Category Archives: mindfulness

Love Notes for Rest

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No obligations this weekend! I didn’t die from the conditioning workout at Ethos this morning, and even let Mason push me harder at the end of the rope waves round than I would have ever pushed myself. Feelin’ it all in the right bicep, my friends. Getting stronger all the time, woohoooooo!

And now if I want to stay in my house, see and speak to no one, I can! No calls, no errands, no children to ferry, not even Hubs to attend to–he’s on a work trip.

*sigh*

Here are my wishes for rest, friends. May we all get what we need.

  1. Make time and space to let your hair down (proverbially), ya?
    Loosen the muscles, take some deep breaths… Downgear… Aaaahh.

2. Deep breaths, dear darling. You do so much every day — and there is always more. It’s okay to move slowly and rest well.

3. It’s about self-love, I think… This idea that we are only worthy if we run around like headless chickens–FUCK THAT! Rest, my friend. It’s OK.

4. How have you taken care of yourself today? Did you sit down to eat? You deserve the best care you can give. It’s okay to slow down.

5. What does rest, slowing down, taking a breath, do for you? Do you get to do it often enough? I hope so. I hope you get positively oodles of it!!

6. Calm. Peace. Sloooooww… *sigh* Aaahhh — Wishing you so much– just feeeel the de-escalation!

7. Our culture tells us we are not enough. We don’t do enough. We don’t have enough. ENOUGH ALREADY! Life is not about constant hustle. Rest. It’s OK.

8. Picturing a deep, squishy sofa, plush, thick blankets, a rich, warm beverage, and a lovely movie or delicious book. How do you rest? Hope you get to soon!

9. What do you need to rest from today? Wishing you that space and distance, that which gives perspective and grounds you in you.

10. When did you last really rest? Hmm? How did it feel? Can you relive it right now? Can we carry that restful vibe wherever we go?

11. *sigh* Take a deep breath, my friend. You can get through anything this way. Breathe. Rest when you need. It will all get done.

12. Tasks Activity Productivity Accomplishment — All valuable in a full life. Just don’t forget to rest.

Huh. I see a recurring theme here. That says something, no?

Love Notes for Transition

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“We can make peace with this transition—that’s a life skill and practice, no?  What is life but a series of transitions, a practice in adaptation?”
I wrote this to a friend recently. Perhaps we all know this as the nature of life, and still forget during moments of change that we don’t want.

What do I wish for us when we face change? Let’s see what emerges…
Let’s also see how these posts evolve over this month, eh? How can I enhance the words with images? What format will help the feelings land as intended?
When I look back on November 30, what will I see, feel, and think? It’ll go by slow and fast, I bet. Fun and fascinating, as always! Onward:

1. Change coming, eh? Hmmm…
Could be hard… Could be amazing.
How could you make it more of either? Hmmm…

2. Hmmm, change.
Kinda inevitable…
Even change we want
can be hard and stressful–
it’s OK to feel it all!
There is space for the full range
of the feels. 🙂

3. The dance of change–stepping between resistance and acceptance!
May your choreography bring fluid movement and
smooth deliverance to the outcome that serves you.

4. Whatever
Change
Transition
Transformation
you have coming up in life,
I wish you the peace
and stability to ride it
with aplomb.

5. O.M.G.
You’ SO GOT this!
I mean what else isthere to say?
You are amazing and there is every reason
to believe you will meet this transition
like a f*ing BADASS.

6. Everything changes in life.
Growth.
Transformation.
Evolution.
We can breathe our way through,
whatever it is.

7. What transitions
did you dread or resist,
that turned out better than you expected?
How does that experience
position you for new changes
on the horizon?

8. What energy lives
in you for the transistions upcoming?
Where do you feel it?
May it fuel your strength
and fortify your courage!

9. “If I could change the world…” –Eric Clapton
What would that look like?
How would transformation by me in the world
start?

10. You’ GOT THIS!
You’ve made it through
every major life change to date.
Your track record predicts
resilience and success.

11. Change can be hard.
Wishing you all you need to ease the journey:
Friends. Soft, comfy clothes.
Yummy snacks.
And that bright inner light
that shines always.

12. We never actually know
what’s around the corner, do we?
So we can take the changes
in front of us as they come,
one day, one moment,
one breath at a time.
ODOMOBaaT.

So, how was that? I had fun! Let’s see what happens in the next 29 days! So happy to try this with you all!! Let me know your reactions! 😀

Drills and Brushes

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Me, about my Inner Work: “I’ve done all the work I can do with shovels. Now I need drills.”
Astute and honest friend: “Or brushes.”

These last several weeks, new insights about my recurrent emotional patterns have emerged in rapid succession. The mind and body know when it’s time to go deeper, when there is bandwidth, I think. And the more I learn about myself, the more there is to learn, about both myself and the methods of learning. The work is infinite, and sometimes we can take a lighter touch.

Talk therapy, coaching, and books can all help us on our way to self-discovery, -understanding, and -regulation. As Christine reminded me recently, I can hold it all loosely. The Work I have done to date makes me generally calm, open, and relatively equanimitous. I should ask those who know me whether thay agree. I still feel physical effects of agitation, and I tolerate them much better. I notice when an uncomfortable encounter lingers on my psyche, and I explore it without the judgement and anxiety I once did. I recognize the feeling of resolution after working through it, and give myself space to debrief that arc of conflict from trigger to conclusion. Each instance teaches me again and anew.

What books have helped you on your self-exploration journey? See some of my recent ones below. I read more slowly these days, giving myself more time to question, explore, and reflect.

So maybe I don’t actually need drills now (yet? ever?). Maybe brushes, yes–all different kinds. Soft and strong, large and small, brooms to watercolor, wielded with knowledgeable if not expert hands, at appropriately chosen excavation sites, with teams of open, curious, and collegial explorers whose goal is to discover, consider, and tell plausible, informative, relevant, and useful stories, and hold them all loosely and lovingly. And what a perfect season now, both this time of year and this time in my life, to wade a little further into the Work. Nice and slow, gentle and kind, curious, humble, honest, and with integrity. That feels right.

Books:
Years ago — The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford
Why We Love, Helen Fisher
Existential Kink, Carolyn Elliott, PhD
The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk, MD
Romancing the Shadow, Zweig and Wolf
The Self-Led Internal Family Systems Workbook, Tanis Jo Allen, LMSW, ACSW