What is your relationship with buses?

The pick up truck in front of me let a city bus into traffic the other day. I was already in a great mood, driving to Ethos, excited to see my friends and move my body. That this big white monster truck did not try to compete with the bigger white striped monster bus somehow gave me hope for humanity.

More and more drivers flout traffic law these days–do you notice? It’s the same way I see passengers ignoring the fastened seat belt sign on planes. We just don’t care about rules anymore? Or each other? I see it as discourteous, self-absorbed, and generally rude. It makes me annoyed and angry, then sad. I try not to let it poison my attitude toward humans in general. The man who stands up during the plane’s ascent to rummage through the overhead bin is the same man who offers to help me get my carry-on down when we land (which I politely decline because I go to Ethos, thank you very much!). What is up with us lately?

This clear, crisp morning heading westbound on Belmont, a pleasant surprise of vehicular civility made me think. How often do I let buses into traffic in front of me? Not as often as I’d like to declare. Why is that? I generally drive peacefully: I leave two to three seconds between myself and the car in front of me. If you signal, I will absolutely slow down and let you into my lane. If you let me in, I will wait until I can see you in my rearview mirror and wave enthusiastically. I make eye contact with pedestrians and gesture to them to cross in front of me. But with buses, I intentionally speed up to get in front before they cut me off. Huh.

Is it tit for tat? Bus drivers can be pretty aggressive, I have to say. And they almost never wave back, even if eye contact is made. I never realized before that morning how adversarial I feel toward them. Whoa. I wonder if they get this from all of us car drivers?

I took the bus all the time as a student. I spent an hour and a half by train, train, and buuuuus to visit Hubs when he started med school a year before me. The trade off at rush hour was that there were more buses to catch, and also more buses and cars on the road in traffic; no time of day was faster. I controlled nothing; it was a practice in patience and relinquishing agency in a lot of ways.

This perspective came rushing over me all at once as I rolled through the intersection behind the pick up truck, behind the bus, so leisurely, listening to my favorite music in my SUV, all warm and cozy, water bottle at my side. If I encountered an accident or needed to stop for something, I could change my route ad lib. I had at least partial control of my time, my path, and my choices. Not so the people on the bus. They were captive unless they got off, and then they’d have to pay more in time, money, and hassle to change buses, routes, or mode of transport.

My perspective broadened suddenly and unexpectedly: I am not just in relationship with the bus driver(s). I’m in relationship with everybody on a given bus–the people who don’t get to pick their seat, if they get to sit at all; the people who had to get up that much earlier, leave their families, to allow for the extra time on public transit; the people who may not get enough sleep or have time to exercise because their commute takes so long.

Bus drivers are road advocates for their passengers–asserting themselves and their charges into the morass of the rude rest of us–getting their people where they need to go. They have a schedule to fulfill, navigating tight turns and oblivious drivers looking at our phones, ignoring stop signs, and running red lights. I wonder how they think of themselves? I will think of them this way from now on, and give them the space and deference to ferry their passengers with one less obstacle in their way. I’ll wave and smile more, too.

I Hold Perspective for Us, friends. It opens our minds to new points of view, to learning, to insight and epiphany–to connection. It lightens the burden of competition and scarcity. It protects us against mutual isolation and social disintegration.
Where could you benefit from some new perspective this week?