Love Notes for Remembrance

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

May her memory be a blessing.

Today I attended the funeral and life celebration of Mary Deeley, friend of decades, teacher, preacher, and leader of the Sheil Catholic Center community at my alma mater, Northwestern University. Funny, and I think a little divine, that I wrote notes for reunion two nights ago. Father Ken Simpson celebrated the mass today, and I felt at home, seeing so many familiar faces from decades of relationship. Mary’s spouse spoke with love and humor, just as I imagine Mary would have wanted. It was a whirlwind day of smiles, hugs (so many hugs, it was awesome), and memories. What a lovely reminder for what’s important in life (our relationships) and how to spend the finite time and attention we are given (not much at all, and duh, on relationships).

Let’s see if I can do the feelings justice:

Your memory is indeed a blessing. What a beautiful expression. We miss your bodily presence terribly, and we know you are always with us.

2. When we remember those who have passed, may we honor their legacy of love and impact on us by paying it all forward as best we can. 🙂

3. Long before any of us pass, may we share our fondest remembrances of each other. Why wait until the end? Recall and rejoice today!

4. May we honor and respect past versions of ourselves that had to go. They served us until they didn’t and it’s OK to mourn them and keep living.

5. When I come across something that reminds me of you, I try always to mark it somehow. So the cosmos knows about you and how you still matter.

6. “You know, the death rate from life is 100%.” –My very wise patient. We can choose to create the memories worth recalling by living as intentionally as possible now. In love.

7. If/when I lose my memory, I hope the cosmos will let me keep the love above all else. When I see your face, that’s all I need to remember about us.

8. Let us welcome the memories that bring tears. They signal deep connection and remind us of what we share. They make us human. Welcome welcome welcome.

9. First I thought about grief Then about loss. But remembrance is now my preferred frame. It feels more connecting to the love somehow.

10. When that stab of sudden and intense remembrance strikes, may we slow a step, take a breath, and allow it. It’s transient and a blessing through the ether.

11. They say grief can only live where love has already been. That makes it easier to think about, and no easier to feel through… Still, yeah. Love.

12. Sometimes I remember you as if you have already passed. It’s morbid, I know. But it helps me appreciate you now. It awakens me to us.

Huh. I’m pretty happy with these. Onward, my friends.
And we love you, Mary.

Love Notes for Friendship

Posted on November 12, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

How did it take twelve days to come up with this one??
I am surrounded by such amazing people everywhere and I marvel at it every day.
Today was particularly amazing–at the gym, at lunch, over text, and in snail mail.
Our relationships save us, my friends. Let us cultivate them with care and attention.

Age Race Profession Country of origin Religion — Friendship can connect us across all of these boundaries and more, if we let it.

2. From ‘On Friendhip’ — Kahlil Gibran When you part from your friend, you grieve not; for that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

3. Relationships evolve. Friends may come and go, and come back again. We can welcome and roll with it all. We’re all human. We all change. It’s all okay.

4. It’s not gifts, words, or meals shared, necessarily. It’s presence, I think. Intentional attunement, attention, and resonance to energy. Friendship.

5. Dear friends: Find them, be them: Kind – Generous – Fun – Open – Curious – Empathic – Supportive – Nonjudgmental – Loyal – Honest – Present – Accountable.

6. I wish you friends like I have! And that is the best wish I can ever bestow, because I have the BEST f*ing friends EVER!

7. May your people always be at your elbow and your fingertips, not only when you need their support in struggle, but when you celebrate everything good!

8. We all need that one friend who will show up for us no matter what. No questions. No judgments. ‘Move a body friends,’ I think Brene Brown calls them. Hell yes.

9. Bee butts. Eileen sends me photos when she sees them because she knows how much I love them. May you have at least one bee butt friend.

10. I knoe you’re my friend because you are honest. I know you are honest because you tell me hard truths. And you do it kindly. Like I said, you’re my friend.

11. This is exciting! We just never know when, where, or how we will meet our next great friend! It could be anywhere, anytime! AnyONE! How AWESOME is that!?

12. I think we all need more collage frames to display all of those silly candid photos of friends being silly and joyful together, just being themselves.

144 of 360 completed, friends! And I think this daily dozen project is going well so far! I’m still having fun, and my process efficiency improves by the day. The notes are stacking up, though. Still contemplating what I will do with them all after the month ends! Ideas are welcome! More tomorrow!

Love Notes for Gratitude

Posted on November 11, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

OH but I should wait until Thanksgiving to post this one, right? Oh well, I feel overwhelming gratitude today so I will post this today! The world is better when we express gratitude in real time, no??

What are you grateful for today? How have you already expressed it? How much better is your day, your life, when you do?

With abandon, my friends. Effuse it. Let’s go.

One year I wrote a thank you card a day. It was a centering experience. Maybe I can do it again in the New Year? God knows I have enough CARDS! 😀

2. Thank you for being you, sharing yourself with the rest of us, and not depriving us of the great joy and pleasure of knowing you.

3. Family Friends Teachers Colleagues Good Leaders Kind Strangers — Any human with a kind heart — Thank you all!

4. What is the silliest, most absurd thing that you are really grateful for? I have so many but pretty paper, OMG. Life would just not be as good without it!!

5. Holy COW, so much to be thankful for. And today I feel it especially for all the folks to trust me. What a big privilege and honor.

6. May all of your myriad acts of gratitude be reinforced so you stay motivated to commit them often and with great enthusiasm! More more more please! Thank you!

7. When someone opens up and shares something personal, we need to thank them for it. Because that is an act of bravery and trust, and needs to be acknowledged. Let’s pay attention, k?

8. I think it’s a great idea to always keep on hand paper and pen to write our gratitude down so it is documented and shared. This way it’s amplified and there is more of it in the world.

9. A quarter of this century is almost over! Holy cow! Thank our lucky stars that we are all still here, holding one another up! Let’s keep going, yes?

10. Do you have gratitude rituals? I don’t. But I think practices are more important and easier than rituals… When they are spontaneous and second nature–all the better!

11. I bet you made someone’s life better today and I am grateful for that because it made the world better and that is how we survive the shit show! Thank you!