour, because the hour of joy that most adults look forward to has been stolen from us due to the recent string of black death.

We’re biting our tongues, swallowing our rage and fighting back tears to remain professional because expressing that hurt caused by witnessing black death is considered more unprofessional, than black men and women actually being killed.

So if you can, please, be mindful. Your black employees are dealing with a lot.

7 Things That Need To Be Said About Black Trauma In Predominantly White Workplaces  by Samantha E. Willams

You know what’s worse than America treating racism like a new album that just came out? People moving on like nothing ever happened.

Over the last few weeks, you’ve probably noticed most of your white colleagues have abandoned their outrage over George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, trading it in to enjoy summer’s finest things — sailing, bonfires and lake house getaways. But not us. Those tough and uncomfortable conversations everyone boasted about having have slowed (maybe even stopped), and once again Black trauma in the workplace has been placed back in the hands of Black employees. While I wish I could say everything about this is new or shocking, the truth is we’ve been here before.

…The day was July 7, 2016…  That morning I did all the things one does to “maintain professionalism” because let’s be real, as Black professionals we often feel like we can’t be caught slipping (aka displaying feelings). But when putting my best face forward failed, my colleague asked what was wrong? I explained my stoicism was due to Sterling’s and Castile’s death, which was ultimately the result of the racism and systemic oppression that plagues our country, constantly making Black people a target.

What came next was disappointing but not surprising. Her response was, “Well, did you know him?” In that moment, just as it had in others, it became clear that Black trauma had no place, no weight of relevance in white workplaces. This wouldn’t be the last time Black trauma was ignored, displaced or misunderstood.