NaBloPoMo 2023 Debrief

*sigh* All done, my friends.

She sits back, breathes deeply, and looks around in satisfaction.
The house is no more of a pigsty than usual.
Meals were planned and cooked, laundry completed, child chaufferred, workout routine maintained (other than during travel). AND SHE GOT TO BED ON TIME MOST NIGHTS. That may have been the greatest accomplishment–the first NaBlo in 9 attempts that did not cost 30 days of sleep and physical health. WIN.
Another month of daily extemporaneous writing in the books.

Observations, Learnings, Applications

After all this time, I can finally admit and embrace that I am a Night Writer. I can put down anybody else’s advice to get up early and do it in the morning, or even during my days off. That’s just not me. All-nighters are not me, either. My ideal writing time seems to be around 9-11pm. Looking ahead, this feels like a doable schedule for the book. Like workouts, I can aim for 5 nights a week and plan ahead each weekend, so there is routine with flexibility, and long term consistency.

I feel self-conscious writing too much about myself–my own stories, thoughts, feelings, ‘musings’. Navel gazing. Who wants to read that every day? But this desire to connect my own experiences to others’, to make meaning and touch on a larger, more resonant scale–where can I start but with my own lived history? And the ‘lesson’ parts can really come across as pedantic, no? So, I can look for ways to improve my storytelling and delivery, be both personable and knowledgeable–relatable. I want the book to feel like the best clinical encounter–query, intake, reflection, suggestion, action plan, follow up–connecting, learning, empowering, and always forward moving.

Practice makes better. The words are in there, and they don’t have to be fully formed or organized before pulling them out to the page or keyboard. Like icing out of a squeeze bag, ideas and expressions will take shape depending on temperature, pressure, movement, and tip. But regardless of the conditions, output is needed. It can be reshaped later; I just need to sit down regularly and squish it out in the first place. I’ got this.

Though I chose the 30 NaBlo topics a bit haphazardly, they were all meaningful, and the order in which some of them emerged felt organic as I wrote each day. If I were to continue, I’d add curiosity, kindness, and generosity to the list. Redundant, I know. The longer I write this blog, the more times I repeat myself and refer back to pieces I wrote years ago. And it’s okay. It’s just taken me this long to convince myself that I have something useful and relevant, something timeless to contribute, a thing worth amplifying. I had to build up the confidence, make it strong and solid. Now I’m ready.

Writing a book will be different from a blog, and now I have accumulated enough of both discipline and surrender to let some good writing flow from the deeper places. An image of volcanic magma emerges–not spewing in great explosions with atmosphere-darkening ash clouds, but a slow, burbling ooze, hot a pliable, soft and layered, unstoppable yet unobtrusive, solidifying over time to create new islands, smooth and round rather than jagged, places where we can stand together quietly in wonder and explore, from whence new perspective and understanding may grow.

Many thanks to all who have followed along this month. Could the post titles have been more boring? Overall it was not my best published output, but the intent all along was to use this month as personal and public writing lab for book work prep. It feels to me like time and energy well spent, worth the effort, and work I will refer back to often. Now to find the new routine, book and blog juxtaposition/integration? A fun new fork on the writing trail, yay! Or ooo, maybe a convergence. I trust it will all work out, unfold, and emerge in good time and space. Can’t wait.

Education

What are you actively learning these days? How do you look back on/see your formal and informal educations? What do you now most wish you knew at some past seminal time?

What do you study? What do you teach? In which domains do you do both, and what is the balance?

Who teaches you? What do you appreciate about them?

How do I do education well already?
–I suck up learning from almost all possible sources. Lately I revel in what I learn from my kids–pop culture, history omg (their formal humanities education is so much broader and and deeper than mine was), fashion, sailing, ballet, music, relationships. I am a student of life; my major is relationships. My cumulative GPA is strong.
–I study teaching, of trainees, patients, kids, audiences, etc. I make an effort to understand learner’s points of reference, readiness, and goals. I try to meet them there, and help them get where they want to go. I can modify my posture, language, and directiveness or collaborativeness based on needs and dynamics.
–I am open to what I don’t know I don’t know. I am extremely teachable.

How could I do it better?
–I realized years ago that it’s not the remedial student who bothers me. It’s the disengaged one. If a learner is earnestly trying, I will go out of my way to help–stay late, think of different methods, stick with them. But if they don’t want to be there, then I don’t want them there, either. The change in me is dramatic, and it doesn’t serve anyone. So these days, my goal is to be honest about my attitude, call out honesty from learners, and make agreements on how we will hold ourselves and one another accountable for a more optimal relationship. Come to think of it, I could apply this to any relationship, yes?
–I could be more critical, especially of things I read online. If I trust you, I will believe what you tell me, especially if I see you as an authority figure. Thankfully I am often surrounded by realists, cynics, and skeptics, who lead me by their critical example.

How does society to education well already?

Identification and accommodation. Much more now than when I grew up, formal education entities recognize and accommodate the diversity of learning styles and needs. Processes and systems are now in place for nonconventional instruction, schedules, etc.

How could we do better?

Value education of all kinds. I always loved the show Dirty Jobs, hosted by Mike Rowe. It taught us about jobs that keep our world functioning, that we never knew about, and that do not involve four year degrees. No matter how much we evolve toward a knowledge and gig economy, we will always need people to grow and process our food, maintain our machines, build our spaces, etc. As AI and machines integrate into all of our systems, formal and continuing education will need to innovate and keep up, and much of it will still not require university credentials.

Remove financial barriers. For the work that does require collegiate creds, and for the sake of liberal arts learning itself, we have to stop putting people into lifelong debt to pursue scholarly goals. It may not be my place to opine on specifics, and I still have the right to call out the irrational and unjustifiable cost of higher education.

Life skills. Reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic are fundamental skills, yes. So are kindness, curiosity, manners, and effective communication. These days it seems at all levels of education, people need to re/learn how to simply be with other people without getting into fights. Maybe we should make All I Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten required reading every year through post graduate training?

My point in this post, I realize here at the end, is about intellectual humility:
“People who are intellectually humble know that their beliefs, opinions, and viewpoints are fallible because they realize that the evidence on which their beliefs are based could be limited or flawed or that they may not have the expertise or ability to understand and evaluate the evidence. Intellectual humility involves understanding that we can’t fully trust our beliefs and opinions because we might be relying on faulty or incomplete information or are incapable of understanding the details.” For a more academic explanation, see this article from Nature, which I reference here for my own benefit:
“Research on intellectual humility offers an intriguing avenue to safeguard against human errors and biases. Although it cannot eliminate them entirely, recognizing the limitations of knowledge might help to buffer people from some of their more authoritarian, dogmatic, and biased proclivities.”

The more broadly and humbly we approach education of all kinds, both formal and informal, the better we can all learn how to think, which is exponentially more valuable than learning what to think, since information and knowledge now accelerates and changes many times over in a human lifetime. An attitude of lifelong learning and growth prepares us all to be more flexible, agile, and adaptive to the uncertain and volatile world we have created for ourselves.

Learn how best to learn, keep learning and applying, and be better for it all.

Acceptance

Two plutonium bombs in different locations. The only way to save the world is to defuse them at exactly the same 1/10th of a second, but only after the detonation key is deactivated from yet another location. And that cannot happen until the countdown has started, which gives the hero team fifteen minutes to get it all done.
“Okay,” badass girl hero says.
No denial, no, “That can’t be, you’ve got to be kidding me, there must be another way.”
Just, “Okay.”
And they get to it, one step at a time, improvising, committed together and flexing around obstacles one after another. In typical action movie fashion, the villain dies a karmically satisfying death, the heroes prevail, justice is served, and the world never knows it was miliseconds away from nuclear annihilation.
Props if you can name the movie. πŸ˜‰

How do I do acceptance well already?
–I totally get it in my thinking mind; and when the thing I must accept is not emotionally charged, I adapt easily and take everything in stride. Flexibilty helps with this, and my life is generally smooth sailing.
–I’m better able now to recognize when I don’t actually fully accept something–when recognizing it intellectually is not enough to get to peace with it.
–When this happens, I can sit with the discomfort–accept it–and let is pass. I tell myself it’s normal and human to have a hard time with deep inner conflicts, that self-awareness in service of reflection, regulation, and more right action is a lifelong learning journey.

How could I do better?
–I need to find a better bridge between cognitive and emotional acceptance. I understand what is happening. I don’t like it, and get that I don’t have control. I recognize where I have agency and not. And yet, I still end up wallowing in irritation, anger, sadness, and resentment. Less frequently each year than the last, and less severely now than before, but sheesh, how long before I can just roll easier with it all and suffer less, FFS?
–Breathe breathe breathe. Maybe prayer? Writing definitely helps. Keep doing the work.
–Or (and?) just accept that this amount of mild to moderate pain and suffering is just par for the course? Huh.

How does society already do well at acceptance?

Is this mostly about inclusion? So many of my posts this month relate to identity, both individual and collective. No matter who you are or what there is about you, it seems easier now than ever to find those who will see, understand, accept, and even love you. They may not be physically local, but you can find literature, resources, and virtual communities to bond over almost anything, it seems. The caveat is that our culture is so emotionally charged right now, non-acceptance threatens to overtake and drive our collective in- and out-group encounters, dividing us more than uniting, making acceptance something we don’t even strive for anymore.

How could we all do better together?

Ask better questions. What is it that we need to do better at accepting, exactly? Facts? Fundamental disagreements? Conflicting values and goals? Shared ones? What questions will give us clarity on what is, and help us resist the urge to ignore, deny, dismiss, and minimize? How can we get to “Okay,” and move with calm and equanimity, peace and purpose, and even joy, toward what could be? What does “Okay” feel like, when/where have we felt it before, and how did we get there?

Maybe the first steps toward peaceful and productive acceptance, among others, are curiosity, non-judgment, and openness to learning. The primary reward and benefit of true, honest, cognitive and emotional acceptance, and what I long for most, is inner peace. I want this so much because I know that wherever and whenever I have inner peace about something, that peace lifts me. It exudes with a palpable force, and my impact on my surroundings is positive. When my innards are turbulent, conflicted, and agitated, I’m not the only one who suffers.
*sigh*
Onward. It is through the struggles that we grow.