A Joyous and Synergistic Convergence

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Sometimes I come across something that simply overtakes my senses, moving me to giddy stillness and awe. Today it was this video on Instagram, showing a lone woman demonstrating a traditional wax resist dyeing technique. It was unusually long for an Insta video, and mesmerized me for the entirety. I sent it to multiple people with the message, “Friends–the art, and the FITNESS!”

With a serene and joyful expression throughout, the woman squats to harvest two large baskets of leaves from the ground. She hoists the baskets connected with a bamboo pole onto her shoulder and transports them on foot. After transferring them to large vats to soak, she dead lifts large rocks to weigh them down in the water to make fabric dye. I realize this may not be how it’s really done–a single person doing all of this work. Still, the functional movements here strike me. Modern urban life has relegated us to sit for hours at desks deep indoors, and the most we may ever do is walk a few feet at a time, unless we formally train or travel. Putting my carry-on in the overhead bin approximates a dead lift, lat pull, and shoulder press in series, and that is nothing compared to what these artisans do in their daily lives.

We know how physical activity benefits the body–thickening brain networks required for neuromuscular coordination, sustaining clear cognition with age, and maintaining cardiovascular, muscular, and bone strength and resilience. And to do it outside–with this view every day–imagine how this feels, body, mind, and soul! Watch the whole video–can you not sense the energy of it move something deep within you? What does it inspire?

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Imagine the patience it takes to be a maker like this–any artists reading this must be rolling their eyes, duh. While the dye ferments, she draws the entire phoenix pattern and applies wax by hand with fine implements. It reminds me of the parable of two cathedral bricklayers, one who resents the back breaking work because he focuses on what is, and the other who relishes it by imagining what could and will be. Once again I marvel at the dedication, perseverance, and commitment shown in this woman’s painstaking work.

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How motivating, when you start to see your creation emerge in its intended form? These days we are spoiled by instant gratification of digital photos on our phones, carried in our pockets and available in seconds. Remember film cameras? To take 24 photos, retract the entire roll, submit it for development, and not know for weeks whether any turned out the way we wanted, with no chance to repeat the shots… that wires our brains differently. How can we train for this kind of delayed and enhanced gratification in modern life? We appreciate and value of things more the harder we work to acquire or acheive them; we take less for granted. And that makes us humble, generous, and slower to dismiss. We live deeper lives, I think, and this video reminds me.

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Consider how far most of our daily lives occur from nature. Imagine if your work required you to step into white waters, hang onto your creation lest the river sweep it away, and work in collaboration with the earth to bring forth your art for the world? When our creations depend on the natural environment, it broadens our perspective, teaches us how little we control. How humbling and also inspiring, to participate with nature in making something new?

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This video ignites something strong for me–at once cognitive, limbic, and visceral. Epic vistas, resonant music, and a lone human both lifting heavy loads and creating grand art all conspire to incite a deep sense of awe and appreciation for all that we are capable of–Earth and humans alike. It feels like a simultaneous dopamine and serotonin hit, moving me to share immediately with friends, thus also giving me that surge of oxytocin I so live for.

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The woman in the video does everything apparently alone. But we know this production required a team in community, from the planters of the field to pavers of the path, to makers of tools and appliances, to filmmakers. Let us all remember that as much as we may think and feel we operate independently from others, this is rarely the case. Nature always interacts, always intersects, overlaps, merges, and moves in both confluence and opposition. Life is a dance of it all. How literally and figuratively moving!

As we enter autumn, the season of exhalation and shedding of layers, preparing for contraction and rest, let us draw near to that which nourishes us, body, mind, and spirit. This includes art, fitness, and connection in all forms.

Wishing all in the US a happy long holiday weekend! Thank you, friends, for continuing on this journey of discovery and reflection with me all this time.

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Many thanks and much love to friend Kasey McKenney for helping me think through the turning of seasons from a Traditional Chinese Medicine perspective.

Tomorrow Is Not Promised.

“The tumor has shrunk.”

It was the best news I could possibly get on my 51st birthday on Friday, from one of my best friends. Diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer some months ago, their future is now forever altered from what we had assumed and taken for granted.

Another classmate, teammate, and amazing human has terminal brain cancer, dammit.

I write this from my happiest and most contented place on Earth, the Colorado Rockies. For five days I get to hike, read, write, and be. Having received so many messages of love and connection on my birthday, starting the moment I woke up, it was clear that the only way for me to move through this long weekend is in deep gratitude.

Framing everything this way makes my perceptions of and reactions to any and all life occurrences different and better–more tolerable and peaceful. On arrival, my greeting from family: “Hi. So you’ve gained a lot of weight recently, huh?” WTAF, really? –pause– Gratitude. Reframe: This encounter triggers me because it evokes my own inner fat-shame and body image issues. Long standing, multifactorial, and slowly improving, I am shown here that I have more inner work yet to do: self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-discipline, among other things. Deep breath, forgiveness, thank you for this awareness; now I can let go and move on.

Gratitude makes me revel in my friendships–any and all opportunities to be present and attuned to the amazing humans I have the great, unearned fortune to know and love. In recent weeks I have had the opportunity to connect with my two friends above, and they humble me. Confronted with their own mortality in the prime of life, they exemplify grace. In our honest and loving conversations, they show me the absolute essence of vulnerability, courage, and perspective, and leave me in utter awe. We discuss frankly what it means and what it takes to get to peace with death. It reinforces my three take aways from Being Mortal by Atul Gawande: 1. We need to talk about death early and often, get comfortable with and accept it. 2. End of life decision making is about goals and trade-offs, and those of the dying take precedence. 3. The more peaceful the dying can feel at the end of life, the less suffering for those left behind. How lucky am I that my two friends lead by such wise and peaceful example?

We talk about grief, regrets, relationships, legacy, and meaning. We marvel together at the mind boggling advancement of cancer treatment in our lifetime, and the miracle that is the human body. We laugh, cry, and connect. I am shown starkly and in no uncertain terms that the most important thing in life is relationship, full stop.

One day, one moment, one breath at a time, my friends.

May we be present to all of it, as much as possible, in love and mindfulness, in mutual respect and humble communion. I’m sad, yes. And it’s okay. I revel in every day, every moment, every breath that my friends yet live. My highest goal and wish for them is to know how much they are loved and embraced, how they will never be forgotten, how all of us who know and love them will hold their spirits with us until we die ourselves. And that’s assuming something doesn’t take my own life before theirs end.
Tomorrow is not promised for any of us.

So knowing this, how will we choose to really live? Clarity on this visits me much more often as I age, and once again I am profoundly grateful. I get to choose love, respect, meaning, courage, and connection over resentment, disdain, judgment, and separation.

I can choose peace.

There will be time later to mourn, to grieve. Now is the time to honor, uphold, revel, and live fully in one another’s love and light.

Bit Post: Reciprocity

We get back what we send forth.

On November 17, 2022 I posted “Liberated“:

“I feel more liberated lately to say what I think, freed to be totally honest, boobs out (figuratively), suddenly and significantly more than before…
“What am I saying/telling more?  Usually it’s observations and assessments, syntheses of conversations, how I know people, how I see them in their contexts, and of course my relationships with them.  When I see (feel) power, love, vulnerability, strength, connection, growth, evolution, light—anything that grabs my attention and moves me—I name it.  I don’t let it pass by without catching and holding it a while, showing it, shining it.  Do you see how great you are?  Do you feel your worth?  Here, let me show you, help you stand in it, own it.  I have done this for years with my close friends.  Maybe I’m just more generous with it now?”

So it’s been over two years of elevated effusion (more on this tomorrow)–amplification of an innate desire and affinity for deep, meaningful connection. I am who I am, and apparently ever more so with age.

Today I was almost tearful at realization of the reward. Speaking and acting love and appreciation BOOBS OUT, no reservations, has yielded more than I could have imagined or anticipated. Love begets love; tightening of connection brings closeness. I see you. I tell you, show you; you feel seenheardunderstoodacceptedandloved, we connect, and we are both exponentially better for it. Our conversations get deeper. We know each other better, feel each other’s experiences, empathize, relate, and settle peacefully into each other’s ethereal, transcendent embrace. I am surrounded by this energy nowadays, and the elation simply defies expression.

I do not effuse love to get it back; this is not quid pro quo. The origin of this kind of connection may be the furthest from transactional that I can imagine. I’m driven by the intuitive certainty that any expression of love simply amplifies it, strengthens it, puts that much more of it into the world for us all to revel in. Love, in all forms, saves us. Writing Smile Jar love notes lifts my spirit long before anyone else sees them. And yet, when the spark that I initiate lands, completes that arc of love energy emitted and received, it charges both our batteries and powers us all.

Effusing love can be risky. It’s vulnerable. Sometimes I get strange looks; outright rejection is always a possibility. The intrinsic and extrinsic benefits, though–oh my friends–so very worth the effort.

Wishing you all to feel this kind of deep reciprocity of love, my friends. “Agape on,” I want to say. The world needs y/our love so desperately. See if you can withhold a little less–consider it? What would that take? What could be your reward? I will hold that whatever you emit returns to you in spades, uplifts and encourages you to continue, as it has for me.
Peace, friends. xo