To long time readers of this blog: First, THANK YOU!

Second, what themes here stand out to you over time? Because they recur so often, they resonate, or for other reasons? When I search for ‘polarity’, 20 posts come up since 2020. I only learned about the concept of polarity management in 2019 and have since integrated it in my approach to challenges in almost every life domain.

Almost exactly a year ago I wrote about it in one of the best posts of the month, in my opinion. I identified Polarity Partnerships and Braver Angels as two organizations that do polarity management well (Partnerships was founded by Barry Johnson, author of the seminal book Polarity Management). This means that rather than pitting apparently opposed or antagonistic ideas and positions against each other in a zero sum, we seek to identify and maximize the advantages of both perspectives for optimal integration and function.

It occurs to me that we perceive the word ‘polarized’ with a negative connotation. It means people withdraw from one another, retreat to corners of comfort and concensus, avoiding engagement with those who think, feel, and believe differently on important topics. This negativity about polarization risks making us think negatively about polarity in general, which I Hold for Us to resist.

Polarities are good. Or at least they are not inherently bad. Actually describing them as good or bad is probably not helpful. Polarities are ubiquitous, a fact of nature and life, and holding them in curiosity, openness, and possibility, and without judgment or resistance (thus holding them mindfully) helps us see through and past conflict to creative (re)solutions.

Progressive/Conservative, Blue/Red, Left/Right–however we label our political poles, we each have to stop wishing for the ‘other side’ to back down or step aside. We need to let go the idea that we can convert anyone from their side to ours, to make them see and think the way we do. And we absolutely must stop demonizing one another, calling each other names and generalizing negativity on whole groups based on one attribute. The truth is we need tension and competition of ideology, the free and open debate of ideas and solutions to thrive as an engaged, innovative, and evolving society. We just need to handle the tension and debate much, much better.

We have descended too far into the depths of adversarial engagement. More than any political ideology or policy change, I see this as the greatest threat to our democracy–the fact that we citizens, the collective electorate across the country, cannot muster the ‘curiosity, compassion, and courage‘ to talk through our differences respectfully and constructively. This makes us extremely vulnerable to those who seek to inflame our respective greivances for their own benefit–those for whom a divided population helps them rise to and stay in self-serving power. ‘Divide and conquer.’

The good news is that the movement of polarity management–the resistance to toxic division–grows quickly now. Early adopters have found one another and partnered. They amplify one another’s messages on social media. Their reach expands by resonating with the deep need that so many feel to leave behind hostile rhetoric and ad hominem attacks, to come together and get sh*t done.

The featured image on this post shows twelve organizations that partner with BridgeUSA, “the youth movement for better politics.” From their About Us page:

BridgeUSA is a multi-partisan student movement that champions viewpoint diversity, responsible discourse, and a solution-oriented political culture. We are developing a generation of leaders that value empathy and constructive engagement because our generation will bear the cost of polarization and tribalism for years to come.

Starts With Us, another polarity navigating group, asks:

Are you one of the 87% of Americans from all walks of life who sees a world beyond “us vs. them?” Are you tired of polarizing politics and endless culture wars? The power to reclaim our culture Starts With Us.

Their Movement statement:

We can each work on the skills needed to overcome the forces that divide us — but where do we start? The 3Cs: [Curiosity, Compassion, and Courage]

We all have an innate capacity for curiosity, compassion, and courage. The Starts With Us community is committed to turning the 3Cs into personal daily habits [emphasis mine] that have tremendous personal benefits:

–Connect with and influence community
–Repair strained relationships
–See through fear-stoking media
–Strengthen communication and negotiation
–Sharpen critical thinking and problem solving
–Feel more agency, less anxiety

Progressive and Conservative ideologies are not inherently good or bad, or even necessarily opposed, and it’s counterproductive to hold them as such. Navigating this polarity with the 3C’s, from a mindset of mutual respect, integrative and complementary potential, and shared humanity opens the possibility of finding truly innovative solutions to the challenges of our increasingly complex world.

I Hold Polarity for Us because we are not enemies. We are all humans, here doing our best with what we have. Competing ideas and ideologies do not necessarily imply inevitable conflict or war, though humans too often escalate it that way. Holding Polarity with Curiosity, Compassion, and Courage, in the spirit of connection over division, will help keep us from destroying ourselves.