Category Archives: Inspiration

For Holly

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https://pritzker.uchicago.edu/news/honoring-legacy-dr-holly-j-humphrey

Our friend, leader, and role model has passed.

What a surreal moment of sadness, reflection, slowing, and conviction.

I always knew you as simply Holly, not “Dr. Humphrey.”  The latter was a given and absolutely respected; it just felt too distant a title for how you showed up as program director to us residents.  Our respect for and deference to you was not commanded, demanded, or condescended by you.  It was a natural consequence of your presence: attuned, caring, earnest, authentic, and integrous.  Your essence emanated teacher, leader, mentor, steward, and patron.

I never knew you closely, but I felt known by you.  And that was enough.  Those three years were grueling and also bonding.  The culture you set of caring and encouragement, of looking after one another and always being on the same team, filtered through the chief residents, senior residents, and interns, so that we (when we had the bandwidth) could show caring and encouragement to the medical students.  Back before work hour restrictions existed, this was significant.  The University of Chicago Internal Medicine Residency Program was known as one of the most collegial and compassionate in the country, as well as one of the most rigorous and accomplished.  The longer I practice, the more I observe corporate and academic cultures from various perspectives, the more I appreciate and marvel at that incredible integration, at the uniquely holistic community of my training.  I knew it at the time; did not take it for granted.  And yet even now, more than twenty years out, the lasting impact on my own ethos and those of my classmates continues to move me.  I am so proud and grateful to have the privilege of calling myself a UofC IM graduate.

Reading the long list of initiatives, accomplishments, and accolades attributed to you after my time at UChicago ended, my psyche swells with pride for you, vicarious gratitude for all whom your programs touched, and inspiration to make my own contribution in kind.  Your mission and impact, as I understand from afar, was always to not only lift others directly, but show us all how to lift one another.  You were a leader of leaders—you helped us all identify and call forth that within each of us that would help make one another better.

What an honor and privilege to have shared even such a brief moment of this lifetime with you, Holly.  Those three years of residency, though short, were transformative.  Looking back, I was definitely not my best self at that time.  I cringe, and then I imagine how you might have counseled me, with honesty, compassion, and conviction to be my better self.  You empowered us through your confidence in us.  You held us accountable to a standard of conduct that made us worthy of our integrity.  Your leadership helped shape our character as clinicians and citizens of the profession.

Your life and memory are blessings on all who knew you. 
May we honor you and the impact you had on us all by carrying on the work you so bravely and generously began in innovative and connecting ways–the work of deepening compassion, inclusion, excellence, and humaneness in medicine.

Be Nerdy About Your Thing!

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My Insta story last week

“OK so:”

When you ask someone about something they love, that they’re expert in, and they get all excited to tell you all about it, isn’t this what they often say? Their energy is palpable, their smile wide, and you can tell they just can’t wait to get it out.

I love that feeling, as both the asker and the answerer. And when I come across someone who also appreciates this feeling, it’s another example of that exponential synergistic cosmic rocket fuel of connection that I live for.

In case you’re looking for folks who exude this, might I recommend:

Alton Brown. Specifically in his recent book of essays, Food For Thought.

AJ, Andy Wilson-Taylor. He nerds out on some of his Patreon posts, about music, noise cancelling, motorbikes, and so much else!

Keith Roach, MD. My first clinic preceptor, teacher, and mentor, we can all benefit from reading Dr. Roach’s columns answering medical questions. He isn’t effusive about the nerding, but you can tell he knows his stuff and loves to teach it.

Carolyn Mueller. My colleague and fitness professional, follow Carolyn on Instagram for her posts and stories on the science, psychology, and reality of staying fit and healthy.

Kasey McKenney. Director of Treatment at Ethos Training Systems in Chicago, Kasey integrates deep knowledge of the musculoskeletal system with expertise in Traditional Chinese Medicine. More often than not, our conversations circle from relationship to communication, to qi, and I always learn something new and relevant to my life and medical practice.

Who do you know like this? Please make your introductions in the comments!

Happy happy, friends–we’ got this!

The Second Mountain

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Ok friends, really quick tonight because I’ gotta get to bed on time!

I had a wonderful conversation with an exec recently who senses himself at a threshold. He has been remarkably successful in his career, not only by societal standards of status and income, but by his own ethical standards of leadership and purpose. Now in his mid-fifties, he looks ahead to closing the conventional corporate chapter of his life and opening the next– he’s just not sure what it will be. It’s not likely to be board work, as so many do. He seeks more meaning, more purpose, a legacy that he can be personally proud of, perhaps? I suggested that he work with a coach to help him think/talk through it, and as I listened more, I thought coaching itself may be his calling. I had an inkling that I knew an inspirational phrase for this life stage, this slow burning fire of positive middle-age transition, but I could not locate it.

As I ended my 100 Pregnancies post asserting that we all have agency to respond to and live life as we choose, I thought of another friend whose work is now a morass of chaotic uncertainty due to the current administration. In reply to the post, she messaged me, “As I start to contemplate retirement and what comes after, I feel almost giddy with possibility. It’s almost like I get a do over of that young adult chapter where all doors where open to me, but I felt so duty-bound and worried about making good choices that I didn’t appreciate it. What a luxury to have another chance to appreciate possibility and to pair it with intention and agency!” She is my people, obviously.

I replied (also giddily), “I (spoke) with someone about this age and exactly what you’re describing–like one more, great opportunity to be and do our best–to fully live into our intentions with the benefit of everything we have lived to date!”

Oh, I should tell you all, I have put down Book for now. After a year of trying fitfully and in earnest, it’s just not happening yet. Instead, I feel called to demonstrate and amplify civil political discourse–Healing Through Connection–through continued short form writing and public speaking. I have connected with a wonderful branding coach to help me expand my audience and innovate my method–anything is possible, and I’m attached to nothing. I’m not giving up my day job; it gets better every year, actually, and new collaborative possibilities shine on the horizon. Still, for ten years now I have cultivated and documented this ‘passion project’–a mission to make our relationships better in every domain, using any and all tools and practices that align with my values of honesty, integrity, curiosity, humility, and kindness. It overlaps with and mutually informs my clinical practice–the most cosmic integration that I built myself and also evolved completely organically.

This series of interactions and reflections on my way to the treadmill tonight finally unlocked that inspirational phrase in my memory–The Second Mountain! I listened to this book by David Brooks when it released in 2019:

“Every so often, you meet people who radiate joy—who seem to know why they were put on this earth, who glow with a kind of inner light. Life, for these people, has often followed what we might think of as a two-mountain shape. They get out of school, they start a career, and they begin climbing the mountain they thought they were meant to climb. Their goals on this first mountain are the ones our culture endorses: to be a success, to make your mark, to experience personal happiness. But when they get to the top of that mountain, something happens. They look around and find the view . . . unsatisfying. They realize: This wasn’t my mountain after all. There’s another, bigger mountain out there that is actually my mountain.

“And so they embark on a new journey. On the second mountain, life moves from self-centered to other-centered. They want the things that are truly worth wanting, not the things other people tell them to want. They embrace a life of interdependence, not independence. They surrender to a life of commitment.

“In The Second Mountain, David Brooks explores the four commitments that define a life of meaning and purpose: to a spouse and family, to a vocation, to a philosophy or faith, and to a community. Our personal fulfillment depends on how well we choose and execute these commitments. Brooks looks at a range of people who have lived joyous, committed lives, and who have embraced the necessity and beauty of dependence. He gathers their wisdom on how to choose a partner, how to pick a vocation, how to live out a philosophy, and how we can begin to integrate our commitments into one overriding purpose.

“In short, this book is meant to help us all lead more meaningful lives. But it’s also a provocative social commentary. We live in a society, Brooks argues, that celebrates freedom, that tells us to be true to ourselves, at the expense of surrendering to a cause, rooting ourselves in a neighborhood, binding ourselves to others by social solidarity and love. We have taken individualism to the extreme—and in the process we have torn the social fabric in a thousand different ways. The path to repair is through making deeper commitments. In The Second Mountain, Brooks shows what can happen when we put commitment-making at the center of our lives.”

I’m starting to think this blog, Book (eventually), and my commitment to relational leadership have all been my Second Mountain. Duh-HA! I also feel myself at another threshold now–empty nest and potential for even more personal expansion. Daughter is not the only one getting ready to launch! So might I live yet a Third Mountain?

What precipice meets you right now? How do you feel about it? Where do the feelings manifest in your body? Who else knows and can hold the space, un/certainty, excitement, trepidation, and giddiness with you?

Two more books come to mind, both that I also listened to years ago:
Changing on the Job by Jennifer Garvey Berger and
The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek

So let’s see where and what this all goes, eh? Very exciting!