On the Eve of Re-Entry

Posted on January 18, 2026 by Catherine Cheng, MD

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-59390446

Does the Great British Baking Show make you cry?

Daughter and I watched most of Season 9 (2021) this weekend and I teared up more times than all of 2025 combined. I sat down to write about it, then realized I did that already, back in 2019. So now what? Blog, Cheng. Write what’s on the mind.

Tomorrow I return to work for the first time since New Year’s Eve. 18 days off. I last took this much time away in 2021, a five month leave of absence for family crisis. Wow. I thank my lucky stars for colleagues who so generously cover, so I may leave in total confidence. Here on the eve of re-entry, I feel strongly ambivalent–eager to resume my professional identity and also reluctant to exit the bliss of vacation.

Son and Daughter were home for five and six weeks, respectively, perhaps the longest we have all been together since Son started college in 2022. We took a family trip to London, then Son and I went to Colorado together. I got quality time with both kids, all together and one-on-one. I shake my head at the gift, heart full to bursting. I also see their sibling relationship evolving, which warms me. My momness heart was made for adult children. The bulk of hands-on parenting is complete and now I get to reap the rewards, hallelujah. I did okay; they’re okay!

Son returned to college yesterday; Daughter goes back in two days. I miss them both now more than ever–what is that about? When they were both home for Thanksgiving, twelve weeks after emptying the nest, I realized afresh how anxious I am about their health and well-being when they are here. Out of sight, out of mind is not necessarily a bad thing in parenting, I thought sheepishly. So I knew to expect it this holiday, and managed it a little better, yay! Son has proven himself independent and capable for years now, and Daughter managed herself remarkably maturely her first semester of college. I can safely and confidently loosen my watchful grip and step more fully into advisor mode. Wow.

Everything changes. I should have known that this new life phase would be a longer transition than just those first few months of lone couplehood again after 22 years of 24/7 parenting. It was positively blissful, and these past weeks of whole family togetherness required more psychological adjustment than I had anticipated. I make no assumptions now–how will I feel come Wednesday, when it will be another seven weeks before Kids return? I hold my psyche open to any response. Son will live at home this summer for the first time in four years–three whole months! I cannot wait. If Daughter comes home too, holy cow. We will all re-negotiate new family dynamics–bring it! My conversations and observations with both of them this break make me so proud and grateful–they are my people–curious, creative, sensitive, and mature. I relish the chance to witness their further growth and development.

Bake Off, with its loving and creative connections forged among contestants while they rise to repeated challenges together, this amazing expression of all that is good about people and bringing out our potential for one another, stirs all that I hold dear for myself, my children, my patients, friends, colleagues and the world. Take the risk. Do your best. Support others in doing the same. No wonder it makes me cry.

2026 feels portentious, more so than recent new years. I feel a strong desire to be even more mindful, intentional, alert, and aware of my attention and expenditures. The Opal app continues to mitigate my social media use. I feel less driven now to post and share, and it’s a very good thing. I intend to write a lot more this year. I will do some deeper inner work with Grant Gosch. I will complete at least one, good, unassisted pull up! I will continue to nurture and cultivate the relationships that matter most, and also open myself to any new connections that emerge with that cosmic twinkle I recognize so well. I will trust myself to know when I know, to hold on or let go according to my now well-trained, middle aged intuition.

It’s all good. Maybe I should take a few weeks off at the beginning of every year?

Possibility, Potential, and Intention

Posted on January 11, 2026 by Catherine Cheng, MD

What is your relationship with New Years resolutions?

Mine is ambivalent.

I tend not to label them as such–fear of failure?–and still, every new year beckons toward beginnings and change. I’m still doing Morning Pages more than half the days; I feel okay with my practice here. I’m pretty disciplined in my fitness and slack board routines; I’ve maintained this blog over a decade, and now regularly refill a dozen or so smile jars across the US and one in France… So what do I want to do differently in 2026?

Now that I sit down to think and write about it, I get clarity:
I don’t want or need to do anything different this year. Rather, I want to do more of what matters, get really efficient and effective at it, and make the most of the time, energy and resources I spend.

Time
After listening to Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams, I seriously consider deactivating my Facebook and Instagram accounts. Time and attention spent here connects me easily and often with people around the world who mean a lot to me. I also waste a ton of time scrolling. Son introduced me to the Opal app (not sponsored), which blocks these sites on my phone during work hours and a little on weekends. I plan to use it as a mindfulness tool, to help me be more intentional and aware of my phone use in general.

The best use of my time is with people and on causes I care about. I connect with my favorite folks regularly and the rewards are priceless. Nicola Tyche‘s Crowns Trilogy was recommended to me by Phara. I gifted Book One, North Queen, to Donna and AJ, who have both now finished the series. We will convene soon to “explore the rich terrain laid by the North Queen and her companions.” I am beyond giddy, waiting until after what I anticipate will be a lively, enlightening, and insightful communion before I write about the series here. To be moved by deep, poignant expressions of humanity and share that experience with my people in meaning and connection–I can’t think of anything better, and I intend to do much more of this in 2026.

Energy
Schwartz and Loehr wrote in The Power of Full Engagement that while time is finite, energy is renewable. Thus, with certain practices, we can leverage physiologic patterns during our waking hours and get more done. I shared Schwartz and McCarthy’s HBR article, Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time, with patients for some years. That was before our cultural rhetoric pivoted from overvaluing productivity to now attempting balance with rest and self-care.

I still see value in understanding ultradian rhythms, sensing body cues of attention and energy, and attending to their correlates. But now I question the idea of energy as renewable. I think we all just need to sleep more and better–this is true for me, no question. I have tracked my bedtime since February, 2021. “Lights out 11:30” is the goal and I hit it much more consistently now than then. In these few short years I feel the costs of sleep debt much more tangibly than before, especially since I scaled back masking them with caffeine in 2024.

Now, with heightened awareness of my finite energy reserve, I feel empowered to choose where, with whom, and on what I spend it. I avoid and minimize low meaning, low connection encounters. I rest and gear up for activities and gatherings that matter to me, my relationships, and my life mission. “The world continues to spin out of control, which makes deliberate, concerted, and collaborative effort by you and me and our people that much more important, omfg!” I texted a friend just today.

Resources
I count time and energy among my life resources. Relationships, knowledge, expertise, wisdom, curiosity, empathy, compassion, and idea synthesis and integration also count. How can/do I deploy any/all of these optimally? What greater impact could I make in any domain that matters if/when I do? When I consider the possibilities and potential, the connections, relationships, and causes I could advance that much further if I just dialed something (me!) up a little–wow, that moves me.

So I resolve to continue seeking, exploring, experimenting, reflecting, asking, sharing, collaborating, and living each day like it’s a gift. I resolve to give back to the best of my ability and have a ton of fun doing it. It’s about relationships. Every year I live and observe my fellow humans reinforces this. I will acknowledge and amplify when I see people connecting in love. I will nourish myself with this energy and send it back out stronger, with all the light I can muster.

If I can look back a year from now and see that I did this, or was at least more consistent in the effort, then 2026 will be a year well lived.

What Does Love Make Us?

Posted on December 21, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

“Love makes one weak.” –Soren, War Queen, Nicola Tyche

What think you, friends? Do you agree?

I respectfully disagreed as soon as I heard it the first time (I binged the series twice in a row–looking forward to writing more about it here soon) and each time since (I listen to exerpts repeatedly when the mood strikes), the line prompts me to counter more excitedly. So here is my partial list of what love does make us. What would you add?

Vulnerable.
At risk of being hurt or harmed due to exposure or lack of armor. To many, this equates with weakness. But is it really the same? Love can make us feel endangered, undefended, unarmed, and open to risk of disappointment, pain, abandonment, etc. Vulnerability feels soft and susceptible. And yes, it can seem like weakness. But if we get still and feel into our love, is it weakness that we sense? What does vulnerability in love actually feel like in mind, body, and spirit? I submit that it is giddy, tense, anticipatory, and maybe anxious. It’s a high energy state with an outward facing posture, no? What if we reframed ‘weakness’ in this context as ‘hopeful vulnerability, open to the possibility of harm in service of the great potential for connection’? As Brené Brown writes and says often, vulnerability is the foundation of courage.

Courageous.
Just think of all the brave things love makes us do. We stand up for our loved ones against bullies. The most introverted among us profess our love out loud and in public. We advocate for our most meaningful and heartfelt causes with conviction when love drives. This foundation of courage fuels us from a deeper place, and it is self-sustaining. I think of parental love here more than anything–Lorenzo’s Oil and stay-at-the-intensive-care- bedside-holding-your-baby’s-foot-because-it’s-the-only-part-of-his-body-not-covered-with-lines-or-monitors kind of love. Love makes us strong.

Powerful.
The most memorable and important human movements I can think of are all founded in love. Martin Luther King’s civil rights leadership and LGBTQ advocacy come to mind first. Love is love. That anyone has to fight for the right to live in full expression of their love boggles me. Here we are at the end of 2025 and the fight persists, and I am heartened that the pro-love movement in all its forms continues to show up in strength and power. There may always be opposition, and I am confident that love will always raise us to the challenge to overcome it.

Forgive.
I think this is true. Some of us may be more forgiving by nature, or more so in certain situations. But wronged in the same way by different people, I’m much more willing to forgive if I love you. There is something about the loving relationship, something about preserving the connection, that makes me repair ruptures much more willingly.

Willing.
Come to think of it, I’m much more willing to do a lot of things because I love, aren’t you?

Selfless.
Love makes us put others before ourselves. Parental, romantic, fraternal, platonic, Agape alike–think of all your favorite examples of altruism and sacrifice. Do they not all arise from some form of love? Just think if this were not the case–if love didn’t exist or didn’t have this effect on us. We’d all live in a world of utterly selfish competition, default assholery in front. Yuck.

Grow.
Love makes us stick with things and people. We choose perseverance over escape, at least some of the time. So if we pay attention and work to overcome conflict, if we engage and learn our and others’ patterns, then we grow. We change and evolve, even as we settle more and more into our core selves. Root down and branch out. Awesome.

Better.
Is there anything that makes us better more than love? Empathy, compassion, kindness, generosity, curiosity, humaneness; education, achievement, connection, security–all of these are either grounded in love or secondary to love in importance for our betterment as individuals and society alike.

What if we expressed and acknowledged love more explicitly in more domains? It feels natural in families and among friends, of course. I also love my patients and my colleagues. I made a new friend last week, an executive coach, who expresses love for his clients–he serves as kind and loving truth teller for them, and to hear him describe himself this way just made my heart sing. It’s one thing to operate by default from a place of love, something too few of us do. It’s another level up to consciously own it, profess it, to lead and live all the way into it with intention and purpose.

Oh no, love does not make us weak, dear Soren. I love you and you are, arguably, the strongest character in the trilogy. Your love at all levels makes every other character respect, follow, and love you back with the ardent loyalty and conviction that saves you all.

Love makes us everything good that his human. May we embrace and exude it, my friends.

Healing Through Connection

The Inner Work of Physician-Patient Relationship…And Other Things

Category Archives: relationship

On the Eve of Re-Entry

Possibility, Potential, and Intention

What Does Love Make Us?