Ok friends, really quick tonight because I’ gotta get to bed on time!

I had a wonderful conversation with an exec recently who senses himself at a threshold. He has been remarkably successful in his career, not only by societal standards of status and income, but by his own ethical standards of leadership and purpose. Now in his mid-fifties, he looks ahead to closing the conventional corporate chapter of his life and opening the next– he’s just not sure what it will be. It’s not likely to be board work, as so many do. He seeks more meaning, more purpose, a legacy that he can be personally proud of, perhaps? I suggested that he work with a coach to help him think/talk through it, and as I listened more, I thought coaching itself may be his calling. I had an inkling that I knew an inspirational phrase for this life stage, this slow burning fire of positive middle-age transition, but I could not locate it.

As I ended my 100 Pregnancies post asserting that we all have agency to respond to and live life as we choose, I thought of another friend whose work is now a morass of chaotic uncertainty due to the current administration. In reply to the post, she messaged me, “As I start to contemplate retirement and what comes after, I feel almost giddy with possibility. It’s almost like I get a do over of that young adult chapter where all doors where open to me, but I felt so duty-bound and worried about making good choices that I didn’t appreciate it. What a luxury to have another chance to appreciate possibility and to pair it with intention and agency!” She is my people, obviously.

I replied (also giddily), “I (spoke) with someone about this age and exactly what you’re describing–like one more, great opportunity to be and do our best–to fully live into our intentions with the benefit of everything we have lived to date!”

Oh, I should tell you all, I have put down Book for now. After a year of trying fitfully and in earnest, it’s just not happening yet. Instead, I feel called to demonstrate and amplify civil political discourse–Healing Through Connection–through continued short form writing and public speaking. I have connected with a wonderful branding coach to help me expand my audience and innovate my method–anything is possible, and I’m attached to nothing. I’m not giving up my day job; it gets better every year, actually, and new collaborative possibilities shine on the horizon. Still, for ten years now I have cultivated and documented this ‘passion project’–a mission to make our relationships better in every domain, using any and all tools and practices that align with my values of honesty, integrity, curiosity, humility, and kindness. It overlaps with and mutually informs my clinical practice–the most cosmic integration that I built myself and also evolved completely organically.

This series of interactions and reflections on my way to the treadmill tonight finally unlocked that inspirational phrase in my memory–The Second Mountain! I listened to this book by David Brooks when it released in 2019:

“Every so often, you meet people who radiate joy—who seem to know why they were put on this earth, who glow with a kind of inner light. Life, for these people, has often followed what we might think of as a two-mountain shape. They get out of school, they start a career, and they begin climbing the mountain they thought they were meant to climb. Their goals on this first mountain are the ones our culture endorses: to be a success, to make your mark, to experience personal happiness. But when they get to the top of that mountain, something happens. They look around and find the view . . . unsatisfying. They realize: This wasn’t my mountain after all. There’s another, bigger mountain out there that is actually my mountain.

“And so they embark on a new journey. On the second mountain, life moves from self-centered to other-centered. They want the things that are truly worth wanting, not the things other people tell them to want. They embrace a life of interdependence, not independence. They surrender to a life of commitment.

“In The Second Mountain, David Brooks explores the four commitments that define a life of meaning and purpose: to a spouse and family, to a vocation, to a philosophy or faith, and to a community. Our personal fulfillment depends on how well we choose and execute these commitments. Brooks looks at a range of people who have lived joyous, committed lives, and who have embraced the necessity and beauty of dependence. He gathers their wisdom on how to choose a partner, how to pick a vocation, how to live out a philosophy, and how we can begin to integrate our commitments into one overriding purpose.

“In short, this book is meant to help us all lead more meaningful lives. But it’s also a provocative social commentary. We live in a society, Brooks argues, that celebrates freedom, that tells us to be true to ourselves, at the expense of surrendering to a cause, rooting ourselves in a neighborhood, binding ourselves to others by social solidarity and love. We have taken individualism to the extreme—and in the process we have torn the social fabric in a thousand different ways. The path to repair is through making deeper commitments. In The Second Mountain, Brooks shows what can happen when we put commitment-making at the center of our lives.”

I’m starting to think this blog, Book (eventually), and my commitment to relational leadership have all been my Second Mountain. Duh-HA! I also feel myself at another threshold now–empty nest and potential for even more personal expansion. Daughter is not the only one getting ready to launch! So might I live yet a Third Mountain?

What precipice meets you right now? How do you feel about it? Where do the feelings manifest in your body? Who else knows and can hold the space, un/certainty, excitement, trepidation, and giddiness with you?

Two more books come to mind, both that I also listened to years ago:
Changing on the Job by Jennifer Garvey Berger and
The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek

So let’s see where and what this all goes, eh? Very exciting!