Love Notes for Remembrance

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May her memory be a blessing.

Today I attended the funeral and life celebration of Mary Deeley, friend of decades, teacher, preacher, and leader of the Sheil Catholic Center community at my alma mater, Northwestern University. Funny, and I think a little divine, that I wrote notes for reunion two nights ago. Father Ken Simpson celebrated the mass today, and I felt at home, seeing so many familiar faces from decades of relationship. Mary’s spouse spoke with love and humor, just as I imagine Mary would have wanted. It was a whirlwind day of smiles, hugs (so many hugs, it was awesome), and memories. What a lovely reminder for what’s important in life (our relationships) and how to spend the finite time and attention we are given (not much at all, and duh, on relationships).

Let’s see if I can do the feelings justice:

  1. Your memory is indeed a blessing. What a beautiful expression. We miss your bodily presence terribly, and we know you are always with us.

2. When we remember those who have passed, may we honor their legacy of love and impact on us by paying it all forward as best we can. 🙂

3. Long before any of us pass, may we share our fondest remembrances of each other. Why wait until the end? Recall and rejoice today!

4. May we honor and respect past versions of ourselves that had to go. They served us until they didn’t and it’s OK to mourn them and keep living.

5. When I come across something that reminds me of you, I try always to mark it somehow. So the cosmos knows about you and how you still matter.

6. “You know, the death rate from life is 100%.” –My very wise patient. We can choose to create the memories worth recalling by living as intentionally as possible now. In love.

7. If/when I lose my memory, I hope the cosmos will let me keep the love above all else. When I see your face, that’s all I need to remember about us.

8. Let us welcome the memories that bring tears. They signal deep connection and remind us of what we share. They make us human. Welcome welcome welcome.

9. First I thought about grief Then about loss. But remembrance is now my preferred frame. It feels more connecting to the love somehow.

10. When that stab of sudden and intense remembrance strikes, may we slow a step, take a breath, and allow it. It’s transient and a blessing through the ether.

11. They say grief can only live where love has already been. That makes it easier to think about, and no easier to feel through… Still, yeah. Love.

12. Sometimes I remember you as if you have already passed. It’s morbid, I know. But it helps me appreciate you now. It awakens me to us.

Huh. I’m pretty happy with these. Onward, my friends.
And we love you, Mary.

Love Notes for Fitness

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I am *almost* there with the pistol squats, baby! I can now get down to and up from an upright yoga brick on my right leg, with the left foot off the floor for 3.5 reps. The left knee is still bent at 90 degrees. So in the coming year, I bet I can get to full hip and knee flexion on the standing leg, and full knee extension on the ‘pistol’ leg. It’s a goal, woohoooo! I feel no pressure, only aspiration and fun.

Setting joyful, pressure-free, functional, and achievable yet challenging goals gives us self-efficacy. Achievement despite struggle in one domain gives us confidence in other aspects of life. We stand a little taller, speak a little firmer, and walk with a little more runway vibe. We own our agency. We get strong and confident, which makes us harder to threaten. We know we have power to, so we feel less need to exert power over. It’s a win all around.

Let’s get fit, yes?

  1. May you move your body in joy and strength, in peace and community. We are built to move and do together!

2. Moving the body trains the mind which helps sleep which rest(s) both body and mind. Fitness in one domain positively impacts fitness in others. Any action counts.

3. Michael Jordan I am not. But I can follow his example of dedication, discipline, and excellence. Fitness transcends athletics.

4. Fitness applies to more than the physical. Where could we be more fit in life? What do we need to get better? Wishing us the support that helps!

5. Move with others at least sometimes. We are meant to go together, encouraging each other all along the way in life!

6. May your fitness routine bring not only cardio, core, and muscle strength, but a sense of unassailable accomplishment and confidence!

7. “All or something,” The Betty Rocker says. I wholeheartedly agree. Even one breath can make a world of difference. It all counts. Now go get it!

8. Hey in case you need encouragement: Dancing counts! So shake that booty. Joyful movement is awesome exercise.

9. Attack this workout! You’ got this! We can do haaard things! Then we go to the bakery and get treats.

10. That soreness after a great workout – evidence of work completed, tissue growth and strengthening. Bravo/a! Keep going!

11. The five attributes of physical, psychological, relational, and organizational fitness: Stable, Strong, Flexible, Agile, and Resilient.

12. When we feel fit, we treat ourselves and each other better. Invest in and protect your self-care — for all our sakes!

Oh and if anyone is interested, here is my workout playlist! Until tomorrow, friends.

Love Notes for Reunion

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Day 13 of Love Notes! Unlucky, perhaps? [Correction: this is Day 14] The Wi-Fi is out and the internet signal at my house is poor. So we do what we can. The daily dozen are written below. I will upload and update with photos when I can.

Feeling so deeply connected today, my friends. Saw long time patients this week, with whom I have aged a decade or so. Son comes home for the weekend tomorrow for the first time since daughter’s graduation in June. We will have lunch with my college friend, visiting from out of state. Saturday we will attend the funeral of a dear friend from church who nurtured us both; we will see many old friends there. Then I will meet my grade school friend who is also in town. Social media and group chats keep me up to date on so many of the lovely humans in my life. And every opportunity I get to spend some quality time, even if brief, fills me to bursting with love and gratitude.

I wanted to capture that energy in these notes. I think I got close with a few.

Wishing us all the deep, fulfilling feeling of special connection from reuniting with those who see us, know us, and love us, all through the years. May these relationships be ever accessible, to pull us up from any depth, shine onto us in any darkness.

Photos soon, friends! 🙏🏼

  1. There is something special about childhood and adolescent friendships. When they know you as stupid youth and still love you later, that’s love.

2. Family. Classmates. Friends. Colleagues. The energy of reunions is the essence of togetherness. We commune in love.

3. So happy to see you and be with you again. Any time away from you just feels a little less bright. Thank you for being you and bringing your whole self everywhere.

4. You went through stuff together. Your memories are shared. There is a bond there that is yours together; only you understand. Recall it fondly!

5. No matter what happens or how many years pass, we will always have the us that we were then. It is a precious memory and a source of light and strength. Thank you.

6. When we see each other after so long apart, may we be fully present, body, mind, and spirit. May we drink each other in and feast on our love, feeding us both in cosmic connection.

7. We knew each other before we fully knew ourselves. We’ve grown up together, even if apart much of the time. Our bond persists and strengthens over the years. Love you.

8. I savor you when we are together. When we depart, I take an extra long look. To last me until next time. And when we reunite, it’s still as sweet and joyous.

9. The older we get, the more people we have known, the more chances we have to connect and reconnect to amazing humans! YAAAAY!!

10. How does time and space apart alter our attitudes? I hope for a softening, a lightness that brightens our perceptions and opens our generosity and love.

11. May your reunions with long lost loved ones fill all of your souls with the warmth of strong connection despite and resilient to time and distance. Hold on tight!

12. Even if the parting tasted bitter, may the reunion be mostly sweet, reminding you both of the connection that nourishes in Agape love.

    It’s connection. But that word just doesn’t do it justice. Communion isn’t exactly right either. It’s an ineffable understanding, a seeing and knowing of souls, a limbic recognition. It’s a universal, visceral, spiritual experience… and it’s not just human—we observe animals who manifest it. Maybe it’s an essence of sentience?

    Well, anyway, I hope I may have sparked and fanned it for some here. It’s too good to not chase every once in a while.