We each harbor a fire. A glow. It’s deep, warm, bright, and constant. It also resonates–has a wavelength and frequency of vibration–so it’s synaesthetic!
Does it carry or found our identity? Unclear. Regardless, it’s there, it’s real, and it’s us.
When we connect meaningfully, be it with nature, other humans, music, or any other energy, I submit that it is from there, from that deep fire source.
And yet the layers–how many, how thick, how enmeshed, tangled, or loose–the coverings, the doors, blankets, and shields–applied, attracted, accumulated.
My wish is for us each and all to have easy access to that fire, to feel confidence in its reliable and constant presence and stability. It is the stable anchor that allows the boat of all experiences–autonomous and proactive, reactive and receptive–to withstand whatever comes with the security of attachment to place and belonging. Moored to move. Rooted down to branch out. Anchored to liberate: the longest, strongest leash.
The core furnace fire burns, emitting light and heat with purpose and contribution–and legacy.
My deepest and warmest thanks to the three friends who showed up to connect tonight. I see your fires, I feel their warmth and bask in their light, and you all make mine burn brighter, no question. That we could commune from across the country on screen, three of you having never met before, and forge what we did–just wow. This is connection. We get to co-create it wherever, whenever, however. We get to choose. Thank you.
Oh my goodness. It’s been a decade. Holy cow. I’m in the feels, people.
I published the very first post here on April 14, 2015, The Premise. Reading it again now (I can’t remember the last time I read it), I’m proud that I can still stand firmly and proudly behind every sentence. At that time, I had only begun to speak nationally on physician burnout and well-being, culminating in multiple memorable and rewarding collaborations until right before the pandemic. That work carries on now without my direct participation, still championed by colleagues whom I admire more than words can express. My own work in wellness has since touched other professions including design, law, and state and federal judiciaries. How humbling to be invited into these spaces; what a privilege. Every opportunity teaches me, broadens my perspective, and reinforces my Premise:
“Patients and physicians have control over one thing above all else: our relationship with each other. Relationships live and die by communication. Barriers on the obstacle course of patient-physician communication loom large and formidable. Our system fails us over and again. And it falls to each of us, not the system, to find our way to connection and healing relationships.”
I thought our healthcare system was broken a decade ago; and here we are, worse off still in too many ways to count. Now more than ever, it is our relationships that will save us. It’s another paradox, connection: So important and fundamental, such a necessity, and also kind of mundane. It can happen in the smallest of moments–a glance, a fleeting facial expression, a passing vibe, a shared language–which can be lifesaving and also taken for granted. It can also require collossal effort–tremendous self-restraint, courage, and tenacity–to achieve it across deep and complex conflict and separation. I submit that both/all forms of connection are equally valuable and necessary for us humans to thrive. The longer I live, learn, practice, and write, the more I believe this to my bones.
It did not occur to me until today to do something big and special for my 10th blog birthday. Honestly I had thought of sunsetting the whole thing before the renewal date rolled around last month. But since I had not made any plans or decisions, I paid the fee and here we are.
So let’s have some fun this month, eh?
I think I’ll try to post daily. Nothing too labor intensive, no obligations, no rules. It’s my birthday party and I’ll write if I want to. I have 100 drafts waiting to expand and engage, four occurring just in the space of this morning’s commute.
It really is all about Connection: This blog, medicine, health, wellness, relationships, life.
How ironic: The world feels more divided and polarized, separated and divergent now than I can remember in my lifetime. And yet in my life personally, I feel more connected to people everywhere now than ever. What is that about? How fascinating and wonderful! Let me attempt to explore it and share in the next 28 days, yes?
Healing Through Connection. Connecting in all possible ways, for the good of us all. It’s what we live for, I’m convinced. So let’s dive in, celebrate, and see what emerges! Oh, this could be fun. See you tomorrow!
I’ve thought of this undulating process for some weeks now. The ideas are still a work in progress, and today I feel moved to introduce them here. A5R.
Healing Through Connection turns ten years old in a couple weeks. When I look back at early posts, those words still resonate; I’m still the me who wrote them. And ten years on, of course I’m not the same me! Ha! A year ago in Be Myself, Change Myself, Be the Change, I wrote, “We are who we are from a very early age, maybe even before we are born. AND, we also constantly evolve throughout our lives. This is one of my favorite paradoxes.” In Root Down to Branch Out in 2021: “Sturdy, anchored stability | Supple, limber mobility | In dynamic balance | Life of healthy growth | Evolution in action”
Technology, environment, culture, and human relationships change exponentially faster now, and we are not physiologically equipped to cope. –Or are we?
Early humans who survived into old age had naturally energy-conserving metabolisms. When calories were scarce, tribal elders who stored more fat could eat less and live long enough to pass on their communal wisdom to younger generations. I’m convinced this is why most of us tend to gain weight with age, especially if we are not finely attuned and attentive to body signs like hunger, satiety, and non-physiologic drivers of eating and (non)movement (more on this in another post, maybe). Who among us can eat at 50 the way we ate at 20 and not feel almost immediate consequences now that never occurred then? Movement, sleep, mental acuity, hearing, and vision, among other things, all change over time, naturally, predictably, in nature’s most efficient and effective way, all so the species can survive.
Which traits of modern humans will allow us to persist healthily into the 22nd Century and beyond? Whose progeny will thrive five and ten generations from now, and why? More importantly, what traits, practices, and skills will help each of us, and all of us collectively, thrive now, in this lifetime?
Stable. Strong. Flexible. Agile. Resilient. I still think of these as the five attributes of fitness of any kind—physical, mental, emotional, relational, organizational, cultural, …and political. “Be stubborn with the [mission]. Be flexible with the [method].” I riff from Jeff Bezos here, I think. Is the way we’ve always done it the way that will keep working? Is it optimal? Is change for its own sake–taking sledgehammers to old ways just because they are old–the best way forward? Can we honestly assess methods passed down through tradition, improvised in response to crisis, and advanced by those in charge, and see/admit both benefits and flaws clearly?
A5R happens anyway. Everything changes eventually, and we change with it, willingly or not. Sometimes we drive, other times we can ride. Getting dragged is most painful. So if we can be a little more intentional–Anticipate and Act in Advance (omg its all A words?)–how much smoother might life all go for us, individually and collectively?
Conservation and Progress. Youthfulness and Wisdom. Strong and Soft. Living toward Death. What other relevant paradoxes and polarities do we grapple with today and forever? How can we do it better, suffer less, and get to inner and outer peace sooner?
Attune. Attend. Assess. Adjust. Adapt. Repeat.
Be and live Stable. Strong. Flexible. Agile. Resilient.
Stay open, curious, humble, honest, and accountable.
Healing Through Connection 