Category Archives: gratitude

Paradoxes and Polarities

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Moonset, Sylvan Dale Guest Ranch, Loveland, CO January 2020.
Photo by Karen Cornell, DVM, PhD, DACVS

NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

The last NaBlo of 2020, hallelujah!  I do this for myself, but the views, likes, and comments are rewarding—so thank you all!

Every cloud has a silver lining; every light casts a shadow.

What paradoxes did you experience in 2020?  Here are mine:

  • Unearned vacation
  • Survivor’s guilt
  • Loss of control/autonomy of schedule
  • Loss of social activities/tightening of social bonds
  • Attention toward global humanitarian issues/Focus on intimate relationships
  • Disruption of usual routines/Return to fundamental patterns
  • Things are so bad/So much potential for good

Now some polarities I managed… What were yours?

  • Fear/Acceptance?  Curiosity?  Courage?
  • Self-care/Care for others
  • Doom scroll/Tune it all out
  • There’s nothing I can do, not my problem/I must do everything I can to help, it’s all up to me
  • I belong to this tribe/I reject this tribe
  • Think it through/Take action
  • Burn down the Patriarchy NOW/Culture change happens slowly
  • Intrinsic calling/Extrinsic conformity
  • I’m Awesome!/I will never be good enough
  • Inner peace/Outrage
  • Make sweeping delcarations/Qualify every statement

Wow.  That’s kind of a lot, and pretty complex.  And yet it’s so simple, so Zen. 

Life is an exercise in holding space—physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally—for all that feels like contradiction.  We are here to reconcile it all, to dig it up in order to smooth it out, to make peace in the morass, to turn manure into fertilizer.  The flexibility to hold mutually divergent ideas at the same time, and to move fluidly from one pole to its opposite and back again in dynamic balance—this is my most valuable lesson from this year.

In April I wrote about the best thing that could happen from this pandemic:  Connection.  It’s already happening, and I’m so grateful.  I’m also inspired, empowered, and ambitious for more. 

Can’t wait for 2021.

Pandemic Lesson #1: Flexibility

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

What have you had to be flexible about this year?  What has this taught you?

It’s not that we cannot make plans anymore.  It’s that we must be willing and able to change them, quickly and effectively, if we want to actually get anything done.  Move all primary care and primary/secondary education online?  Done.  Stop flying?  Okay.  Come back to work and school?  Sure.  Wait no, outbreak, go home again, please?  Fine.  Postpone big vacation 3…6 months… indefinitely…  *sigh*…we can deal.

Many of my patients are actually thriving in the new work from home normal.  Without the constant travel, jetlag, business dinners (the quadruple threat to acid reflux:  late, fatty, large, and full of alcohol), and long commutes, they sleep more and better, spend more time with family, exercise more, and eat healthier.  If all goes well, my executive health job may be obsolete in the next decade, hallelujah! 

Not everybody’s doing well, of course.  60% of the workforce still shows up in person; risk, stress, and burnout are very real, and escalating.  The people who are well are those with choice.  They are the privileged ones.

Most of us still don’t know how the new work life balance will look in the coming years, but we hope to retain and expand the flexibility that has given us some sense of agency and control.  Check out this episode of Hidden Brain to hear a Stanford work from home researcher on implications of this augmented world for all of us. 

What flexibility do you wish for in 2021?

Agency and control in the midst of a global pandemic—how ironic!  Pandemic lesson #2 may be Paradox and Polarities… The last 2020 NaBlo…  Wait for it…

Roots

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Paraphrase: “No matter how big the world gets; (we) still want/need to return home”

NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

I love my Chinese and Asian heritage.

Do you have Netflix?  What did you get it for?  Daughter wanted it for “Avatar: The Last Air Bender” after we watched the first season on Amazon Prime.  Son wanted it just to have more access to movies.  I resisted.  I finally got it to watch “The Social Dilemma,” as if I could not be an informed citizen without it.  Now we (benefit) from everything on the site. *sigh*

I got into Avatar, not against my will, but not on purpose.  And I’m happy about it.  The voices are all American, but the animation and ethos are Asian.  I’m told the ‘bending’ styles of the four elemental tribes (earth, water, air, fire) are each inspired by a different form of martial art.  The movements of the characters reminded me of old kung fu movies from childhood.  The philosophical expressions also rang familiar.  It was all rather comforting, I bonded with Daughter, and I was sad when it ended.

Then we watched “A Silent Voice”.  I learned that in Asian films dubbed into English, the spoken and subtitled words are different.  Interesting.  Both kids already knew.

Now we’re into “It’s OK to Not Be OK”, which is Korean.  We read the subtitles.  I love seeing people who look like me, even though I don’t understand their language.  There’s only one season.  We will watch a classical Chinese drama next, “Eternal Love”.  That will surely take me back to “Chu Liu Xiang”, my favorite kung fu soap opera ever, whose lead actor at one time (think Dr. Who) shared my last name, 鄭.

Joy Luck Club, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Crazy Rich Asians… How joyous to rediscover some roots, and share them with the kids, too.