Category Archives: gratitude

Ask Me Anything

Posted on by
Reply

NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

Ozan Varol’s Inner Circle is still going strong.  I visit every day to see what people are doing.  Jeff has recently picked up ukulele playing.  Prior to this week I would have spelled ukulele totally wrong.  Ozan will host an Ask Me Anything (AMA) call next week, and solicited questions in advance.  I submitted three.  I never ask questions that I’m unwilling to answer myself, so here goes:

What are you working/playing on now?

Working on:  Mindful, Humble, and Learning Leadership.  Every day feels so intense right now, every encounter important.  I know I’m messing up, but I don’t always notice right away.  So I’m working on awareness, prevention, and accountability.

Playing on:  Piano.  I love our baby grand, and wish daily to commune with it.  Gotta wait for the kids to be up, and when the hubs is not on a call.  I’ll get good at this one song, maybe two, and keep going from there.

What really stands out to you about this year?

Disparity.  Clarity.  Reality.  Humanity.  Never before has it been more clear to me who we are, how we relate, and how everything is interconnected.  Core values, minimum requirements, and default priorities emerge, sometimes in harsh light.  We are called now to be deeply honest, and better.

What unexpected lesson are you really grateful to have learned in 2020?

I have a long way yet to go in truly living out my ideals.  Once again, I see that diligent study and cognitive understanding do not necessarily translate into limbic motivation or competent ability.  But I’m already stronger in my self-compassion practice, understanding that most skills require training to hone, and competence derives from cumulative experience.  So I’m okay.

Hope Ozan finds these questions as fun as I did.

At My Best

Posted on by
Reply

NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

Tonight’s lesson emerges from my Engaging with Difference class.  It’s a classic “Duh-HA!” (Duh + ah-HA!, thank you Tony & Diane!) epiphany, arising from a novel (to me) and profound mindfulness practice that I plan to adopt permanently.

Duh-HA!  At my best, I am relentlessly curious and ask excellent, open and honest questions.  When I’m hijacked or triggered, I speak in unqualified declarations and generalizations, which I hate. 

What is the worst version of yourself, is it what you loathe most in others?

The practice is Critical Moment Dialogue (CMD), developed by the Personal Leadership folks.  In a nutshell, when I feel “something’s up,” ie I notice some kind of internal hijack occurring in real time, I can choose to react as usual, or do a CMD and find a better way through. 

I reflected on a recent, disconcerting conversation with a colleague.  One of the six elements of CMD practice is attending to physical sensation.  The Duh-HA occurred when I recalled my desire to raise an eyebrow, cock my head, and curl my lip, which manifested as left temporalis muscle tightening.  The CMD exercise helped me understand my subjective experience in that moment:  I felt a disconnect.  My counterpart and I were enacting our usual misunderstanding pattern.  I usually blame him for being vague and self-absorbed, but now I realize that we probably grasp divergent meanings for the words we choose.  Just this one insight, in the instant I apprehended it, reoriented my entire attitude toward him and our future conversations. 

The next time we meet, I can breathe slower and more deeply, and slacken my jaw.  Evoking my commitment to curiosity, I can remember to ask more clarifying questions before making false assumptions and jumping to antagonistic judgments.

Seriously, DUH.  HA!

Ode to Teachers

Posted on by
1

NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

How is Son?  Who is Son?  What can I tell you about Son?

Zoom parent teacher conferences are the bomb!!  From the comfort of my own office chair, I met with four of Son’s teachers today and had the most efficient yet meaningful conversations in recent memory. No driving around campus looking for parking, forgetting my school ID in the car, and rushing through the maze of hallways trying to find the right classrooms.  And the teachers, OMG, God bless ‘em. 

They moved everything online back in the spring—heroic.   All summer they prepared for at least three separate and equally challenging contingencies for fall, and at least one department completely reinvented the entire year’s curriculum (all hail PE teachers!).  On Back to School Night I could practically palpate the passion and love for their calling, even in two dimensions and from afar.  I jumped at the chance to talk to them again.

German Teacher assigned literature on coping with change, encouraging students to develop a habit of self-reflection and -regulation through adversity—in a second language—a compound life practice in flexibility.  English Teacher cheers thoughtful dissent and cogent argument.  And Physics Professor and I chatted for 30 minutes on everything from Son’s kinetic tendencies to food as medicine, to intrinsic and extrinsic drivers of longevity, to herd immunity manifestos and how to interpret them. 

Teachers yearn to know their students personally.  Their primary objective and source of fulfillment is the growth and development of young minds toward an infinite future of creativity and independence.  Their enthusiasm is infectious, their feedback to parents invaluable.  Gratitude for all teachers, mine included, moved me deeply today.  May we lift this profound appreciation every day, and uphold all educators accordingly.