Monthly Archives: December 2024

Books of 2024

Posted on by
5

122 for the year. Not bad.

Followers of the blog may remember me gushing over Dark Matter, The Code of Us, How to Know a Person, The Natural, and Beastly Beauty. I don’t usually choose a favorite book every year, but Beauty stood out head and shoulders above all others in 2024. It was the book that helped me recover from post-election blues, and that got stolen twice before any others at the book club white elephant exchange. I keep print copies of my favorite books to give away, and there are two of this title in my library waiting to meet their future owners.

I consumed fewer books and almost no podcasts in 2024. Quinn listening took up more time than I will disclose here. And I generated far more output than in previous years: Today was Day 330 of my Morning Pages practice, and I have written more specific material toward Book than in any year since I decided to pursue it in 2015. I wrote letters, cards, emails, and social media posts that I’m proud to have out in the world. So 2024 was a fantastic year for original Chenger Words, even if most of them were not published.

Which of the books below did you also consume?
Which do you recommend?

Pam Kirst and I plan to read I Never Thought of It That Way by Mónica Guzmán starting January 1 and will discuss on our respective Instagram feeds, if anyone wants to join us there: @chenger91

Happy New Year, dear readers. May we all continue to cultivate the healthiest relationships in 2025 and beyond, with ourselves first and then with and among others. Let us all walk together on the shared path toward our favorite selves.

———-

Key to the list below:

[Open bracket: as yet unfinished but not abandoned
[Closed bracket: abandoned]
Bold: favorite
–Dash in front: Repeat read/listen–number of additional times consumed this year
Blue (not shown on WordPress): Romance titles
ARC/ALC: Advance Reader/Listener Copy

Books and Media 2024

  1. [Write a Must-Read, Anjanette Harper
  2. Thick As Thieves, Megan Whalen Turner
  3. [Outlive, Peter Attia
  4. [The Fourth Turning, William Strauss/Neil Howe
  5. Theirs to Cherish, Serena Akeroyd
  6. What Is Health? Peter Sterling
  7. The Lady and the Orc, Finley Fenn
  8. Death’s Obsession, Avina St. Graves
  9. —Sanguine, Sierra Simone–9
  10. —Making Merry, Kerrigan Byrne
  11. Vines, Brynne Asher
  12. Diamonds and Dukes, Lauren Smith
  13. Penthouse Prince: A Lunchtime Romance Read, Lauren Smith
  14. —For Love of Magic, Simon R Green
  15. Hers to Hold, Serena Akeroyd
  16. [Ex-Wife, Ursula Parrott]
  17. The Love Connection, Denise Williams
  18. In Like Flynn, Lauren Smith
  19. —Dr. Off Limits, Louise Bay
  20. The Chasing of Eleanor Vane, Sierra Simone
  21. The Last Crimes of Peregrine Hind, Sierra Simone
  22. The Conquering of Tate the Pious, Sierra Simone
  23. Do Your Worst, Rosie Danan
  24. —Two Pretty Lies, Kelleigh Clare
  25. Kingfisher Lane, Grant Gosch
  26. —Misadventures with a Professor, Sierra Simone
  27. Misadventures of a Curvy Girl,Sierra Simone
  28. Wicked Awakening, Sarah Piper
  29. Wicked Devouring, Sarah Piper
  30. Wicked Ascending, Sarah Piper
  31. Supplicant, Sierra Simone
  32. Tom Lake, Ann Patchett
  33. The True History of The Elephant Man, Michael Howell, Peter Ford
  34. The Awakening of Ivy Leavold, Sierra Simone
  35. Love in the Wild, Emma Castle
  36. [The Little Village of Book Lovers, Nina George
  37. Dr. Single Dad, Louise Bay (ARC)
  38. Kryn, Patricia D Eddy
  39. The Devil Made Me Brew It, Sarah Piper
  40. Dirty Charmer, Emma Chase
  41. Mr. Masters, TL Swan
  42. [The Art of Quiet Influence, Jocelyn Davis
  43. How to Plot a Payback, Melissa Ferguson
  44. —The Art of Possibility, Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander
  45. The Education of Ivy Leavold, Sierra Simone
  46. My Story of Us Zach, Chris Brinkley
  47. The Story of Us Thomas, Chris Brinkley
  48. Why We Remember, Charan Ranganath
  49. –-Perfect Chaos, Jodi Ellen Malpas
  50. The Punishment of Ivy Leavold, Sierra Simone
  51. Mr. Spencer, TL Swan
  52. The Many Lives of Mama Love, Lara Love Hardin
  53. The Knife Man, Wendy Moore–2
  54. My Story of Us Grayson, Chris Brinkley
  55. Beastly Beauty, Jennifer Donnelly–1
  56. Return of the Thief, Megan Whalen Turner
  57. Perfect Liar, Kelleigh Clare (ARC)
  58. Mr. Garcia, TL Swan
  59. Twisted Beautiful Lies Extended Epilogue, Kelleigh Clare
  60. Baby Proposal, Evie Rose–2
  61. The Fae’s Captive, Lily Archer
  62. —Curious, Ian Leslie
  63. Fear and Fortitude, Cheri Champagne
  64. Moira’s Pen, Megan Whalen Turner
  65. Midnight Mass, Sierra Simone
  66. The Rest Is History, Sara Madderson
  67. Dark Matter, Blake Crouch
  68. [Born Liars, Ian Leslie
  69. Let’s Hang Out, Chris Duffy
  70. The Code of Us, Liv Evans
  71. Adrenalized, Phil Collen and Chris Epting
  72. [Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl
  73. Midnight With the Devil, Emma Castle
  74. Duke of Depravity, Scarlett Scott–2
  75. When the Duke Bought a Wife, Mariah Stone
  76. [The Left Hand of God, Paul Hoffman
  77. All Duke and Bothered, Mariah Stone
  78. Her Rake Fiancé, Mariah Stone
  79. Project Duke, Mariah Stone
  80. Betting On the Scoundrel, Mariah Stone
  81. How to Know a Person, David Brooks–2
  82. The Natural, Richard La Ruina
  83. Lost With a Scot, Lauren Smith
  84. —Rory in a Kilt, Anna Durand
  85. Reckless Chance, JD Carothers (ALC)
  86. The Lady’s Command, Stephanie Laurens
  87. A Buccaneer at Heart, Stephanie Laurens
  88. The Daredevil Snared, Stephanie Laurens
  89. Lord of the Privateers, Stephanie Laurens
  90. Dark Wild Night, Christina Lauren
  91. Escaping the Earl, Lauren Smith
  92. White As Snow: Blanche Wood, May Sage
  93. The Earl of Zennor, Lauren Smith
  94. —The Duke’s Twin, Lauren Smith
  95. The Heiress and the Orc, Finley Fenn
  96. The Best Strangers in the World, Ari Shapiro
  97. The Keeper of Happy Endings, Barbara Davis
  98. Sleeping Beauty: Aurora Stephenson, May Sage
  99. The Duke’s Dove, Lauren Smith
  100. —Sweet Liar, Laurelin Paige
  101. –-Sweet Fate, Laurelin Paige
  102. No Rest for the Wicked, Lauren Smith
  103. The Echo of Old Books, Barbara Davis
  104. [Wild, Cheryl Strayed]
  105. Faking With Benefits, Lily Gold
  106. Rival Secrets, JD Carothers (ALC)
  107. —Bossy Brit, Kendall Ryan
  108. [Connie: A Memoir, Connie Chung
  109. You Are Why You Eat, Ramani Durvasula
  110. Midnight Blue, LJ Shen
  111. Groom Gamble, Evie Rose (ARC, ALC)
  112. Waltzing in the Snow: A Regency Christmas Romance, Lauren Smith
  113. [Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous, Gillian Anderson
  114. The Wedding People, Alison Espach
  115. A Very London Christmas, Sara Madderson
  116. [Guns, Germs and Steel, Jared Diamond
  117. Grave Talk, Nick Spalding
  118. Duke of Rath,Mariah Stone
  119. Merry Kissmas, Piper Rayne
  120. Duke of Luhst, Mariah Stone (ALC)
  121. [Once Upon a Christmas Tree: A Valentine Nook Chronicles Prequel, Lulu Moore
  122. [The Will to Live and Other Mysteries, Rachel Naomi Remen

Healing Through Connection: 2024 in the Rearview

Posted on by
Reply

When we find our people, we can truly be ourselves.

How are we, my friends?

What are we looking/thinking/listening through from 2024? What catches our attention, stands out? How do we feel in mind, body, spirit, and soul from/for it all?

What emerges for me:
Community. Belonging. Liberation. Sharing. Healing with Help.

Readers of this blog know about Ethos, my gym. Tim and Victoria named it aptly, and now Tim and Cory operate it with integrity and vision: “Train. Recover. Connect.” What other gym prioritizes relationship in its mission and tagline? These are my people! I worried that moving from a small garden unit in River North to a space almost three times larger in Roscoe Village would somehow alter the culture–the ethos–one never knows what can happen with such transitions. Happily, I think it has only grown stronger, and now there is space for more of us to benefit. It doesn’t matter who you are, how much you lift, your age, or whatever. If you bring your full self and engage, you’re one of us–because we all make it so. It’s amazing. Of note, making friends in their 20s and 30s and outside of medicine has broadened my perspective and improved my life more than I knew I needed, and I could not be more grateful. We never know who our people may include until we meet them.

So go the leaders, so go the led.

In any domain, culture is influenced most strongly by the designated leaders, the ones with authority and power. This year I found AJ: Musician, composer, Quinn creator, animal lover, motorbike enthusiast, filmmaker, amateur home DIY engineer, and all around beautiful human. His fans call ourselves Angels, a fast growing community drawn together principally in admiration for AJ, and bonded in various other ways. Watch any of AJ’s videos on TikTok or read his Instagram posts to see this humble, curious, funny, loving, and nerdy man connect with his fan group in the most wholesome, extemporaneous, and unassuming ways. Listen to his Quinn audios to experience soft and strong, dominant and submissive, gentle and powerful, masculine and feminine humanity in all our complexity, brought to life with voice only, and know why we hit play over 250,000 times since he started creating them in June. By December 16 we had listened a total of over 1.7 million minutes–almost 3.5 years.

During the 4+ hour holiday live stream today when he shared and then responded to messages from Angels around the world, I was floored by the power and energy of mutual uplift between AJ and us. Yes, he has amassed a following that lifts and amplifies him and his work. He has also gathered and cultivated, just by being himself, a tribe of women who lift one another in empathic, present, compassionate, and utterly humane love. Listeners comment on how his content and community create the safety to be fully ourselves that we experience no place else. That is profound. It’s all him, and also not–it’s all of us, together, amplifying one another. By the end of the live stream AJ himself reflected on how desperately this reciprocally loving and accepting energy is needed in the world. So now it’s his and the Angels’ mission to spread it. He leads by dynamic and responsive example. And while he’s most visible as a strong male ally of women in this space, I am sure that his example will also reach, move, and support men–those ready to more fully integrate their emotional selves and connect more deeply and meaningfully with women, other men, and non-binary people alike.

Be a candle. Use your light to light others. Your light diminishes not at all for the effort, and there is only more light in the world.

In case you wonder, yes, I am still immersed in the romance audio universe and loving every moment. The friends I have made around the world from Colorado to Oregon to the UK and Australia form yet another community of mutual uplift, with its own unique and loving vibe. This tribe introduced me to Quinn, the app for audio erotica. This new immersion has taken my sexual education to the next level, and sharing my learning has benefited more than just myself. I know I am far from alone in this expansion, and as AJ’s Angels express repeatedly, the Quinn messages of self- and other-acceptance, love, and uplift heal and save us all.

Communities like Ethos, Angels, and romance audio gather, enfold, champion, and strengthen parts of ourselves that we may otherwise minimize, repress, or even reject. Such loving and uplifting communities help make us whole. Enveloped in such ardent belonging, we are liberated to truly be and express our real, unmitigated selves, no matter how quirky, weird, or previously outcast.

Looking ahead to 2025, I will work to continue forging Community everywhere I am. I will point out shared humanity across difference and divergence whenever, wherever, and with whomever I see and hear it. Our people inhabit more diverse spaces than we know or admit. My conversations since the American presidential election continue to teach me this. I could not have known 9.7 years ago how aptly I named this blog.

Healing Through Connection.

That pretty much says it all.

Continuity

Posted on by
Reply

I know you.

It has taken time.
Our initial meeting may or may not have facilitated it.
You may or may not have made it easy.
I persisted.
And now we have been through things together.
It has been well worth the effort and energy.

You know me.
This is easy, as I wear my heart on my sleeve–always have.
It doesn’t take much to know me; but I don’t let just anybody in.
I give the benefit of the doubt; I also trust my protective instincts.

Time.
There is no substitute.
And it’s not enough.
Knowing requires engagement, intentional and volitional.
Time helps, providing opportunity, enabling continuity.

With enough time and encounters, knowing emerges organically.
Over years and decades it becomes intuitive, if we pay attention.

I see you. I think of you when I see things you like.
I hear you–not just when you speak, but when you cross my mind.
I anticipate your words and expressions in response to ideas and opinions.
I know you.

Knowing and feeling known nourish us.
No matter the context.
We are wired to connect–to one another, our fellow humans.
Meeting over and again, small and big moments alike, each building on the last.
Memories accumulating, recollections shared.

Life unfolds.
We are who we are at our core, and continue to be so.
We also learn, grow, and evolve.
Change and stay the same.
Those who know us see no contradiction here.
Rather, known in our wholeness over time, in continuity, we all make sense.

This season, may we reflect on and consider how we know and are known.
May we find the courage and resolution to express and connect in depth and meaning.
May we practice openness, curiosity, non-judgment, and acceptance more than other things.
May our relationships strengthen and tighten in the best ways.

In this life, our relationships save us.
Continuity of connection, if we have the fortune, is a priceless gift.
Let us not take it for granted.