Category Archives: mindfulness

Love Notes for Bridging Difference

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The PA student wellness talk went great! 42 or so junior colleagues engaged with me and my badly designed PowerPoint for ninety minutes and I had the BEST time! I realized this morning that for the youngest of them (about half the class), the pandemic hit during high school and the beginning of college. It reminds me of The Fourth Turning and how significantly the intersection of phase of life with momentous human events influences our world views. This summer I was challenged to address the impact of generational differences on organizational culture in a corporate wellness talk, and I started to see age and generation as another form of diversity.

“Respect and challenge the hierarchy,” occurred to me for students this year. We elders (some very elder indeed) still run things, and our experience and wisdom matter. We also have much to learn from our juniors, from their fresh and diverse perspectives. If we can all lead, from any chair, by humble and confident example, our professional culture will progress toward stronger inclusiveness and mutual respect.

I continue to seek conversation and connection with both conservative and progressive friends around politics. But I want to go deeper than news headlines and the loudest arguments. I want to know what core goals and values we share, to start walking together to see where our paths diverge. Where are our shared destinations, and why do you choose 90/94 while I choose Lake Shore Drive? What are the dis/advantages of each, what are the trade-offs?

I am really starting to miss more long form posting here, how fascinating! We are 60% through this daily blogging challenge. Many thanks to all who have followed along (Hi Mick and Donna!), and welcome to any new friends! Now let’s see how much love we can find across difference:

  1. Keep your antennae tuned for those who would divide us to serve their own purposes. This is NOT our better nature. Resist them and stay connected!

2. You and I disagree on this today. That may not necessarily be the case in the future. We can keep our minds open to change, without shame or judgement.

3. You don’t believe everything I believe. But let us not let that stop us from staying curious and connecting anyway. May we see light in each other no matter what.

4. The holidays can challenge our patience and resilience to triggers. *deep breath* May we stand firmly in love and ties of respect and shared history to get us through gratefully.

5. Our biases come honestly or not, we inherit many and form others organically. It’s a human thing. But let us hold them loosely and let them go to connect to one another.

6. Today and all days, may our differences feel softer, less threatening, and approachable with openness, light, and optimism for connection.

7. How wonderfully diverse we all are! How boring the world would be if we were all the same! May we appreciate and celebrate every spectrum!

8. To my friends who vote differently and sit with me over a meal or coffee to discuss–thank you. Our persistent and resilient connection gives me hope for our future.

9. I love you because we share important things in common. And the places where we differ teach me, make me better. Because of our love.

10. One deep breath can be the difference between a connecting moment and a destructive one. Let our breath give us the space to make the connecting choice.

11. Humility Curiosity Empathy Kindness Generosity — Is there any theme of love note NOT founded on these?

12. These fun music mash-ups like AC/DC-BeeGees — If we can so easily and artfullly blend divergent melodic creations, why not try with our policy ideas? We are a creative species, no?

Oh, I like this set, friends. Onward to 30!

Love Notes for Learning

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Ooo, it’s late. Of course I procrastinated revising my presentation to the last minute. Tomorrow I get to talk to first year physician assistant students about burnout and well-being. How fun to look each time at the prior year’s slides and see how much is unchanged, as well as what has evolved in the interim. Mostly I feel increasingly informal, collegial, practical, and just a little maternal in my approach. It’s about calling forth just a few things to hold in front through training and career: Meaning, Mission, Connection, and Lifelong Learning.

So let’s see what twelve love notes emerge from this mindset, shall we?

  1. What a wonde(r)fully wide and awesome world to behold when we take a beginner’s mind and open ourselves to new experience and connection anywhere, anytime!

2. May you see and encouner the wise teacher in every person you meet today. We can learn something valuable from any encounter if we are just open to it.

3. Holy cow, there is too much to ever learn or know! So follow your curiosity in the moment–anything you learn is something you can apply later!

4. Curiosity is such a vastly more fun and interesting mindset than certainty! Not mutually exclusive, and definitely in need of balance.

5. Dear darling, may you never lose that child-like awe and wonder at the marvels that surround us! It keeps us out of cynicism and despair, I am convinced.

6. Wishing you a day of relaxed, eye opening, insightful, and connecting intellectual sparks today! Because that kind of energy fuels us and keeps the world turning!

7. At some point today, may we embody the qualities of our very favorite teachers. It’s never about the information; it’s about the love, the kindness, and the relationship. 🙂

8. What a privilege to befriend young people! The diversity of perspective among age(s) and generations opens us! May your friends span the decades!

9. Huh. We’re kinda all teachers, leading by example that others either want to follow or NOT. So let us watch which examples we ourselves follow, eh?

10. Let us take on a student mindset often. Show up. Open up. Invite the lesson. Study. Dedicate ourselves to absorb, integrate, and apply. So much possibility, OMG!

11. Whatever super cool new random thing you learn next, please share! We all do better when we spread the love of learning throughout life, right?

12. Nobody can possibly know everything! Someone will always know more than you or I do about something. How cool! What if we all shared freely and generously?

Until tomorrow, friends. Take good care of your ever expanding minds and hearts!

Love Notes for Remembrance

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May her memory be a blessing.

Today I attended the funeral and life celebration of Mary Deeley, friend of decades, teacher, preacher, and leader of the Sheil Catholic Center community at my alma mater, Northwestern University. Funny, and I think a little divine, that I wrote notes for reunion two nights ago. Father Ken Simpson celebrated the mass today, and I felt at home, seeing so many familiar faces from decades of relationship. Mary’s spouse spoke with love and humor, just as I imagine Mary would have wanted. It was a whirlwind day of smiles, hugs (so many hugs, it was awesome), and memories. What a lovely reminder for what’s important in life (our relationships) and how to spend the finite time and attention we are given (not much at all, and duh, on relationships).

Let’s see if I can do the feelings justice:

  1. Your memory is indeed a blessing. What a beautiful expression. We miss your bodily presence terribly, and we know you are always with us.

2. When we remember those who have passed, may we honor their legacy of love and impact on us by paying it all forward as best we can. 🙂

3. Long before any of us pass, may we share our fondest remembrances of each other. Why wait until the end? Recall and rejoice today!

4. May we honor and respect past versions of ourselves that had to go. They served us until they didn’t and it’s OK to mourn them and keep living.

5. When I come across something that reminds me of you, I try always to mark it somehow. So the cosmos knows about you and how you still matter.

6. “You know, the death rate from life is 100%.” –My very wise patient. We can choose to create the memories worth recalling by living as intentionally as possible now. In love.

7. If/when I lose my memory, I hope the cosmos will let me keep the love above all else. When I see your face, that’s all I need to remember about us.

8. Let us welcome the memories that bring tears. They signal deep connection and remind us of what we share. They make us human. Welcome welcome welcome.

9. First I thought about grief Then about loss. But remembrance is now my preferred frame. It feels more connecting to the love somehow.

10. When that stab of sudden and intense remembrance strikes, may we slow a step, take a breath, and allow it. It’s transient and a blessing through the ether.

11. They say grief can only live where love has already been. That makes it easier to think about, and no easier to feel through… Still, yeah. Love.

12. Sometimes I remember you as if you have already passed. It’s morbid, I know. But it helps me appreciate you now. It awakens me to us.

Huh. I’m pretty happy with these. Onward, my friends.
And we love you, Mary.