Love Notes for Bridging Difference

Posted on November 19, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

The PA student wellness talk went great! 42 or so junior colleagues engaged with me and my badly designed PowerPoint for ninety minutes and I had the BEST time! I realized this morning that for the youngest of them (about half the class), the pandemic hit during high school and the beginning of college. It reminds me of The Fourth Turning and how significantly the intersection of phase of life with momentous human events influences our world views. This summer I was challenged to address the impact of generational differences on organizational culture in a corporate wellness talk, and I started to see age and generation as another form of diversity.

“Respect and challenge the hierarchy,” occurred to me for students this year. We elders (some very elder indeed) still run things, and our experience and wisdom matter. We also have much to learn from our juniors, from their fresh and diverse perspectives. If we can all lead, from any chair, by humble and confident example, our professional culture will progress toward stronger inclusiveness and mutual respect.

I continue to seek conversation and connection with both conservative and progressive friends around politics. But I want to go deeper than news headlines and the loudest arguments. I want to know what core goals and values we share, to start walking together to see where our paths diverge. Where are our shared destinations, and why do you choose 90/94 while I choose Lake Shore Drive? What are the dis/advantages of each, what are the trade-offs?

I am really starting to miss more long form posting here, how fascinating! We are 60% through this daily blogging challenge. Many thanks to all who have followed along (Hi Mick and Donna!), and welcome to any new friends! Now let’s see how much love we can find across difference:

Keep your antennae tuned for those who would divide us to serve their own purposes. This is NOT our better nature. Resist them and stay connected!

2. You and I disagree on this today. That may not necessarily be the case in the future. We can keep our minds open to change, without shame or judgement.

3. You don’t believe everything I believe. But let us not let that stop us from staying curious and connecting anyway. May we see light in each other no matter what.

4. The holidays can challenge our patience and resilience to triggers. *deep breath* May we stand firmly in love and ties of respect and shared history to get us through gratefully.

5. Our biases come honestly or not, we inherit many and form others organically. It’s a human thing. But let us hold them loosely and let them go to connect to one another.

6. Today and all days, may our differences feel softer, less threatening, and approachable with openness, light, and optimism for connection.

7. How wonderfully diverse we all are! How boring the world would be if we were all the same! May we appreciate and celebrate every spectrum!

8. To my friends who vote differently and sit with me over a meal or coffee to discuss–thank you. Our persistent and resilient connection gives me hope for our future.

9. I love you because we share important things in common. And the places where we differ teach me, make me better. Because of our love.

10. One deep breath can be the difference between a connecting moment and a destructive one. Let our breath give us the space to make the connecting choice.

11. Humility Curiosity Empathy Kindness Generosity — Is there any theme of love note NOT founded on these?

12. These fun music mash-ups like AC/DC-BeeGees — If we can so easily and artfullly blend divergent melodic creations, why not try with our policy ideas? We are a creative species, no?

Oh, I like this set, friends. Onward to 30!

Love Notes for Humanity

Posted on November 17, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

My friends, you MUST listen to the Crowns Series by Nicola Tyche! I have only a little over five hours left of the trilogy and I’m getting sad already that it will end. WHAT a ride, though! I want to write a proper post/review after these thirty days are finished–can’t wait can’t wait! I’m still texting Phara every few minutes during each listening session and she is such a strong, non-spoiling, encouraging book friend!
Besides the brilliant story, literary writing, masterful plot with the most wicked twists, I love the characters the best. They are all just so human, all doing their best to uphold their core values, face challenges to their prejudices with honesty and courage, and they love so bravely and authentically. It warms and breaks my heart all at the same time. I could not recommend these books strongly enough!

Humanity. Let us all honor and uhpold it in ourselves and all we encounter, yes?
Let’s see if I can muster messages that help:

Joy Connection Understanding Acceptance Belonging *LOVE* May you find all of these in overflowing abundance in all of your relationships!

2. Feel all your emotions! And regulate your actions. Say sorry and mean it when you hurt someone. We all make mistakes. We are SMART, so we can LEARN. You’ got this.

3. Thank the gods for our creative and artist humans! They help us fully experience this amazing life and we are so lucky to have them! Big love and light to you!

4. We are born and made to live in relationship. Family, tribe, friendship–it all matters and shapes us. Wishing with all of me for your relationships to hold and lift ALL OF YOU!

5. Hello my dear fellow human. When I meet you, may I always remember that you and I both have loved ones who want the best for us, and that we are all worthy.

6. To first identify, then acknowledge and embrace our fears, this is courageous humanity. Maybe we cannot muster it all the time, so let’s *celebrate* when we do! That’s awesome.

7. “You see me.” I think this rivals “You love me” or “I love you” as the most connecting expression between two humans. Yeah.

8. When I see you, I think of your mom and how much she loves you. And it makes me love you a little more too. Can we just look at each other this way more?

9. OMG how we ALL fuck up every day! Is it not phenomenal?? So let’s just accept and expect it already, yes? Own it, mend it, and keep going–do better next time.

10. Every day, my friend, I wish you a rhythm of inspiration that manifests in music and DANCE. To move your body to a beat is an energy we all need. Even better with others, too!

11. My dear darling friend, your feelings are VALID. Please allow them, move through them, and maybe explore and understand them, if you can. Then rest and find your people. They can help.

12 We are human. We love whom we love. We can love anyone in any way, and that love can also evolve. Nothing about love is binary or restrictive. How wonderful!

Oh there is definitely more here. Doesn’t it feel like I write a love note a day for a year for every one of these topics? What if I could do that for a living? Hmmmm… Love notes, love letters, sending love, landing it squarely on others’ consciousness exactly how it’s needed in the moment–that would be an amazing day job. More tomorrow!

Love Notes for Remembrance

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

May her memory be a blessing.

Today I attended the funeral and life celebration of Mary Deeley, friend of decades, teacher, preacher, and leader of the Sheil Catholic Center community at my alma mater, Northwestern University. Funny, and I think a little divine, that I wrote notes for reunion two nights ago. Father Ken Simpson celebrated the mass today, and I felt at home, seeing so many familiar faces from decades of relationship. Mary’s spouse spoke with love and humor, just as I imagine Mary would have wanted. It was a whirlwind day of smiles, hugs (so many hugs, it was awesome), and memories. What a lovely reminder for what’s important in life (our relationships) and how to spend the finite time and attention we are given (not much at all, and duh, on relationships).

Let’s see if I can do the feelings justice:

Your memory is indeed a blessing. What a beautiful expression. We miss your bodily presence terribly, and we know you are always with us.

2. When we remember those who have passed, may we honor their legacy of love and impact on us by paying it all forward as best we can. 🙂

3. Long before any of us pass, may we share our fondest remembrances of each other. Why wait until the end? Recall and rejoice today!

4. May we honor and respect past versions of ourselves that had to go. They served us until they didn’t and it’s OK to mourn them and keep living.

5. When I come across something that reminds me of you, I try always to mark it somehow. So the cosmos knows about you and how you still matter.

6. “You know, the death rate from life is 100%.” –My very wise patient. We can choose to create the memories worth recalling by living as intentionally as possible now. In love.

7. If/when I lose my memory, I hope the cosmos will let me keep the love above all else. When I see your face, that’s all I need to remember about us.

8. Let us welcome the memories that bring tears. They signal deep connection and remind us of what we share. They make us human. Welcome welcome welcome.

9. First I thought about grief Then about loss. But remembrance is now my preferred frame. It feels more connecting to the love somehow.

10. When that stab of sudden and intense remembrance strikes, may we slow a step, take a breath, and allow it. It’s transient and a blessing through the ether.