Thinking about power: Our power to impact others and vice versa. What if we were all more aware, even by a little, of the impact (or potential impact) we have on any/all people we meet, even in the smallest, most transient encounters? What if we were all just a little more reverent to that profound (I think it’s profound) power and potential–how would we be and do differently?
Power To, as Brené Brown says. To make someone’s day a little better or a little worse. To hold people up or cut them down. To lead by example, to foster connection, to make a difference.
Sometimes Power To becomes Power Over, when our attitudes, behaviors, words, and actions hold influence over others and cause harm, even without our intention or knowledge. This reality holds particular importance today, on Mother’s Day. As many of us celebrate moms and their awesomeness, some are reminded of less than stellar maternal-child experiences. Parents hold so much power, and too often we wield it mindlessly.
Our families of origin shape us in ways that can last our whole lives. We also have agency to walk our own paths, however challenging it may be to loosen those family ties. It often takes a fair bit of inner work, to say the least, and I’m convinced we can almost never do it alone. From childhood on, it’s our best relationships with other humans, family or not, that save us. Those who love and support us, who tell us the truth and require the same from us, who hold us accountable to our own values and integrity, and who stay by our sides despite our faults and errors, save us.
“Tell me about your emotional support network,” I ask patients every year. I’m always a little sad when someone doesn’t quite understand the question. I celebrate when someone tells me how it’s stronger now than before.
I don’t expect that we spill our deepest secrets to strangers, or that we share personal things with everyone in our circles. I just wish for us all to walk around with a little more humility, curiosity, generosity, and kindness by default. What assumptions do we make about our fellow humans on the street? We show up differently when we assume everyone is out to con or harm us, from when we think we are all here doing our best, taking care of ourselves and our families. What if we meet people remembering that we all benefit from a little more empathy and understanding, and setting a goal to provide that for one another, even in the smallest ways?
How much can and do you impact those around you?
I bet it’s more than you realize.
Healing Through Connection 