Category Archives: gratitude

Bit Post: Squishy and Strong

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Last week’s last set: 10 reps, 130#

4 x 10: 95-125-135-145#
(last set actually x 11)

I PR’d my trap bar deadlift today, woohooooooo!! I can now reliably lift at least my own body weight, and it was not that hard!

I knew it was possible so I asked my friends to take a video– Thanks, Elle! The last PR was some weeks ago, 135#, 6 reps; I remember it feeling moderately difficult but not impossible, so I looked forward to this block to advance the weight. Today, in the third and final week of this program, I was confident. And I killed it, if I do say so myself (I even got in one extra rep at the end, having lost count and wanting to make sure I did all ten)! I feel strong!

The day unfolded one task after another, and I only saw the video hours later.
First thought: Look at all those cutaneous fat rolls, eew! Gymwear does not necessarily flatter the perimenopausal body, I say–especially when it was purchased a decade before said menopause began, HA!

But you know what? I’m okay with it. I have pulled and pushed more weight the past week–the past 20 months, actually–than I have in my entire life. I have made remarkable progress and learned so much about my body. I’ve had pain (my body ‘talking to me’, as Jacob says) in my left glute, right forearm, left knee, low back, and right shoulder. I can always modify a movement to protect a vulnerable spot while still strengthening it, thanks to my amazing coaches. Now I need to work on grip strength (hello dead hang, omg) so I can keep loading for more weight and reps, woohooooooooo!

So really, who cares if I’m a little squishy on the outside? I carry it well.

I am well on my way to being a Strong Old Lady. I feel great body, mind, and spirit, and that’s what matters. And I can shop for more flattering clothes if I want.

To my fellow old-ish ladies: Keep pushing. Find your people. Let your body surprise you with its capacity and resilience. Have fun!

Life is short and we are here to cheer one another on!

Squishy and Strong, my friends. It’s all good.

Celebrate the Wins

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53# kettle bell, 15 swings, 2 rounds (after one round at 44#), as part of the Ethos HIIT circuit this morning. It’s the heaviest kettle bell swinging I’ve ever done in this setting, woohooooooo!

Got to spend quality time with Son yesterday. Watched two movies together: “My Spy: The Eternal City,” which is the sequel to “My Spy,” which we watched during our 2020 pandemic summer trip, and “Ride On,” a heartwarming father-daughter reunion film starring Jackie Chan and spoken all in Mandarin (highly recommend!).

This post makes 32 in 32 days, my longest blogging streak ever, and #663 total. When I started I thought I’d be happy if I lasted a year. Win.

It occurs to me that four weeks on from the election, political and interpersonal tension may have eased a bit? Possibly the holidays have an abating effect? Another thing to be thankful for, yes? And now I have multiple notes to self, all linked in last night’s post, for when I feel the agitation coming back on–29 anticipatory admonishments to walk my talk.
Once again I’m humbled to realize that I take for granted how easy it is to be open and curious in some contexts. I also too often fail to realize how exponentially harder it is in others–and that is when I fail. But that is why I train–so I may execute more easily and effectively exactly then. This weekend I managed to do better than before–WIN!

Finally finished What Is Health? by Peter Sterling, referenced in Master of Change by Brad Stulberg. What a dense and intense review of basic science and human physiology (basically the first two years of med school), and then the most validating exposition on how it’s our systems that make us sick far more than our individual failings. Listening to the acknowledgements has pointed me to Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond, currently restimulating my non-fiction brain with authority! I wonder if I can muster the attention and focus to finish The Fourth Turning by Strauss & Howe before year’s end? That would be such a win! And I look forward to many more exciting non-fictions in the queue: I Never Thought of It That Way by Monica Guzman, The Amen Effect by Sharon Brous, Possible by William Ury, and Trust by Pete Buttigieg, among others!

Tonight I get to write snail mail, journal, and prepare for a new workweek renewed and refreshed from a lovely long weekend connecting with people who make my life better. So much to look forward to this month, my friends. Now I’m going to light the Christmas tree, make myself a hot beverage, and settle into more words.
It doesn’t get much better than this.

Holding On

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Friends, it’s late. It’s Son’s last night at home for break, so we watched movies.
It was glorious.

How was this November for us all? Intense, thick, and full of emotion, I’d say.
Tonight I feel fulfilled and connected, for which I am truly grateful.
Thank you to all who have followed along these thirty days, this tenth year.
Not sure if I will do this again; I have eleven months to decide.
What did we Hold this NaBlo? Let’s review:

  1. Wholeness
  2. Regret
  3. Fear
  4. Fortitude
  5. Gentleness
  6. Space
  7. the Energies
  8. the Work
  9. Awareness
  10. What Helps
  11. Stories of Humanity
  12. Connection
  13. Patience
  14. Presence
  15. Resonance
  16. Polarity
  17. Allyship
  18. Perspective
  19. Understanding
  20. Love
  21. the Activist Heart
  22. the Questions
  23. Honesty
  24. Courage
  25. Strengths
  26. Accountability
  27. Rest
  28. Appreciation
  29. Belonging

I will reread these posts and the intention that initiated them in the coming days and weeks. It felt relevant to write about all of these practices–because looking back, most of them really are practices, not just ideas–with regard to the election and political discourse this month, this year. Yet each post applies to all relationships and all communication.
I intend to continue reflecting, sharing, learning, growing, and connecting.

This holiday season, let us slow down, de-escalate, and focus on the things that matter most. Let us find non-adversarial, respectful, and equanimitous approaches to disagreement, conflict, and collaboration across difference. Let us breathe deeply. Let us make more generous assumptions, speak more humbly, and withhold closure and judgment just a little longer. May open and honest curiosity lead us more than prejudice and bias.

I feel an urgent need to advance and elect people who model these skills exponentially better than those in office today. That is a big lift; I still vacillate between optimism and cynicism for this dream, and for human relationships in general sometimes. Still, we cannot know unless we try. The path remains long and tortuous, so we must help one another train for the journey. The work will outlive me, and likely anyone who reads these words. So Train, Recover, and Connect as my friends at Ethos say–we must stay fit to persist.

The only way out is through; the best way through is together. One breath at a time.

I Hold On for Us tonight and hereafter, my friends. Hold on to our friendships, our loyalties, our connections, our integrity, and our commitments to one another. Let go meanness, petty gibes, ad hominem, and ugliness in general. Hold on to decency, generosity, humility, compassion, and hope.

Onward, friends. One. breath. at a time.