We Choose Our Stance

December 2023, before addressing members of the Judiciary on health and wellness

Tomorrow a new presidential administration takes office in the United States.
Wherever you are, whomever you’re with, whatever you’re doing, please be kind–everywhere and every day–but especially here, tomorrow.

I can’t say how long it took me to feel mostly back to normal after November 5, but it was sometime after completing 30 blog posts about the election and political discourse. Regular life resumed and my attention drifted away from politics… until now. I have continued to consume news sparsely, and with critical eye and ear. Still, like many of my progressive friends, I anticipate the next four years with tension and severe concern. I remember the last Trump administration as chaotic and disruptive–an intrusion on my daily life and consciousness–and I expect the next four years to echo that experience. I hold anticipatory stress and fatigue. I know many readers do not necessarily feel the same; I ask you to please hold space, empathy, and compassion for those of us who dread, regardless of how you judge us and the alarm we feel.

That said, I also feel a tremendous sense of opportunity and possibility. We–progressives, conservatives, and everyone else–get another chance to navigate together the unique jungle of a Trump presidency. I feel confident we can count on unprecedented words and actions, regularly occurring shock and dismay, and escalating emotion and rhetoric. To be clear, I expect this from both ends of the political spectrum, not just the people in office and their affiliates. We are humans, susceptible to triggers that provoke the worst in ourselves as well as one another–that trait knows no political identity.

So how do we choose to show up?

These images come to my mind:

https://thekaratekid.fandom.com/wiki/Crane_Kick?file=Daniel_vs_johny.png
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGJX4XukJEA
https://www.economist.com/books-and-arts/2019/08/15/reagan-and-gorbachevs-tantalising-nuclear-talks-in-reykjavik

Adversarial energy.

It’s a fight, we say. They are our political opponents. Everything is on the line–the economy, our personal safety, our civil rights, democracy itself–our very way of life (and consider that had the election gone the other way, these fears would be the same, just expressed by a different subset of people). Transitions of government should not feel this existentially threatening. And here we are.

How much agency do we each, as individuals, recognize and claim, to influence and impact this sense of adversarial doom and conflict? How much do I, one person, believe I can change how we all do the next four years?

“‘What can I do, I’m only one person?’ said seven billion people.”

I think I/we can do a lot.

First, assess our sense of threat and challenge.
These are distinct yet overlapping stress states, with divergent physiologic responses and consequences. In threat we feel fearful and anxious. Heart rate, blood pressure and blood sugar rise, pupils dilate; gut and immune function shut down. It’s fight or flight, live or die. Threat sensation makes us reactive and impulsive; cognition and judgment play minimal if any role in our thoughts and actions here. Challenge, in contrast, is a state of paradoxically calm activation. I think of it as how elite athletes feel before competition, or how I feel before giving a meaningful presentation. We anticipate with excitement and look forward; we lean in. Cardiovascular, endocrine, cognitive, digestive, and immune functions all remain unimpaired. We are alert and open of mind and perception. We feel stable, strong, flexible, agile, and resilient.
In most stress situations we feel both threat and challenge; the key is to recognize the ratio. If we feel more threatened than challenged, what do we need to modify that balance?
In my experience as student, athlete, physician, parent, friend, speaker, writer, and citizen, the better I recognize where my agency lies, the more my stress scale tips solidly toward challenge. With agency comes empowerment; both victim and perpetrator energy yield to creator vitality and vision. I see how I can help invent a better outcome and future rather than succumbing to or wielding war for it.

Second, decide how we want to show up.
Calm. Commited. Respectful. Mature. Professional. Fully in our integrity. Humane.
Present. Curious. Open. Seeking connection. Humble. Generous. Kind.
What happens when we encounter someone who emits these energies? It’s nonverbal and often ineffable; we feel it, even if we don’t recognize it consciously. Then we mirror it–especially, I think, if that person has status or authority over us (think boss, teacher, parent).
If I choose a fighting stance or the hard and unyielding posture of enemy, how does that immediately affect my counterpart’s nervous system, thus determining how they show up to me? I think we can all recall scenarios of internal fight or flight sensation that either escalated or diffused based on the vibrations and actions of those with power over us.
If you have any influence, any status, any power–potential or real–over anyone, please consider how your energy affects those around you.
And I would argue strongly that we all have this power, know it, like it, want it or not.

Today, this image represents the stance I choose, the energies above that I aspire to effuse:

https://www.iemoji.com/view/emoji/2500/smileys-people/palms-up-together#google_vignette

It feels vulnerable, no question.
But make no mistake, it is not weak.

I Never Thought of It That Way by Mónica Guzmán

Pam Kirst over at Catching My Drift and I have started reading/listening to Mónica Guzmán‘s I Never Thought Of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times, or INTOIT(W) (pronounced ‘intuit’), as she refers to it. It’s a book of attitudes, skills, and practices, not unlike my favorite book ever, The Art of Possibility. “INTOIT” is the catch phrase that reminds us how to show up in these ‘dangerously divided times’ to de-escalate and diffuse antagonism, to cultivate, maintain, and strengthen our connections. This book and its author speak directly to my personal activist heart–it’s about talking to people, Hallelujah! And let us be clear–respectfully, Mónica–curiosity in political conversations (or any conversations of conflict) is not fearless; it is courageous. It requires self-awareness, self-regulation, and both objectively and subjectively effective communication skills, executed despite that threat stress sensation.
Later this winter, Pam and I may discuss our reflections of the book live on Instagram. Stay tuned!

Chapters of I Never Thought of It That Way
Chapters of I Never Thought of It That Way

What are the values we perceive as violated by those in power? What values did our advocates violate, in our ‘opponents” perspective?

What do we not know?

What assumptions do we make about our ‘adversaries’, and how do they impair understanding, stoke division, and thus perpetuate conflict?

What do we need to influence others to show up more curious, open, humble, generous, and collaborative?
I think we need to be these things ourselves first.
Like I said, vulnerable.
And thus courageous.

Brave. Curious. Humble.
Strong. Stable. Generous. Kind.
Committed. Discerning.
Do no harm. Take no shit. So maybe 🤲 and also 💪 and 🖖.

My stance may change over time, depending on how I can manage my own state of alarm and distress. It’s possible to be respectful and kind playing contact sports. I commit to practicing and training the attitudes and skills that help me show up to any encounter in ways that align with my values of Agape love and connection, so I may have the fewest relational regrets at the end of my life.
I intend to lead by imperfect and dedicated example.

What stance do you choose?

Books of 2024

122 for the year. Not bad.

Followers of the blog may remember me gushing over Dark Matter, The Code of Us, How to Know a Person, The Natural, and Beastly Beauty. I don’t usually choose a favorite book every year, but Beauty stood out head and shoulders above all others in 2024. It was the book that helped me recover from post-election blues, and that got stolen twice before any others at the book club white elephant exchange. I keep print copies of my favorite books to give away, and there are two of this title in my library waiting to meet their future owners.

I consumed fewer books and almost no podcasts in 2024. Quinn listening took up more time than I will disclose here. And I generated far more output than in previous years: Today was Day 330 of my Morning Pages practice, and I have written more specific material toward Book than in any year since I decided to pursue it in 2015. I wrote letters, cards, emails, and social media posts that I’m proud to have out in the world. So 2024 was a fantastic year for original Chenger Words, even if most of them were not published.

Which of the books below did you also consume?
Which do you recommend?

Pam Kirst and I plan to read I Never Thought of It That Way by Mónica Guzmán starting January 1 and will discuss on our respective Instagram feeds, if anyone wants to join us there: @chenger91

Happy New Year, dear readers. May we all continue to cultivate the healthiest relationships in 2025 and beyond, with ourselves first and then with and among others. Let us all walk together on the shared path toward our favorite selves.

———-

Key to the list below:

[Open bracket: as yet unfinished but not abandoned
[Closed bracket: abandoned]
Bold: favorite
–Dash in front: Repeat read/listen–number of additional times consumed this year
Blue (not shown on WordPress): Romance titles
ARC/ALC: Advance Reader/Listener Copy

Books and Media 2024

  1. [Write a Must-Read, Anjanette Harper
  2. Thick As Thieves, Megan Whalen Turner
  3. [Outlive, Peter Attia
  4. [The Fourth Turning, William Strauss/Neil Howe
  5. Theirs to Cherish, Serena Akeroyd
  6. What Is Health? Peter Sterling
  7. The Lady and the Orc, Finley Fenn
  8. Death’s Obsession, Avina St. Graves
  9. —Sanguine, Sierra Simone–9
  10. —Making Merry, Kerrigan Byrne
  11. Vines, Brynne Asher
  12. Diamonds and Dukes, Lauren Smith
  13. Penthouse Prince: A Lunchtime Romance Read, Lauren Smith
  14. —For Love of Magic, Simon R Green
  15. Hers to Hold, Serena Akeroyd
  16. [Ex-Wife, Ursula Parrott]
  17. The Love Connection, Denise Williams
  18. In Like Flynn, Lauren Smith
  19. —Dr. Off Limits, Louise Bay
  20. The Chasing of Eleanor Vane, Sierra Simone
  21. The Last Crimes of Peregrine Hind, Sierra Simone
  22. The Conquering of Tate the Pious, Sierra Simone
  23. Do Your Worst, Rosie Danan
  24. —Two Pretty Lies, Kelleigh Clare
  25. Kingfisher Lane, Grant Gosch
  26. —Misadventures with a Professor, Sierra Simone
  27. Misadventures of a Curvy Girl,Sierra Simone
  28. Wicked Awakening, Sarah Piper
  29. Wicked Devouring, Sarah Piper
  30. Wicked Ascending, Sarah Piper
  31. Supplicant, Sierra Simone
  32. Tom Lake, Ann Patchett
  33. The True History of The Elephant Man, Michael Howell, Peter Ford
  34. The Awakening of Ivy Leavold, Sierra Simone
  35. Love in the Wild, Emma Castle
  36. [The Little Village of Book Lovers, Nina George
  37. Dr. Single Dad, Louise Bay (ARC)
  38. Kryn, Patricia D Eddy
  39. The Devil Made Me Brew It, Sarah Piper
  40. Dirty Charmer, Emma Chase
  41. Mr. Masters, TL Swan
  42. [The Art of Quiet Influence, Jocelyn Davis
  43. How to Plot a Payback, Melissa Ferguson
  44. —The Art of Possibility, Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander
  45. The Education of Ivy Leavold, Sierra Simone
  46. My Story of Us Zach, Chris Brinkley
  47. The Story of Us Thomas, Chris Brinkley
  48. Why We Remember, Charan Ranganath
  49. –-Perfect Chaos, Jodi Ellen Malpas
  50. The Punishment of Ivy Leavold, Sierra Simone
  51. Mr. Spencer, TL Swan
  52. The Many Lives of Mama Love, Lara Love Hardin
  53. The Knife Man, Wendy Moore–2
  54. My Story of Us Grayson, Chris Brinkley
  55. Beastly Beauty, Jennifer Donnelly–1
  56. Return of the Thief, Megan Whalen Turner
  57. Perfect Liar, Kelleigh Clare (ARC)
  58. Mr. Garcia, TL Swan
  59. Twisted Beautiful Lies Extended Epilogue, Kelleigh Clare
  60. Baby Proposal, Evie Rose–2
  61. The Fae’s Captive, Lily Archer
  62. —Curious, Ian Leslie
  63. Fear and Fortitude, Cheri Champagne
  64. Moira’s Pen, Megan Whalen Turner
  65. Midnight Mass, Sierra Simone
  66. The Rest Is History, Sara Madderson
  67. Dark Matter, Blake Crouch
  68. [Born Liars, Ian Leslie
  69. Let’s Hang Out, Chris Duffy
  70. The Code of Us, Liv Evans
  71. Adrenalized, Phil Collen and Chris Epting
  72. [Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl
  73. Midnight With the Devil, Emma Castle
  74. Duke of Depravity, Scarlett Scott–2
  75. When the Duke Bought a Wife, Mariah Stone
  76. [The Left Hand of God, Paul Hoffman
  77. All Duke and Bothered, Mariah Stone
  78. Her Rake Fiancé, Mariah Stone
  79. Project Duke, Mariah Stone
  80. Betting On the Scoundrel, Mariah Stone
  81. How to Know a Person, David Brooks–2
  82. The Natural, Richard La Ruina
  83. Lost With a Scot, Lauren Smith
  84. —Rory in a Kilt, Anna Durand
  85. Reckless Chance, JD Carothers (ALC)
  86. The Lady’s Command, Stephanie Laurens
  87. A Buccaneer at Heart, Stephanie Laurens
  88. The Daredevil Snared, Stephanie Laurens
  89. Lord of the Privateers, Stephanie Laurens
  90. Dark Wild Night, Christina Lauren
  91. Escaping the Earl, Lauren Smith
  92. White As Snow: Blanche Wood, May Sage
  93. The Earl of Zennor, Lauren Smith
  94. —The Duke’s Twin, Lauren Smith
  95. The Heiress and the Orc, Finley Fenn
  96. The Best Strangers in the World, Ari Shapiro
  97. The Keeper of Happy Endings, Barbara Davis
  98. Sleeping Beauty: Aurora Stephenson, May Sage
  99. The Duke’s Dove, Lauren Smith
  100. —Sweet Liar, Laurelin Paige
  101. –-Sweet Fate, Laurelin Paige
  102. No Rest for the Wicked, Lauren Smith
  103. The Echo of Old Books, Barbara Davis
  104. [Wild, Cheryl Strayed]
  105. Faking With Benefits, Lily Gold
  106. Rival Secrets, JD Carothers (ALC)
  107. —Bossy Brit, Kendall Ryan
  108. [Connie: A Memoir, Connie Chung
  109. You Are Why You Eat, Ramani Durvasula
  110. Midnight Blue, LJ Shen
  111. Groom Gamble, Evie Rose (ARC, ALC)
  112. Waltzing in the Snow: A Regency Christmas Romance, Lauren Smith
  113. [Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous, Gillian Anderson
  114. The Wedding People, Alison Espach
  115. A Very London Christmas, Sara Madderson
  116. [Guns, Germs and Steel, Jared Diamond
  117. Grave Talk, Nick Spalding
  118. Duke of Rath,Mariah Stone
  119. Merry Kissmas, Piper Rayne
  120. Duke of Luhst, Mariah Stone (ALC)
  121. [Once Upon a Christmas Tree: A Valentine Nook Chronicles Prequel, Lulu Moore
  122. [The Will to Live and Other Mysteries, Rachel Naomi Remen

Celebrate the Wins

53# kettle bell, 15 swings, 2 rounds (after one round at 44#), as part of the Ethos HIIT circuit this morning. It’s the heaviest kettle bell swinging I’ve ever done in this setting, woohooooooo!

Got to spend quality time with Son yesterday. Watched two movies together: “My Spy: The Eternal City,” which is the sequel to “My Spy,” which we watched during our 2020 pandemic summer trip, and “Ride On,” a heartwarming father-daughter reunion film starring Jackie Chan and spoken all in Mandarin (highly recommend!).

This post makes 32 in 32 days, my longest blogging streak ever, and #663 total. When I started I thought I’d be happy if I lasted a year. Win.

It occurs to me that four weeks on from the election, political and interpersonal tension may have eased a bit? Possibly the holidays have an abating effect? Another thing to be thankful for, yes? And now I have multiple notes to self, all linked in last night’s post, for when I feel the agitation coming back on–29 anticipatory admonishments to walk my talk.
Once again I’m humbled to realize that I take for granted how easy it is to be open and curious in some contexts. I also too often fail to realize how exponentially harder it is in others–and that is when I fail. But that is why I train–so I may execute more easily and effectively exactly then. This weekend I managed to do better than before–WIN!

Finally finished What Is Health? by Peter Sterling, referenced in Master of Change by Brad Stulberg. What a dense and intense review of basic science and human physiology (basically the first two years of med school), and then the most validating exposition on how it’s our systems that make us sick far more than our individual failings. Listening to the acknowledgements has pointed me to Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond, currently restimulating my non-fiction brain with authority! I wonder if I can muster the attention and focus to finish The Fourth Turning by Strauss & Howe before year’s end? That would be such a win! And I look forward to many more exciting non-fictions in the queue: I Never Thought of It That Way by Monica Guzman, The Amen Effect by Sharon Brous, Possible by William Ury, and Trust by Pete Buttigieg, among others!

Tonight I get to write snail mail, journal, and prepare for a new workweek renewed and refreshed from a lovely long weekend connecting with people who make my life better. So much to look forward to this month, my friends. Now I’m going to light the Christmas tree, make myself a hot beverage, and settle into more words.
It doesn’t get much better than this.