Category Archives: mindfulness

Love Notes for Remembrance

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May her memory be a blessing.

Today I attended the funeral and life celebration of Mary Deeley, friend of decades, teacher, preacher, and leader of the Sheil Catholic Center community at my alma mater, Northwestern University. Funny, and I think a little divine, that I wrote notes for reunion two nights ago. Father Ken Simpson celebrated the mass today, and I felt at home, seeing so many familiar faces from decades of relationship. Mary’s spouse spoke with love and humor, just as I imagine Mary would have wanted. It was a whirlwind day of smiles, hugs (so many hugs, it was awesome), and memories. What a lovely reminder for what’s important in life (our relationships) and how to spend the finite time and attention we are given (not much at all, and duh, on relationships).

Let’s see if I can do the feelings justice:

  1. Your memory is indeed a blessing. What a beautiful expression. We miss your bodily presence terribly, and we know you are always with us.

2. When we remember those who have passed, may we honor their legacy of love and impact on us by paying it all forward as best we can. 🙂

3. Long before any of us pass, may we share our fondest remembrances of each other. Why wait until the end? Recall and rejoice today!

4. May we honor and respect past versions of ourselves that had to go. They served us until they didn’t and it’s OK to mourn them and keep living.

5. When I come across something that reminds me of you, I try always to mark it somehow. So the cosmos knows about you and how you still matter.

6. “You know, the death rate from life is 100%.” –My very wise patient. We can choose to create the memories worth recalling by living as intentionally as possible now. In love.

7. If/when I lose my memory, I hope the cosmos will let me keep the love above all else. When I see your face, that’s all I need to remember about us.

8. Let us welcome the memories that bring tears. They signal deep connection and remind us of what we share. They make us human. Welcome welcome welcome.

9. First I thought about grief Then about loss. But remembrance is now my preferred frame. It feels more connecting to the love somehow.

10. When that stab of sudden and intense remembrance strikes, may we slow a step, take a breath, and allow it. It’s transient and a blessing through the ether.

11. They say grief can only live where love has already been. That makes it easier to think about, and no easier to feel through… Still, yeah. Love.

12. Sometimes I remember you as if you have already passed. It’s morbid, I know. But it helps me appreciate you now. It awakens me to us.

Huh. I’m pretty happy with these. Onward, my friends.
And we love you, Mary.

Love Notes for Gratitude

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OH but I should wait until Thanksgiving to post this one, right? Oh well, I feel overwhelming gratitude today so I will post this today! The world is better when we express gratitude in real time, no??

What are you grateful for today? How have you already expressed it? How much better is your day, your life, when you do?

With abandon, my friends. Effuse it. Let’s go.

  1. One year I wrote a thank you card a day. It was a centering experience. Maybe I can do it again in the New Year? God knows I have enough CARDS! 😀

2. Thank you for being you, sharing yourself with the rest of us, and not depriving us of the great joy and pleasure of knowing you.

3. Family Friends Teachers Colleagues Good Leaders Kind Strangers — Any human with a kind heart — Thank you all!

4. What is the silliest, most absurd thing that you are really grateful for? I have so many but pretty paper, OMG. Life would just not be as good without it!!

5. Holy COW, so much to be thankful for. And today I feel it especially for all the folks to trust me. What a big privilege and honor.

6. May all of your myriad acts of gratitude be reinforced so you stay motivated to commit them often and with great enthusiasm! More more more please! Thank you!

7. When someone opens up and shares something personal, we need to thank them for it. Because that is an act of bravery and trust, and needs to be acknowledged. Let’s pay attention, k?

8. I think it’s a great idea to always keep on hand paper and pen to write our gratitude down so it is documented and shared. This way it’s amplified and there is more of it in the world.

9. A quarter of this century is almost over! Holy cow! Thank our lucky stars that we are all still here, holding one another up! Let’s keep going, yes?

10. Do you have gratitude rituals? I don’t. But I think practices are more important and easier than rituals… When they are spontaneous and second nature–all the better!

11. I bet you made someone’s life better today and I am grateful for that because it made the world better and that is how we survive the shit show! Thank you!

12. How has gratitude (yours or others’) made your life better today? Wouldn’t it be even better if there were more of it getting tossed around?

Teehee, those came out fast. More where they came from–stay tuned. 🙂

Love Notes for Kindness

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Friend and I shared our stories of stress, struggle, and adversity today. We’d neither planned nor avoided it. The conversation flowed organically in connection and mutual understanding, shared empathy and a desire for each other’s well-being.
Friend reminded me that no matter how we look on the outside, we’re all going through our own things on the inside.
In college I walked to the subway looking apparently unhappy. As I approached a homeless woman on the sidewalk, she said, gesturing to herself and her panhandling spot, “Oh come on, whatever it is, it can’t be as bad as this.” I took it as a sign to be more aware of self and others and grateful for perspective.

So as we begin another work week, let’s see if we can dig a little deeper for that loving kindness, yes?

  1. Every person has our struggles… Most don’t show on the surface, so others likely have no idea. May we take an extra breath before judging, eh?

2. Stick close to the kind people in your life! The best possible outcome is that they rub off on you and the world gets better and better for it! 😀

3. What’s your kindness gesture? I think mine is either hugging or blowing kisses… Or maybe profanity… Or some kind of face… Depends on the situation!

4. That small kindness you were shown just now. Did you notice? Did you acknowledge? Isn’t that just a great practice for connection?

5. Hey hi! Friendly reminder: Being kind definitely includes to yourself! I hope you have many who can keep reminding you – so you never forget!

6. Even people we disagree with and who vote differently from us are actually kind. We can reconcile all of these things – if we ourselves make the kind assumption.

7. What’s an act of big kindness that someone showed you that sticks in your memory? Powerful, no? This is power we all possess and can wield for good!

8. Kindness is love, duh. It’s not flashy, mushy, or headline newsworthy… Or is it? Don’t you feel better when you see stories about it? So let’s go out and love loudly!

9. I’d rather regret being too kind than not kind enough… Sometimes the latter still happens – but less and less. 🙂

10. I think kids are naturally kindn because the innate human trait that seeks connection has not been beaten out of them yet. Be childlike.

11. Food. Stickers. Pretty paper. Whis is how people show me kindness. Oh and quality time. How about you? Who knows this and shows up for you?

12. So many examples of genuine human kindness all over, friends! We can open our eyes and hearts to it all and follow with glorius (and unhinged) abandon!

Trying to keep a little lightness in these love notes from now on. 😉