National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) was an annual November thing back in 2015, when I started this blog. Apparently the person who started it no longer claims it or formally facilitates, but many of us still practice. This year a small cadre of women physician writers may join me in the challenge, woohoo!
The theme for this, my 7th year, emerged over the summer. As some of you know, Son is a senior in high school, applying to college right now. On a walk through the neighborhood one sunny evening in August, I ran into parents of two different classmates, kids he’s known since preschool. We compared our respective parental experiences of contemporary college apps—fascinating! In both conversations, I asked my counterparts what they wished most for their kids to learn at college, and then in life. As usual, the question arose from outward curiosity, and before I could finish asking, I really wanted to answer for myself, too.
In short order, three primary ‘adulting skills’ came to mind:
Self-awareness
Self-regulation
Critical thinking
Over subsequent weeks the list grew quickly, as I sought additions from other friends and family. I noticed it was mostly nouns, which started to feel listless and uninspiring. Simon Sinek points out, in Start With Why, that posting static concepts such as ‘Honesty’ as organizational values is too abstract and unmotivating; it doesn’t tell people what to do. He recommends converting such nominal platitudes to verb statements instead: Isn’t ‘Always Tell the Truth’ a much clearer and more activating expression? And bonus: it also makes us accountable.
So this November, I intend to post one ‘action mantra’ each day, that I hope for my children to practice, to live a good life. I have chosen the theme title: Do Good, Kid. I like that play on words, too. 😉
This year’s theme is, perhaps, more personally meaningful and coherent for me than previous ones. I imagine it as the lifelong learning To Do list that could persist as my kids’ ethical earworms when I’m not around to remind them. It’s also a record of my own personal aspirations. How can I ask them to do anything I’m not willing to model myself? I have 30 days, and well over 30 practices to choose from. This could be fun.
So let’s see how it goes, eh? Can’t wait can’t wait!
How fun when learning occurs in clusters. I linked to a recent Hidden Brain podast on my November 4 post. It was the first time I had heard the term ‘affective polarization.’ Basically it means that we define and dislike people by only knowing their political party affiliation. Today I listened to a series of theological essays addressing the same issue, from a Christian perspective. I can’t wait to learn more.
Increasingly, we judge and relate to one another based on this one factor, which may or may not be important to how we define ourselves. Apparently it’s a pretty new phenomenon, and escalating fast (surprise).
The podcast discusses how we feel as and about people who are deeply involved in politics or not, and how that affects our attitudes and decisions about which relationships to enter, whom to hire, where to live, etc. The essays explain further that it has to do with in- and out-group (tribal) identity, self-esteem, and meaning. In 21st Century American culture, our politics identify us more than they used to—it has replaced religion in this way, perhaps. But, he posits, while we have cultivated religious attitudes and practices “from dogmatism and fundamentalism toward a faith that is more tolerant, inclusive, peaceable and generous,” not so for politics. Partisans on both sides are basically fundamentalists, and that carries important implications for violence— the new holy wars.
This may all seem rather alarmist. But I bet anyone who hears the podcast or reads the articles will recognize and relate to much of their content. The best outcome from consumption of these pieces will be a little more awareness, and a desire to monitor and modify how we relate, for the better. Let’s get to it, shall we?
Healing Through Connection 