Category Archives: personal growth

Paradoxes and Polarities

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Moonset, Sylvan Dale Guest Ranch, Loveland, CO January 2020.
Photo by Karen Cornell, DVM, PhD, DACVS

NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

The last NaBlo of 2020, hallelujah!  I do this for myself, but the views, likes, and comments are rewarding—so thank you all!

Every cloud has a silver lining; every light casts a shadow.

What paradoxes did you experience in 2020?  Here are mine:

  • Unearned vacation
  • Survivor’s guilt
  • Loss of control/autonomy of schedule
  • Loss of social activities/tightening of social bonds
  • Attention toward global humanitarian issues/Focus on intimate relationships
  • Disruption of usual routines/Return to fundamental patterns
  • Things are so bad/So much potential for good

Now some polarities I managed… What were yours?

  • Fear/Acceptance?  Curiosity?  Courage?
  • Self-care/Care for others
  • Doom scroll/Tune it all out
  • There’s nothing I can do, not my problem/I must do everything I can to help, it’s all up to me
  • I belong to this tribe/I reject this tribe
  • Think it through/Take action
  • Burn down the Patriarchy NOW/Culture change happens slowly
  • Intrinsic calling/Extrinsic conformity
  • I’m Awesome!/I will never be good enough
  • Inner peace/Outrage
  • Make sweeping delcarations/Qualify every statement

Wow.  That’s kind of a lot, and pretty complex.  And yet it’s so simple, so Zen. 

Life is an exercise in holding space—physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally—for all that feels like contradiction.  We are here to reconcile it all, to dig it up in order to smooth it out, to make peace in the morass, to turn manure into fertilizer.  The flexibility to hold mutually divergent ideas at the same time, and to move fluidly from one pole to its opposite and back again in dynamic balance—this is my most valuable lesson from this year.

In April I wrote about the best thing that could happen from this pandemic:  Connection.  It’s already happening, and I’m so grateful.  I’m also inspired, empowered, and ambitious for more. 

Can’t wait for 2021.

Pandemic Lesson #1: Flexibility

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

What have you had to be flexible about this year?  What has this taught you?

It’s not that we cannot make plans anymore.  It’s that we must be willing and able to change them, quickly and effectively, if we want to actually get anything done.  Move all primary care and primary/secondary education online?  Done.  Stop flying?  Okay.  Come back to work and school?  Sure.  Wait no, outbreak, go home again, please?  Fine.  Postpone big vacation 3…6 months… indefinitely…  *sigh*…we can deal.

Many of my patients are actually thriving in the new work from home normal.  Without the constant travel, jetlag, business dinners (the quadruple threat to acid reflux:  late, fatty, large, and full of alcohol), and long commutes, they sleep more and better, spend more time with family, exercise more, and eat healthier.  If all goes well, my executive health job may be obsolete in the next decade, hallelujah! 

Not everybody’s doing well, of course.  60% of the workforce still shows up in person; risk, stress, and burnout are very real, and escalating.  The people who are well are those with choice.  They are the privileged ones.

Most of us still don’t know how the new work life balance will look in the coming years, but we hope to retain and expand the flexibility that has given us some sense of agency and control.  Check out this episode of Hidden Brain to hear a Stanford work from home researcher on implications of this augmented world for all of us. 

What flexibility do you wish for in 2021?

Agency and control in the midst of a global pandemic—how ironic!  Pandemic lesson #2 may be Paradox and Polarities… The last 2020 NaBlo…  Wait for it…

Focus, Balance, and Power

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

Trying a new format below—a little stream of consciousness inner learning this Thanksgiving… Grateful for much, including small epiphanal gifts of the unfocused mindstate. Hope you all connected well today.

The Discovery

While doing TRX burpees today, I learned again how purposeful visual focus maintains balance.

In the shower, I appreciated how simply closing my eyes seals them against the sting of soap—amazing!

All hail the random genius of evolution:  Every function selected for its highest purpose… but is this really true?

Eyes open or closed, what is the difference?

Sensory integration holds us up

To balance well on one leg:  Plant whole foot on terra firma.  Sense the connections: toes–midfoot–heel–calf–knee–quad/ham–hip flexor/glute–paraspinals/abs–parascapulars–trapezius–neck—head–crown skyward:  One solid chain of simultaneous proprioception.  How strong and stable, as if elongating one’s own core could pull earth to sun.

But with eyes closed, instability immediately ensues. 

I’m forced to lean heavily on internal body cues, but I’m not well-enough attuned.

…What else do we take for granted?

…What calls us to attend now, before we lose our balance when stakes are high?

Presence

What all is happening here, now? 

Do I really see, am I truly present?

Be here.  Finish this task.

Have patience.

Maintain focus.

Practice determined, mindful, inner balance by closing the eyes sometimes.

Sharpen the other senses.

Training activates strength.

Strength, especially the inner kind, affords power—not power over, rather loving power, the ability to effect positive change.

Focus upholds balance.  Balance, properly trained, yields power.

I’ll keep meditating on this.

What do you think?