Flow Onward, My Friends.

Miffy, London, January 2026

2026, Day 4.

Howzit so far, friends? What do you see, hear, feel, think? Any anticipations and/or dreads?

It’s all a big jumble for me at the moment. Ambivalence, paradox, transition, uncertainty, determination, commitment, divergence, deep gratitude, high potential, and so much connection I can barely comprehend. A bit mindbending.

So I practice being with it. It just is, and I get to make my own meaning from it. Daughter and I agreed today, walking around Mayfair, that grounding in gratitude makes life better. I think I improve each year in this practice. I feel anger less often and less intensely now than ever despite the state of the world, remarkably–that’s a win. It’s not because I care less; rather I’m learning to spend my time, energy, and resources more mindfully and intentionally. Anxiety, frustration, and profanity still overtake my consciousness sometimes–how can they not? I still have much work to accept it all for myself and others–to witness and hold space for us all in our undulating distress.

Looking back at the 2025 book list, I wonder how I can structure my consumption to better balance the unfinished titles with new ones? I’m what they call a mood reader(listener), I think… Maybe in 2026 I’ll include start and finish dates and see what patterns emerge; that could be a fun and enlightening experiment!

What could I consider a resolution this year? Book work wobbled in 2025; 2026 could see a transition to solid output in that and other writing, while I maintain this blog well into year eleven. I have a plan for Lunar New Year greetings that makes me smile–yet another project that could distract from Book, uh-oh. Maybe the Opal app will help? Son recommended it; I have successfully mitigated social media on my phone for 8 hours per work day and a few hours on the weekend. Here’s hoping I can rewire my reward centers a bit in 2026! Meanwhile, the need to further moderate calories continues to persist and progress–menopause allostasis, friends, I’ got this–I can adapt ad hoc, ad infinitum. Because that is the way of nature, and I am part of nature.

Wrote some jar smiles for a friend last night that felt good:

2026: Hope. Love. Peace. Connection. Meaning. Wisdom. Empathy. Forebearance. Perseverance. Just as always! Because we are us. We. Are. Love.

How have you grown and changed this past year? How might we become even better versions of ourselves in the year to come? Onward in openness, love!

OH the things we thought so innocently in youth! May our wisdom not kill our innocence, though–rather just make it smarter–more effective!

We must accept things as they are before we can effectively change them. Seems paradoxical and counter-intuitive, no? Takes me a bit to wrap my brain around, still, and when I do, my world opens!

Every day is just another day and also a brand new amazing gift of a day! We can be in it fully at peace and also attack it with force–both and all aspects of our nature, of nature itself. I wrote recently to a friend: “One more thing about change: It’s nature, and I love that.  It teaches me to be humble about what I think I know, to always expect that there is both more simplicity and more complexity than I currently understand.  Nature is the quintessentially elegant and efficient system of systems—no wasted energy or resources.  We humans are part of nature, and when we deny or defy it, we get positively smote!  *laugh-sigh* So awesome.”

Maybe in 2026 I can flow. Flow more–more smoothly, more easily, more widely, openly, lovingly, and authentically. Shall I create a playlist, incidental and intentional, to uphold and reinforce such an ethos for this, the Year of the Fire Horse? What posture and movement corresponds to this mindset? What does health in the five domains (Sleep, Exercise, Nutrition, Stress management, Relationships) look, sound, and feel like in Flow? Ooo, let’s try it and see!

How does 2026 feel for you? What will you lean into?
My best wishes for all of it and all of you, my friends.

What Does Love Make Us?

https://www.nicolatyche.com/

“Love makes one weak.” –Soren, War Queen, Nicola Tyche

What think you, friends? Do you agree?

I respectfully disagreed as soon as I heard it the first time (I binged the series twice in a row–looking forward to writing more about it here soon) and each time since (I listen to exerpts repeatedly when the mood strikes), the line prompts me to counter more excitedly. So here is my partial list of what love does make us. What would you add?

Vulnerable.
At risk of being hurt or harmed due to exposure or lack of armor. To many, this equates with weakness. But is it really the same? Love can make us feel endangered, undefended, unarmed, and open to risk of disappointment, pain, abandonment, etc. Vulnerability feels soft and susceptible. And yes, it can seem like weakness. But if we get still and feel into our love, is it weakness that we sense? What does vulnerability in love actually feel like in mind, body, and spirit? I submit that it is giddy, tense, anticipatory, and maybe anxious. It’s a high energy state with an outward facing posture, no? What if we reframed ‘weakness’ in this context as ‘hopeful vulnerability, open to the possibility of harm in service of the great potential for connection’? As Brené Brown writes and says often, vulnerability is the foundation of courage.

Courageous.
Just think of all the brave things love makes us do. We stand up for our loved ones against bullies. The most introverted among us profess our love out loud and in public. We advocate for our most meaningful and heartfelt causes with conviction when love drives. This foundation of courage fuels us from a deeper place, and it is self-sustaining. I think of parental love here more than anything–Lorenzo’s Oil and stay-at-the-intensive-care- bedside-holding-your-baby’s-foot-because-it’s-the-only-part-of-his-body-not-covered-with-lines-or-monitors kind of love. Love makes us strong.

Powerful.
The most memorable and important human movements I can think of are all founded in love. Martin Luther King’s civil rights leadership and LGBTQ advocacy come to mind first. Love is love. That anyone has to fight for the right to live in full expression of their love boggles me. Here we are at the end of 2025 and the fight persists, and I am heartened that the pro-love movement in all its forms continues to show up in strength and power. There may always be opposition, and I am confident that love will always raise us to the challenge to overcome it.

Forgive.
I think this is true. Some of us may be more forgiving by nature, or more so in certain situations. But wronged in the same way by different people, I’m much more willing to forgive if I love you. There is something about the loving relationship, something about preserving the connection, that makes me repair ruptures much more willingly.

Willing.
Come to think of it, I’m much more willing to do a lot of things because I love, aren’t you?

Selfless.
Love makes us put others before ourselves. Parental, romantic, fraternal, platonic, Agape alike–think of all your favorite examples of altruism and sacrifice. Do they not all arise from some form of love? Just think if this were not the case–if love didn’t exist or didn’t have this effect on us. We’d all live in a world of utterly selfish competition, default assholery in front. Yuck.

Grow.
Love makes us stick with things and people. We choose perseverance over escape, at least some of the time. So if we pay attention and work to overcome conflict, if we engage and learn our and others’ patterns, then we grow. We change and evolve, even as we settle more and more into our core selves. Root down and branch out. Awesome.

Better.
Is there anything that makes us better more than love? Empathy, compassion, kindness, generosity, curiosity, humaneness; education, achievement, connection, security–all of these are either grounded in love or secondary to love in importance for our betterment as individuals and society alike.

What if we expressed and acknowledged love more explicitly in more domains? It feels natural in families and among friends, of course. I also love my patients and my colleagues. I made a new friend last week, an executive coach, who expresses love for his clients–he serves as kind and loving truth teller for them, and to hear him describe himself this way just made my heart sing. It’s one thing to operate by default from a place of love, something too few of us do. It’s another level up to consciously own it, profess it, to lead and live all the way into it with intention and purpose.

Oh no, love does not make us weak, dear Soren. I love you and you are, arguably, the strongest character in the trilogy. Your love at all levels makes every other character respect, follow, and love you back with the ardent loyalty and conviction that saves you all.

Love makes us everything good that his human. May we embrace and exude it, my friends.

Love Notes Wrap Up and an Invitation

Hello Friends!

What a FUN 30 days! It went by so fast, I’m so surprised, and I would definitely do this again! How was it, did you enjoy it? I’d love if you found this month of 12 daily Love Notes both simple and deep, uplifting and grounding at the same time.

I now have a stack of 360 original, unfolded Jar Smile Love Notes that need homes. Would you like some? Here’s my invitation:

Take a look at the thirty themes below.
Which one(s) resonate(s) with you?
Who in your life could use a few of these messages?

I will mail them to you, in an envelope with a stamp and everything!
Let me know if you want them folded or flat.
I can mail internationally, no problem!
Please comment on this post on WordPress, Instagram, or Facebook to request. You can request as many sets as you want, first come, first served. I will send them in whole dozens; no cherry picking. If you only want a few, maybe carry the rest around and strew them in your loving wake?
You can message me your address privately on my Instagram account, @chenger91, or we can figure out something else.

In exchange, please consider making a donation to Braver Angels or Digs With Dignity. These are my two favorite non-profits; they do so much concrete good in our world!
Tell me in your comment how these notes landed for you this month, and how you might pay the feelings forward, either by sharing the notes you request, writing your own, or in some other creative and loving way.

I will take requests through 6:00pm US Central Standard Time Tuesday, December 30th.
I will mark/update the list below as the sets are spoken for.
I think I know what I will do with the leftovers, but wouldn’t it be wonderful if there weren’t any?

The goal here is to spread the Love, my friends–how far can we fling it?
I can’t wait to see!

ADDENDUM: I will strikethrough the sets as they are taken.

1.Transition
2. Rest
3. Work
4. Making Friends
5. Uncertainty
6. Perseverance
7. Balance
8. Revival
9. Lightness
10. Kindness
11. Gratitude
12. Friendship
13. Love
14. Reunion
15. Fitness
16. Remembrance
17. Humanity
18. Learning
19. Bridging Difference
20. Solidarity
21. Dancing
22. Finding Joy
23. Creativity
24. Listening
25. Empathy
26. Patience
27. Homecoming
28. Honesty
29. Change for Good
30. Peace

Typical Smile Jar refill snail mail