Not perfect. But great.

Friends, I meant to reblog this weeks ago, and it slipped out of my consciousness! I have no interests in Rian’s coaching business, other than I think she is doing great work and contributing positively to the world. Take a look!

Rian Kerfoot's avatarTruth and Cake

Not perfect. But great.

Today I had a wake-up call in my long journey in recovering from perfectionism:

Not showing up is such a waste.

A little backstory: I started my journey as a coach a little over two years ago. In that time, I’ve done a huge amount of self-exploration, growth and healing work and I’ve facilitated a lot of growth for others. My feedback has been consistently amazing. When I say I’m good at what I do, it’s not bragging. It’s simple truth. Truth that’s taken me a long time to wrap my heart and soul around. Truth my ego’s had a field day with: stay small, who are you to shine like that? Downplay, downplay, downplay.

But the thing is, we can’t really help people when we’re exerting so much energy to downplay our gifts.

I’ve been working (with my amazing design partner-in-crime) on creating a website for the past year…

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Chicago 

November Gratitude Shorts, Addendum

I missed Day 13 due to the meeting I mentioned yesterday. Briefly, all day Friday I found myself feeling grateful to live in Chicago. This is rare–most of the time I lament that I live here and look forward to the day I can move back to Colorado. But being among my many passionate and inspiring colleagues, and reconnecting with people from my last 24 years here, I was reminded that this is where I am meant to be now. 
Focusing on anywhere other than where I am now serves me little. The climate bothers me, and I prefer mountains to water. But I live here, and I can visit the Rockies anytime I want. My life is here right now, and it’s a pretty great life. So I will practice gratitude for Chicago more often from now on.  

Lessons From Middle School Drama

November Gratitude Shorts, Day 15

Grateful for the arts today, and theater in particular. This is unusual for me, as I am generally not a theater-goer. But the middle school’s first production of the year occurred this weekend. My son served on crew, so I was excited to see the show!

The students positively awed me with their performance. They adapted three books in what I would describe as visual narrative. The players took turns speaking and acting lines from the books, with minimal props and costumes. The depth of expression these preteens acheived far surpassed my expectations. 

They chose Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson, Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys, and Boy by Roald Dahl. The first two blew me away. As I watched and listened to the autobiographical narratives of one girl’s coming of age during the civil rights movement, and another’s harrowing trauma of Soviet subjugation, I found myself trying to imagine myself in their shoes. 

It makes me wonder, do I do this enough in my work? When I hear my patients’ stories do I try to take their perspective and understand their decision making? I believe I do, mainly because I take the time to ask about their stories. I know this is the best way to counsel them on health behavior change. We make decisions emotionally, and rationalize afterward. So I need to speak to whatever holds meaning for each individual, which I can only know by listening to each person’s story and taking his/her perspective.

A study of medical students by Blatt  et al in 2010 showed that perspective taking can be taught, and can positively impact patient satisfaction. I would argue that it also improves physician satisfaction, and the benefits ripple out to the whole system. 

Where I need to practice perspective taking more is outside the exam room, when I interact with my support staff.  I need to learn more about their workflow, to understand the impact of my frequent and often impromptu requests of them throughout the day.  I need to verify that the stories I tell myself about their behavior at work are accurate (or, likely not–then I need to get curious). I need to ask for and listen to their stories in order to know best how to integrate the team.  I’m so grateful to the middle school drama club and my blogging challenge for helping me uncover this insight tonight. Now to put it into practice tomorrow morning!