Category Archives: mindfulness

Funny Helps

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https://twitter.com/mitsurutenma/status/1008561308273401856/photo/1

NaBloPomo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

“Your quarantine nickname = how you feel right now + the last thing you ate.”

Hello, my name is Tired Toast.  Please meet my Facebook friends Anxious Carrot, Determined Wasabi Pea, Vexed Guacamole, Chilly Gingersnap, Perky Wontons, Grumpy Curry, Happy Nachos, and Bored Dried Cherries.  Welcome to the quarantine buffet, where we commune and relax.  Bring what ya’ got, just who you are, no matter your condition.  We don’t care how you smell.  You have a seat at the table here.  But ya gotta play nice; no food fights.

One of my leaders acknowledged this week that whereas we used to refill on weekends, these days our tanks never get all the way full before the next week starts.  I take my analogies seriously, so I contemplated this one.  It depends on the weekend, I think.  If I can avoid overscheduling and the sun shines, I can get mostly back to F.  But no doubt, I head into weekends ‘way more empty now than I used to.

Small funnies help.  They’re the perfect combination of low effort, instant connection, and mood boost.

What made you smile and laugh out loud today?

I recommend The Big Bang Theory—any episode of the twelve seasons (it’s syndicated).  I’ve seen every one multiple times, and I still love every minute.  Friends with nerds—what could be better??  When I’m old and demented, park me in a recliner with a tub of ice cream and BBT on loop, and I’ll die happy.  If you’re looking for funny to share, check out Nathan Pyle and his fun-speaking blue beings. 

Formidable forces ride toward us.  We’ll all need our humorous wits about us now.

https://www.facebook.com/nathanwpyle2/photos/a.163399730411365/3431835476901091/

Men’s Health and Misogyny

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

“Today is International Men’s Day!  How should we celebrate?”

I saw this posted on a progressive women’s Facebook group today.  In that context, I inferred the question to be sarcastic.  Most comments responded in kind.  My knee jerk reaction aligned—why celebrate the patriarchy?  Burn it down, women say.

Why do some of us feel such instant, visceral disdain at the idea of celebrating men for a day?  Could it be centuries of oppression and institutional misogyny, physically, politically, and otherwise?  Though we may know individual men who are kind, generous, and non-abusive, maybe we still feel the stifling weight of cultural male dominance on our consciousness every. damn. day.

I explored the International Men’s Day (IMD) website.  The group aims to promote men’s health, listing five statistical health challenges for men, including shorter life expectancy and higher suicide rate.  Their objectives include highlighting discrimination against men and improving gender relations/promoting gender equality.  I find multiple articles supporting the former, and none for the latter.  But maybe it doesn’t matter.  I can wholeheartedly endorse evidence-based initiatives that promote cancer screening and mental health support for men.  I also uphold and justify my right to guard against insidious misogyny that promotes men’s health and advancement at the expense of the same for women. 

Men feel discriminated against.  Huh.  Is the argument that women suffer discrimination through financial and status deficit, while men pay with their very lives?  If that’s the premise I’m not sure I buy it, but it’s worth exploring.

So, I have work to do.  What a fantastic opportunity to confront my own assumptions, biases, and narratives.  I can celebrate men and advocate for their equality… As long as they celebrate women and  advocate for ours.

Refining the Personal Vision Statement

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

“I, Cathy Cheng, living and working at my highest and best, am Honest, Curious, Generous, Humble, and Kind, so that I can cultivate the best possible relationships with and between all people.”

How does this statement land?  On me, not on you.  Well, maybe a little on you—is this how you experience me at my highest and best?  The personal vision statement is just that—personal.  It’s my own beacon to navigate life’s storms.  But what good is it if it’s only for me?  Shouldn’t it also be the light I emanate  to make my best contributions in this one brief existence? 

Thanks to Braver Angels pal Sharon Kristjanson and her Engaging With Difference class, I have protected time these two months to spelunk this inner work.  Sweet!  Though I have had a Why statement for a while, it’s high time to test and refine it.  How does it hold up when relationships get really hard?  What does it mean to be honest all the time?  To be generous and humble when I’m tempted not to?  What is the shadow side of curiosity?

It’s deep work, but not necessarily heavy. I’m not drafting a final life mantra for my headstone. I’m noodling with a saying that fits at the same time like my most comfy pajama pants and my most flattering black dress. I am my own best seamstress, taking in and letting out as my relational habitus changes over time and experience. I’m always me, with evolving roles, tasks, and projects. Playing lightly and lovingly with words, purpose, and meaning, in whatever context surrounds me, with a trusty journal and smooth-writing pen…this is an ideal weeknight! Adaptive. Resourceful. Connected. Possibility. Oh yeah, this is gonna be awesome.